By Jenetta Haim, courtesy of www.thinkbigmagazine.com. For more information check out her website at www.stressfreemanagement.com.au
Do you have control of your thinking or does your thinking have control of you? Often it is the latter. How many times have you had good intentions, decided to go for that interview, apply for that promotion, start that business and then deflated like a rubber doll back into your shell?
Do you have control of your thinking or does your thinking have control of you? Often it is the latter. How many times have you had good intentions, decided to go for that interview, apply for that promotion, start that business and then deflated like a rubber doll back into your shell?
It happens to the best of us and it's important to keep our thinking positive if we want to remain motivated. Positive thinking encourages healthy behavior such as eating properly, exercising and generally being happier with life in the office, socially and on a personal level. It all comes down to what you believe. If you believe in yourself and envision what you can do then you have the capability to make it happen. It's called manifesting.
Unfortunately the reverse is also true. If you believe you will fail, can't afford it, will lose that job then you most likely will. It's called the law of attraction. What you think attracts the same. When you get onto a negative thought trend you usually find a number of things to be negative about and start the roller coaster. It is that kind of negative self talk that can sabotage even the best of our intentions.
The confidence you have in performing a certain behavior is called self-efficacy and it is this that can be used to change your behaviour. Many successful people reach their goals due to coaching in positive thinking. If this has helped them then it can do the same for you. It all starts with believing in yourself that you CAN do it! If you can't do this for yourself then maybe a coach for a while will help. They can teach you how you can choose to think positive instead of negative and this will help you to feel better about yourself. They can also teach you skills in how to relax and de-stress, manage your time better, get in touch with your goals and use these to build on your career and personal life.
It is important to build small goals which are achievable and reward yourself when you do achieve them. Remember that sometimes it's ok to step backwards before you move forward. Look at the behaviours that sabotage you. Do you use the excuse of traveling for business to slacken off in your nutrition and exercise or do you have one too many cigarettes using the excuse of being tired and too many meetings? All this will affect you in a negative way and impact on your personal and business life.
Whichever it is, be honest with yourself and look at how you behave. Take a minute to consider how you might have handled things differently if things didn't go well at that last meeting. It's important not to beat yourself up about it. What is in the past can't be changed but you can learn from it and manifest a more promising future. Maybe you could have shared a business dinner at a restaurant instead of eaten at that greasy take-away? Make a mental note of what needs to change.
It is important to admit when you feel frustrated or depressed and not to ignore it. It is also important not to go into overwhelm. This makes you less productive. Understand your negative thoughts and feelings and replace them with more positive ones. So what does it take to keep you positive?
Is there someone out there that is doing what you want to be doing? Look at them as a mentor. It might entail watching how they communicate so you can communicate better or simply bringing changes to your personal lifestyle. Look at what they do, ask them how they do it and you start to do it.
Use positive head talk and avoid negative talk. Take a minute to look at all the things you do RIGHT. Tell yourself you can do it and when you get negative tell yourself you are not that person anymore and you don't have to choose to even go there. You are not the same person who lost the client last week. That was that particular client. Now is a new week. A new client and you have had millions of thoughts and feelings and inputs since then. You will never be that person again and you don't have to go back there. Move on. Have the confidence that you can make positive changes and believe that you deserve to be happy.
Get support from colleagues, friends and family. Stay around people who will back you up instead of those that silently think 'there he goes again'.Reward yourself with that briefcase you wanted, the new mobile phone, or the bubble bath, massage, CD you have wanted to buy.
Make positive plans and schedule them in your diary. Plans to eat right, exercise, meet more friends for dinner, join a club, and take that difficult client to lunch to build rapport; whatever it takes. Write down those goals and it can become an action plan to keep you on track.
Most importantly remember that the things you feel you may have done wrong is what you 'know' you did wrong. If it was a presentation then your client does not even know what you were going to say so if you missed something it's not the end of the world. Build on your confidence and motivation each day and after a few months you will find that your goals have manifested themselves…funny how that happened!
Tuesday 23 February 2010
Thursday 11 February 2010
The Language of the Heart
Do you feel stressed and harassed during the day, like you're always doing things to please others rather than yourself?
• Do you have problems making decisions about insignificant matters?
• Are you unsure about what it is you really want?
