How to Live Problem Free

Everybody has problems but nobody realises the truth about them. Once you get this, you will never have another problem ever. If you're interested in living a problem free life, keep reading.

First, realise we are problem-making beings.

It appears to be the human condition to find problems, create them, and/or attract them. Even when you resolve a problem, you almost instantly fill the gap with another one. Almost nobody knows this. Yet it’s the key to living a problem free life. You have to understand that as one problem disappears, another bubbles up to take its place. That’s how the human mind works. Some people like drama more than others, but we all seem to attract problems simply out of human habit. It’s our current nature. It’s our program.

Second, you can transcend all problems with detachment.

To paraphrase Buddha, life is suffering, but once you realise that life is suffering, you no longer have to suffer. You are free. At that point you realise that life is a theatrical experience and you are just playing your part in the script of life. You are detached. You are, in many respects, awakened. This second insight is just a deeper understanding of the first one. Yes, we are problem-making beings but you can also detach from the experience of the problems.

You can witness them. You can watch them as if watching a soap opera on television.

Third, problems are due to perspective.

A problem to one person may be a blessing to another person. It depends on your intention, which directs your perspective. So where is the real problem? Is there even a problem at all? Dr. Hew Len, my co-author on the book Zero Limits, often asks, “Have you
ever noticed that when you have a problem, you are there?” He means that the problem is yours — yours in perception and yours in responsibility. Clear the beliefs in you that see it as a problem and the problem is gone. Poof!

The above insights work for any problem you can name.

Got money problems?

It’s only a problem because you aren’t accepting what you have and are focused on what you want with a feeling of lack or even desperation. You need to be grateful for what you have now and want more. When you do that with awareness and detachment, the issue isn’t a problem, it’s just your next activity. When you take the edge off your stress, you can more clearly see your next move.

Got relationship problems?

It’s the same scenario. It’s only a problem because of your perspective that it is a problem. From a higher view, it’s the next scene in the play of life. When you can take a deep breath, and realise this is just your next moment, you can more easily decide what to do. In fact, with clarity, there’s not even a decision. You know what to do and just do it.

To recap, the larger insight here is to realise that as a human you will always have problems. Always. But if you understand and accept that fact, you are then free from all problems and can lead an authentic problem-free life.

You got a problem with that?

Ao Akua,
Joe Vitale

Dr. Joe Vitale is the author of The Attractor Factor, The Key, Life’s Missing Instruction Manual, Zero Limits, and star of The Secret. www.JoeVitale.com

Original reference point for this article is: http://www.thinkbigmagazine.com/mindset/171-how-to-live-problem-free

Neuro-Linguistic Programming: Coaching Techniques

adapted from: www.livetocoach.com

There are many techniques associated with NLP. The following section introduces you to a number of techniques to give you with a sense of how NLP works in practice.

Representational Systems
In NLP, representation systems refer to the five senses: visually (we see), auditorily (we hear), kinaesthetically (we feel and touch), olfactorily (we smell), and gustatorily (we taste).

This article will consider their internal function:
• When I imagine the layout of my home - I am using my visual sensory channel, to make an internal representation.
• When I imagine the sound of bells ringing - I am using my auditory sensory channel, to make an internal representation.
• When I remember how cold I felt in Canada - I am using my kinaesthetic sensory channel, to make an internal representation.

When someone is accessing an internal representation, it is likely he/she will use language associated with that channel. If (for example) I am utilising information I have stored in the visual channel, I will use visual language, such as “I see” and “I get the picture”. The words that a person uses to describe an event, thing or experience gives the listener clues as to what sensory channel the person is thinking in.

Here are some examples:
Visual: “I see what you mean”; “I get the picture”.
Auditory: “I hear what you’re saying”; “Sounds good”.
Kinaesthetic: “I didn’t catch that”; “I get your drift”.
Olfactory: “I smell a rat”; “I can smell victory”.
Gustatory: “It’s all turned sour”; “It left a bitter taste in my mouth”.

The olfactory and gustatory sensory channels are used less frequently than the other channels to create internal representations. It is thus less likely that reference to these senses will appear in conversation - although they do occur occasionally.
Most of us use all of the sensory channels to take in information and make internal representations. Usually, however, we prefer one or two channels - such as the visual or auditory channels.