• Do you find yourself doing things you really don’t want to do and continually acting out of obligation?
Part of being an adult is learning to put the needs of others, such as our children or employer, ahead of ourselves. But we can become so used to doing what we feel we should do, or living by the expectations of others that we lose touch with ourselves.
If we stop listening to our hearts voice, eventually we won't recognize it. Then we wonder why our life is so dry and un-spontaneous.
We need to re-open the conversation with our heart - to remember how to listen to our heart and not just our head.
How to recognise your hearts voice: when you're feeling stressed or that you feel you have lost your centre, ask yourself two questions,
1. “What am I feeling now?”
2. “I would like … ?”
Try to listen to the first thought – which will be from your heart –– not your head which comes in with chatter and rationalizing afterwards.
If the message from your heart is possible and practical – then do it, eg. take a break, call a friend, pop out for a coffee, jump up from your desk and shout “Yes!”.
If it is not realistic just note your hearts message until its convenient to follow through, but be careful – this habit is life changing!
Why not try following your heart and doing one spontaneous thing every day?
Monday 11 January 2010
Handbook for 2010
Thanks to Cynthia for forwarding this to me. Read on . . .you might just like it!
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...
Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
Last but not the least:
40. Please share this with everyone you care about . . . . I just did!
Friday 1 January 2010
New Years Resolutions
The New Year stretches before us like 365 blank pages of a personal diary. What will be written on those pages by this time next year? Will it be a tale of health, wealth, romance and wondrous prosperity? Or will those pages tell a story of misery, sorrow and sadness?
There's only one thing for sure... whatever is written on those pages will be authored by you and me! Isn't that neat? Just think... each of us is writing our own personal action adventure... and... . . . . We Can Make It Come Out Anyway We Want!
The above words were written by Neil Asher on his blog, and don't they just ring true? As we approach the start of a New Year, we all have the opportunity to start afresh, to turn over a new leaf, to be everything we wanted to be. The possibilities are endless, limited only by our own imagination, and self-imposed obstacles.
What is stopping you moving ahead, moving forward, being what you want to be?
What boundaries are you placing in your own way? What patterns of thinking or behaviour are inhibiting you from being your best?
Its a New Year again, when many of us contemplate making changes in our life. For some, these will be minor alterations, whilst others may be considering more major changes. Commonly these changes involve shifts in behaviour (such as deciding to lose weight, to stop smoking, to take more exercise or to change direction in our careers or relationships). Often these changes have been germinating in our conscious or unconscious mind for some time, and a New Year offers us the opportunity psychologically to make a new start.
Research suggests there are three groups which people belong to when considering changing their behaviour, which broadly speaking can be categorised as:
non-contemplators: this group are generally happy with their lot, and see no need to change. This may be due to lack of insight, lack of motivation or being genuinely satisfied with their life and lifestyle at this time
pre-contemplators: this group have occasional (and perhaps increasing) pangs of guilt or dissatisfaction with their current situation, and would like certain things to be different. However, these insights are fleeting and have not yet become sufficiently irritating or disturbing to convert into the action required to change
contemplators: This group have reached the point where they are ready to take positive action to change. They are sufficiently dissatisfied with their current situation to make positive behavioural changes. This group are the prime focus of campaigns aimed at Smoking cessation etc at this time of year.
If you have reached the point where you are motivated to change, how might you improve your chances of success? The pointers outlined below may be useful to you at this time.
Plan: Think through the change you wish to make in a rational way. Consider the implications of what you need to do in practical terms. What impact will this change have on your 'significant others'? What action will you take to replace the existing behaviour with a more positive alternative?
Be Practical: In most cases, the behaviour or habit you are trying to break has taken years to evolve, and become embedded as a significant part of your life over a long period of time. Don't expect that it will be easy to change overnight.
Be Positive: Start out with a positive determination to succeed.
Start Small: Whilst for some, the 'big bang' approach is appropriate, for many others setting small, short term targets that are achievable is more effective. Starting with a number of small successes can be the building blocks necessary to maintain and sustain the change in behaviour you are trying to make. Think Evolution rather than Revolution!!
Reward Yourself: Celebrate success and openly acknowledge the progress you are making. Obviously the rewards should be genuinely earned, and appropriate - opting for a chocolate cake 'reward' in the midst of a weight loss regime might be best avoided!
Lapses: Accept that there will inevitably be setbacks along the way, and plan for these. Don't allow these to be the excuse to fall back into old, established patterns of behaviour. When lapses happen - and they will happen - start again with renewed vigour. View lapses as diversions on your road to success, and don't get derailed from your ultimate goal.
Involving Others: No man is an island. Consider involving family, friends and/or colleagues in your quest for success. Others can provide support and encouragement when your willpower is wavering. Knowing others are aware of your goals may provide you with the extra impetus to succeed, if only to prove to them you can do it!
Finally, be clear that all change is difficult, and requires patience and perserverance (as are all things that are worth having). Remember, the Price of Persistence is always less than the Pain of Regret . Why not make that your motto for the weeks and months ahead?
Make that change, and take that first step by contacting EPM Consulting (www.epmconsulting.eu) for Personal, Executive & Lifestyle Coaching. To assist you (or a friend), and to reduce the financial pain of making this committment, EPM Consulting have a limited offer available to first 10 people to e-mail Patrick at info@epmconsulting.eu
Tuesday 15 December 2009
Positive self-esteem
Having a strong sense of self-esteem is a key part of feeling happy within ourselves, and of feeling that we're succeeding in things that matter.
Positive self-esteem helps you be yourself, handle adversity, and believe that you'll win through, despite setbacks. It's an inner force that sustains you, and gives you the courage you need to succeed. How do you "grade" yourself?
Low self-esteem does the opposite. It's connected to self-doubt, and to a general feeling that you're not quite good enough to meet life's challenges. In fact, low self-esteem is used to diagnose many mental disorders, and it can be associated with anxiety, sadness, hostility, loneliness, and a lack of spontaneity.
What Is Self-Esteem?
You're probably familiar with the idea of self-esteem. It's often associated with self-confidence, but self-esteem is more than just confidence - it goes deeper. In fact, some people argue that you can have self-confidence and still have low self-esteem - most notably if you approach life with a "fake it 'til you make it" attitude (in other words, "pretend" until you succeed).
Healthy self-esteem doesn't involve faking anything. And although there's significant debate over the definition of self-esteem, a leading theory is that it's a combination of two factors: competence and worthiness. Nathaniel Branden says the following in his book "The Psychology of Self-Esteem":
"Self-esteem has two interrelated aspects: it entails a sense of personal efficacy and a sense of personal worth. It is the integrated sum of self-confidence and self-respect. It is the conviction that one is competent to live and worthy of living."
To evaluate your own levels of self-esteem, complete the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale (SES) http://www.bsos.umd.edu/socy/research/rosenberg.htm. This is a 10-item scale developed by Dr. Morris Rosenberg. Even though it was developed as long ago as 1965, it's still a popular form of measurement used in self-esteem research.
Competence and Worthiness
The competence element of self-esteem deals with how far you believe that you have the skills and abilities you need to succeed in areas that matter to you.
This isn't generalized success. It's specific to areas of your life that are particularly important to you. For example, if you can sing and dance and entertain a crowd like no one else, that won't contribute to positive self-esteem if what you really value is academic success. Likewise, if you rise to the top of your profession, but you're not proud of that profession, it's unlikely that you'll feel a strong sense of self-esteem as a result.
It's this idea of "value" that brings us to the other element of self-esteem: worthiness. This is where you express your overall evaluation of yourself. It's based on your values, and on whether you behave in a way that is consistent with these values. Together, these factors influence whether you believe you're "good enough", and whether you like and respect the person you are.
By combining competence and worthiness, and by looking at how they relate to each other, we get a full and dynamic definition of self-esteem. Just feeling good about yourself isn't self-esteem. There has to be a competence element, so that your behaviors result in positive actions, not destructive ones. Too great a sense of worthiness can lead to conceit, and even narcissism. Healthy self-esteem keeps those things in balance.
Note:
Looking at self-esteem this way allows us to see the difference between healthy self-esteem and too much self-esteem, which can lead to aggressive and destructive behavior. Thinking that you're better than others can lead you to become arrogant and worse. And if your level of self-esteem is too far in advance of your abilities, you’re setting yourself up for failure, humiliation, frustration and anger. (In fact, some researchers link this with domestic violence.)