Technique 1 - Developing Rapport
Rapport, as we know, is used as an essential part of the coaching process to develop a relationship between coach and client. Involved in developing rapport in the NLP process is to consider that the words a client uses in conversation reflects the ’sense’ (i.e. visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, olfactory, and gustatory) through which they are thinking, we can then (as the coach) use that information to help create a deep rapport.

If you keep using auditory words with people who are in visual mode, they will unconsciously feel out-of-sync with you. This is because they need to unconsciously translate the information you provide into their preferred channel. This takes time and subsequently results in a loss of rapport.

Technique 2 - Manipulating Sub Modalities
Sub modalities are the descriptive qualities that are directly linked to a sensory channel. For instance - linked to the visual sensory channel are the sub modalities of colour, size, shape and distance. This means that when I look at something I can assess it based on these features. Alternatively, when I hear something, I can assess its volume and tone. Therefore, volume and tone are examples of sub modalities of the auditory channel.

So if somebody says…’I imagine it will be very difficult’, don’t say…’Let’s talk it over’, instead say… ‘Let’s have a look at this’. (Visual example)
If somebody says… ‘I just want to talk about it’, don’t say… ‘Okay, fill the picture in for me’, instead say… ‘Tell me about it’. (Auditory example)
If somebody says… ‘It doesn’t feel right’, don’t say… ‘Let’s view this differently’, instead say… ‘Okay, let me try and get a hold of this’. (Kinaesthetic example)

Following is an activity you can do to get an idea of what your own sub modality is:
• Step 1 - Imagine a day at the beach.
• Step 2 - With that image in mind, I want you to mentally turn up the intensity of the colours. Imagine the sky a bright, bright blue, the sand a bright yellow. Every colour is very vivid and intense.
• Step 3 - Now, in your mind, turn the image black and white. (Does this change your response to the scene?)
• Step 4 - Return the scene to its original colours and move it further away from you, way away into the distance (how does it change your response when the scene is so distant from you?).
• Step 5 - Now bring the scene closer, really close.
• Step 6 - Now return the image to its original form.
You have just manipulated the sub modalities of an internal visual representation (i.e. you have played with the way an image is represented in your mind). Specifically, you have manipulated:
the intensity of colour
colour vs. black and white
near vs. far

But we could have also manipulated the
Auditory: volume (e.g. turn up the sounds of the crashing waves and the children playing)
Kinaesthetic: movement (e.g. speed up the whole scene and make everything super fast - then turn it down to a snail’s pace)

Manipulating sub modalities is a foundational strategy that forms the basis of a variety of NLP techniques, including the Circle of Success (see Technique 3) and Reframing (see Technique 4). By facilitating the manipulation of sub modalities, coaches enable coaching clients to intensify preferred feeling states, such as confidence, success and achievement. Alternatively, the manipulation of sub modalities can assist in distancing a coaching client from less useful states, such as lethargy or apathy.

Technique 3 - Circle of Success*
Another activity that requires you to manipulate submodalities is the Circle of Success. Read and have a go at the Activity below:
• Step 1 - Remember a time when you felt a sense of pride in your achievements. Choose a significant memory - perhaps one in which you exceeded your own expectations! Take the time to recall the event clearly. See what you were seeing, hear what you were hearing and feel what you were feeling.
• Step 2 - Now imagine a circle on the floor in front of you.
• Step 3 - Give the circle a colour. You can make it bright, shiny, patterned, whatever you chose to make it visually attractive.
• Step 4 - Choose a word that goes with that proud state you imagined - such as “success”, “yes!” or “you can do it”.
• Step 5 - With your memory of success foremost in mind (as though you are re-living it), take a deep breath, say your code word and step into the imaginary circle in front of you.
• Step 6 - Stand in the circle and intensify the memory. Make the colours more vivid, the sounds clearer and the feelings more intense.
• Step 7 - Stay standing for a moment inside this circle of success. Really see, feel and hear that state of success and achievement.
• Step 8 - Now step out of the circle, pick it up from the floor and fold it up so it fits in your pocket. Anytime you need to feel that sense of pride and achievement - throw the circle on the floor and step back into it - this is your Circle of Success.
*Circle of Success modified from - Tompkins, P., & Lawley, J. (1993, November). Change your thinking: Change your life with NLP. Personal Success Magazine.

Technique 4 - Reframing by Altering Sub Modalities
Another technique that can be used to alter submodalities is through reframing. The point of this technique is to alter the way in which you see a situation that bothers you. Read through the following instructions and have a go at altering a situation that bothers you.
• Picture yourself in a theatre.
• See an experience that is bothering you as a movie up on the screen. [Start with a minor experience. It may be something that has already occurred or something that you are facing ahead of you, such as a nerve-racking presentation or a difficult conversation you anticipate having].
• First you might want to play it in fast forward, like a cartoon.
• You might want to put circus music to it, the sound of a calliope.*
• Then you might want to play it backwards, watching the image become more and more absurd.

*Note - A calliope is a type of organ composed of a set of whistles that sound as steam flows through creating loud, often boisterous sounds, often associated with the circus.
Extracted from Robbins, A. (1986). Unlimited Power. New York, NY: Ballantine Books.

This technique affords coaching clients a sense of distance from the bothersome event (by projecting it on to a screen) and creates a new way to view or store the experience. By altering the way in which the event is perceived, clients may experience a shift in the way the event influences their future behaviour, thoughts and/or emotions.

Conclusion
NLP is predominantly used in coaching to examine a client’s habitual patterns of behaviour and to enhance performance. This is accomplished through investigating a client’s beliefs and belief systems and to help change these where appropriate.
In this resource you have examined some of the commonly used techniques in NLP including developing rapport, manipulating submodalities and reframing by altering sub modalities.

Creating Wealth

In the midst of a recession, seeking to create wealth seems a contrarian viewpoint. However, in this article (published in the current edition of ThinkBig Magazine www.thinkbigmagazine.com), Vanessa Bonnette outlines 5 key principles to doing just that.

Research has shown that attaining wealth has nothing to do with luck, education or intelligence. The truth is that wealthy people understand the principles of accumulating wealth and simply put them into action. The principles are covered in the book Empowered for the New Era, but this article outlines five key lessons. By following all the principles of wealth, your life will change and you will generate wealth.

These five lessons are very simple; however, they require courage and commitment for change to manifest, particularly in the ways you think and behave toward money.

Lesson 1: Choose To Be Wealthy

Like most things in life, wealth begins with a decision. Today you can choose to build wealth. Write down a “wealth affirmation” and make it clearly visible so you look at it every day. Your conscious decision to create wealth is the beginning of change - the moment you made the decision, your consciousness automatically starts working to create that reality.

Lesson 2: Be Responsible with Money

If you don't control your money, money will control you! Controlling money simply means taking responsibility for what you have. You need to know where your money comes from, how much you have/earn and where it’s going. Take time to write these three aspects down – be precise. Assess your emotions while you discover what your money is doing. It’s easy to take responsibility and make your money work for you when you know you’ll feel good.

Lesson 3: Save a Percentage

Wealthy people use the “pay myself first” principle before paying others. They usually take 20% from their earnings and bank it or invest it in a separate account every payday. This money is never touched unless an absolute emergency arises. These untouched savings accounts earn compound interest (interest on interest) and their money keeps increasing.

Lesson 4: Adopt a Winner’s Attitude

Winners always strive to increase their income and reduce their costs. You can quickly reduce the amount of money you spend by asking yourself “Do I really need that?” before buying something. You could take public transport occasionally instead of driving or consider car pooling. Reduce food waste by planning meals and buying only the ingredients required – avoid buying all the extra temptations in the supermarket! By replacing the common (destructive) thought that “Consuming is a necessary part of life” with something that is constructive like “As I simplify, I beautify” you’re adopting a winner’s attitude of “win-win” i.e. you win and earth wins! I guarantee possessions will not make you happy.

Lesson 5: Give and Receive

I’m sure we’d all like to live in a society where everyone has enough, is taken care of and supports one another. Unfortunately we don’t live in a society like that, so there are many who do not have enough, are not taken care of and do not support others. Most people focus only on themselves; hence millions starve to death, live in poverty and are neglected. Giving freely of our time, money and resources to those less fortunate contributes immensely to society and is our guarantee of receiving love, joy and peace. If everyone contributed in this way abundance would be commonplace. Remember: Giving is love in action.

Vanessa J. Bonnette is a world renowned author, fully qualified practitioner and founder of Empowered for Life Holistic Health and Healing Services; and Shekinah Therapy. Her latest publication - Empowered for the New Era - is now available. Please visit www.shekinahtherapy.com.au for more details.

The Urgent / Important Matrix

Using Time Effectively, Not Just Efficiently

It's urgent, but is it really important?

We've all been there: The project is due for today's meeting and we are only three quarters done. Our anxiety is at its peak, we can't concentrate, everything is a distraction, and then, finally, we blow!

Time stressors are some of the most pervasive sources of pressure and stress in the workplace, and they happen as a result of having too much to do in too little time.

With this kind of pressure all too common, effective time management is an absolute necessity. You probably use a day-planner and to-do list to manage your time. These tools are certainly helpful, but they don't allow you to drill down to one of the most essential elements of good time management: distinguishing between what is important and what is urgent.

Great time management means being effective as well as efficient. Managing time effectively, and achieving the things that you want to achieve, means spending your time on things that are important and not just urgent. To do this, and to minimize the stress of having too many tight deadlines, you need to distinguish clearly between what is urgent and what is important:

•Important activities have an outcome that leads to the achievement of your goals.
•Urgent activities demand immediate attention, and are usually associated with the achievement of someone else's goals, or with an uncomfortable problem or situation that needs to be resolved.

Urgent activities are often the ones we concentrate on. These are the "squeaky wheels that get the grease." They demand attention because the consequences of not dealing with them are immediate.

The Urgent/Important Matrix is a useful tool for thinking about this.
The idea of measuring and combining these two competing elements in a matrix has been attributed to both former US President Eisenhower and Dr Stephen Covey.

Eisenhower's quote, "What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important," sums up the concept of the matrix perfectly. This so-called "Eisenhower Principle" is said to be how Eisenhower organized his tasks. As a result, the matrix is sometimes called the Eisenhower Matrix.

Covey brought the idea into the mainstream and gave it the name "The Urgent/Important Matrix" in his 1994 business classic, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

How to Use the Tool:

The Urgent/Important Matrix is a powerful way of thinking about priorities. Using it helps you overcome the natural tendency to focus on urgent activities, so that you can keep enough time clear to focus on what's really important. This is the way you move from "firefighting", into a position where you can grow your business and your career.

The matrix is drawn as a quadrant, with dimensions of Importance on the vertical axis and Urgency on the horizontal axis, defined as high or low priority. It contains four elements, i.e. Important Goals, Critical Activities, Distractions and Interruptions which are plotted on the quadrant.




The steps below help you use the matrix to prioritize your activities:
1.Firstly, list all of the activities and projects you feel you have to do. Try to include everything that takes up your time at work, however unimportant. (If you manage your time using an Action Program, you'll already have done this.)
2.Next, assign importance to each of the activities – you can do this on, say, a scale of 1 to 5: Remember, this is a measure of how important the activity is in helping you meet your goals and objectives. Try not to worry about urgency at this stage, as this helps get to the true importance.
3.Once you have assigned importance to each activity, evaluate the urgency of each activity. As you do this, you can plot the listed items on the matrix according to the assigned importance and urgency.
4.Now study the matrix using the guidelines below, and schedule your work according to your priorities.

Strategies for Different Quadrants of the Matrix

Urgent and Important ("Critical Activities"):
There are two distinct types of urgent and important activities: Ones that you could not foresee, and others that you have left to the last minute.

You can avoid the latter by planning ahead and avoiding procrastination.

Issues and crises, on the other hand, cannot always be foreseen or avoided. Here, the best approach is to leave some time in your schedule to handle these. Also, if a major crisis arises, some other activity may have to be rescheduled.

If this happens, identify which of you urgent-important activities could have been foreseen and think about how you could schedule similar activities ahead of time, so they do not become urgent.

Urgent and Not Important ("Interruptions"):
Urgent but not important activities can be a constant source of interruption. They stop you achieving your goals and completing your work. Ask yourself whether these tasks can be rescheduled, or whether someone else could do them.

A common source of such interruptions is from other people coming into your office. Sometimes it's appropriate to say "No" to people, or encourage them to solve the problem themselves. Alternatively, try allocating time when you are available, so that people only interrupt you at certain times (a good way of doing this is to schedule a regular meeting so that all issues can be dealt with at the same time). By doing this, the flow of work on your important activities will be less disrupted.

Not Urgent, but Important ("Important Goals"):
These are the activities that you can plan ahead for to achieve your goals and complete your work. Make sure that you have plenty of time to achieve these, so that they do not become urgent. And remember to leave enough time in your schedule to deal with unforeseen problems. This will maximize your chances of keeping on schedule, and help you avoid the stress of work becoming more urgent that necessary.

Not Urgent and Not Important ("Distractions"):
These activities are just a distraction, and should be avoided if possible. Some can simply be ignored. Others are activities that other people want you to do, but they do not contribute to your own desired outcomes. Again, say "No" politely and firmly where this is appropriate.

If people see you are clear about your objectives and boundaries, they will often not ask you to do "not important" activities in future.

Key Points

The Urgent/Important Matrix helps you look at your task list, and quickly identify the activities you should focus on. By prioritizing using the Matrix, you can deal with truly urgent issues, at the same time that you keep on working towards your goals.


This article is reproduced with permission of MindTools
http://www.mindtools.com/rs/CareerExcellenceClub

LifeSkills Personal Development Programme

The LifeSkills programme is an integrated, experiential 5 week evening programme combining presentations, discussions and exercises designed to increase your self-awareness, enhance your decision making and lead to more effective personal and professional behaviours. Participants will be expected to actively engage in the programme, and will be encouraged to complete a Personal Development Plan.

Each Monday night session will last for two hours, commencing 21st September 2009 in the Conference Room, Ground Floor, Letterkenny General Hospital.

The programme will be supported by handouts and will involve some ‘homework’!! The cost of the programme is €99 per person, with a minimum of 10 participants required for the course to take place.

The programme outline is as follows:-

Moving Forward
- where are you now?
- Balanced Wheel exercise
- where are you going?
- how can you get there?
- Being SMART
- GROW Model & Goal Setting

Knowing Me . . . Knowing You
- Exploring different Personality Types
- Discover your own personality type
- Apply this knowledge to yourself, and others
- Personality & Career Choice

Communication Skills
- Verbal communication
- Use of language
- Neuro Lingusistic Programming
- non-verbal & active listening
- Perception - exercise
- Emotional intelligence

Assertiveness
- personality types
- different approaches
- giving & receiving feedback
- Learning to say No, & feeling good about it
- ‘catastrophising’ &‘tolerations’

Stress Management
- Stress and Distress
- identify sources & symptoms of Stress
- recognise trigger situations
- manage your responses, immediate & long-term
- Boundary setting
- Review your role as a stressor for others

Review & Course Evaluation

Bookings can be made by contacting Patrick from EPM Consulting on 0(0353)86 8892346,e-mailing info@epmconsulting.eu or via the company website www.epmconsulting.eu .

How to Set Goals Effectively

"A goal properly set is halfway reached." Zig Ziglar

Clear goals contain the power to motivate and energise us into action. Yet so often we start out on the quest for self-improvement, either personally or professionally with no real concept of where we want to be or exactly what it is we want.

We may have some vague concept in mind, such as increasing income or productivity but this is rarely translated into specific goals. Without a clear goal in mind, it becomes increasingly likely that we may unwittingly focus our well intended energy in the wrong direction.

When we are unsure of where we are heading it becomes very easy to work hard yet accomplish little. With a clear goal in sight, we can ensure that our actions continually contribute to its achievement.

Without goals you are drifting and when you drift you are not in control. If you are not in control, then someone else is. Then you have relinquished the basic right to be master of your own destiny. In doing this you also surrender your freedom of action which restricts your choices and can lead to frustration, anxiety, fear and stress.

The benefits of goal setting are numerous. Individuals who set effective goals:

suffer less stress and anxiety;
have better concentration;
show increased self confidence;
perform better;
are happier with their performance.

Goal setting also:

keeps you focussed;
provides clarity and direction;
increases determination, patience and persistence;
builds self-esteem when goals are met;
ensures you remain proactive in your life, rather than reactive.
The seeds of achievement are found in the process of goal setting. If your goals are incorrectly set, then the probability of a successful outcome are severely diminished.

When setting your goals ensure you subject each goal to the SMART but PURE test.

Goals must be SMART:

Specific - Is your goals well-defined? Your goal must be clear and concise. Avoid setting unclear or vague objectives.
Measurable - Be clear how you will recognise when you have achieved your goal. A hint is to use numbers and dates where possible.
Attainable - Don't set yourself up for failure. Setting yourself goals that you cannot possibly achieve will only end in disappointment. Make your goals challenging, but realistic.
Relevant - Try and step back and get an overview of all different areas of your life. Consider how relevant your goals are to the overall picture.
Time-framed - Set a time frame for the completion of each goal. Even if you have to review your time frame as you progress, it will assist you to stay motivated.

But PURE:

Positively stated
Understood
Realistic
Ethical

Most of these are self-evident and require no further elaboration; however a couple of observations must be made. If a goal is not realistic, there is no hope, but if it is not challenging, there is no motivation.

It is very important to state goals in the positive. If I say to you 'Don't think of a blue balloon' - what do you think about - a blue balloon. If goals are stated in the negative - you will focus on the negative.

ACTIVITY - Take a piece of paper now and make a list of 5 professional goals you would like to accomplish in the next year. Write your goals as though they have already been achieved. For example: "I earn X euro per year" OR "I drive such and such a car".

Read over your list of goals and select the one that, if achieved would have the greatest positive impact on your life.

Circle the goal clearly.

Below is a seven step process for effective goal setting. By following these seven steps, you can maximise your ability to accomplish your goals. You may notice that the activity you have just completed has worked through steps one and two of this process. You may like to spend more time on this activity in your own time.

This is a crucial first step. It is vital that your goal aligns with where you want to go and exactly what you want to achieve.

1 Decide exactly what you want
2 Write it down
3 Set a deadline
4 Make a list of everything you have to do to achieve that goal
5 Organise that list into a plan
6 Take action immediately
7 Resolve to do something everyday that progresses you toward your goal
(Brian Tracy, 2004)

The next step, step three is to set a final deadline for your goal.

Source: adapted from www.counsellingacademy.com.au

Useful Principles of Time Management

"You may delay, but time will not, and lost time is never found again." ~ Benjamin Franklin


It is said that good time management can add two hours to a person's daily life! Below are three general principles that can assist you to better manage your time and increase your overall productivity.

The 80/20 rule - The 80/20 principle is also known as the Pareto principle. It is based on the ideas of an Italian economist called Vilfredo Pareto. Pareto was a French-Italian economist and philosopher who lived between 1848 and 1923. Initially his observations were based largely on the distribution of wealth.

In other words, he saw that 20 per cent of people owned 80 per cent of wealth. The remaining 80 per cent control only 20 per cent of the wealth. Over time it was realised that the same principle could be applied to many areas.

In time management this can be applied in a number of ways. One of these is to say that 20 per cent of what you do accounts for 80 per cent of your results.

Prime time - In line with the 80/20 rule is the idea of 'Prime Time'. It is found that not only do 20 per cent of your efforts account for 80 per cent of your results, but also that your best efforts occur in 20 per cent of the day.

In other words, most people are found to be somewhat inefficient for 80 per cent of their time. If someone is found to have a time in the day that is more productive than other times, this is when they should carry out their priority work and this is the time of the day they should protect themselves against distractions and diversions.

Don't try to change everything at once - Also in line with the 80/20 principle, it is best to focus on certain areas of their life, and set tasks that gradually help you to build from one success to another.

For example, if you are simply not sleeping well and your average day is a disaster due to exhaustion, then you know that a large result can be obtained by working on this one problem.

Similarly, if you spend 5 out of every 15 minutes looking for something at your office or workplace, then you reorganizing you work area significantly add time to your day. From each success you can go on to the next area, rather than adding to overload by trying to do too much at once.

If you want to make the best of your time, and improve your effectiveness, contact EPM Consulting at www.epmconsulting.eu today. But do it now, and remember . . . .tomorrow is not a day of the week!