Improving Self-Esteem
Now that you know what self-esteem is, you're in a better position to improve yours in a robust and balanced way.
Here are some tips for improving your self-esteem:
Think about yourself positively: You are the only person who can change your view of yourself. No one else can give you self-esteem - you have to build it by thinking about all of the positive things in your life. Make sure that you get into the habit of positive thinking, and learn how to detect and defeat patterns of self-sabotage. Be your own best cheerleader and supporter!
Take pride in your accomplishments: When you do something well, celebrate it. Don't wait for someone else to tell you how wonderful you are: tell yourself!
Set goals: The more you achieve, the better you'll feel about yourself. Goal setting is a great technique for targeting, tracking and recognizing success. It helps you to build competence and, from this, build a sense of pride and a feeling of worthiness. Make sure that you embrace goal setting!
Be consistent: You improve self-esteem when you act in ways that are consistent with your values. If you find yourself in a compromising or difficult situation, do all that you can to make a decision that is consistent with these values. Achieve your goals with integrity, and don't undermine your self-esteem by cheating, or acting in a dishonest way.
Remember that you aren't perfect: Don't be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes, and that's often OK, just as long as we learn from them. The standards you have to meet are your own: stop worrying about what others think, and focus on the great things about yourself. If you do, your inner confidence will shine through, and more than compensate for any shortcomings you might have.
Look after yourself physically: Being active can improve self-esteem. Activities that improve your health help you feel more in control, and give you a sense of satisfaction that carries though to other areas of your life.
Key Points
The way you think is key to your sense of self-esteem. You're the one in control, and you can make a difference. If you like yourself, and believe that you deserve good things in life, you'll have high self-esteem. If you dislike yourself or criticize yourself excessively, you won't.
Having healthy self-esteem is important, because it helps you deal with life's challenges and achieve the things that matter most to you. As such, make a commitment to yourself to value what you do and who you are!
Article reproduced from Mindtools newsletter 142
Positive self-esteem helps you be yourself, handle adversity, and believe that you'll win through, despite setbacks. It's an inner force that sustains you, and gives you the courage you need to succeed. How do you "grade" yourself?
Low self-esteem does the opposite. It's connected to self-doubt, and to a general feeling that you're not quite good enough to meet life's challenges. In fact, low self-esteem is used to diagnose many mental disorders, and it can be associated with anxiety, sadness, hostility, loneliness, and a lack of spontaneity.
What Is Self-Esteem?
You're probably familiar with the idea of self-esteem. It's often associated with self-confidence, but self-esteem is more than just confidence - it goes deeper. In fact, some people argue that you can have self-confidence and still have low self-esteem - most notably if you approach life with a "fake it 'til you make it" attitude (in other words, "pretend" until you succeed).
Healthy self-esteem doesn't involve faking anything. And although there's significant debate over the definition of self-esteem, a leading theory is that it's a combination of two factors: competence and worthiness. Nathaniel Branden says the following in his book "The Psychology of Self-Esteem":
"Self-esteem has two interrelated aspects: it entails a sense of personal efficacy and a sense of personal worth. It is the integrated sum of self-confidence and self-respect. It is the conviction that one is competent to live and worthy of living."
To evaluate your own levels of self-esteem, complete the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale (SES) http://www.bsos.umd.edu/socy/research/rosenberg.htm. This is a 10-item scale developed by Dr. Morris Rosenberg. Even though it was developed as long ago as 1965, it's still a popular form of measurement used in self-esteem research.
Competence and Worthiness
The competence element of self-esteem deals with how far you believe that you have the skills and abilities you need to succeed in areas that matter to you.
This isn't generalized success. It's specific to areas of your life that are particularly important to you. For example, if you can sing and dance and entertain a crowd like no one else, that won't contribute to positive self-esteem if what you really value is academic success. Likewise, if you rise to the top of your profession, but you're not proud of that profession, it's unlikely that you'll feel a strong sense of self-esteem as a result.
It's this idea of "value" that brings us to the other element of self-esteem: worthiness. This is where you express your overall evaluation of yourself. It's based on your values, and on whether you behave in a way that is consistent with these values. Together, these factors influence whether you believe you're "good enough", and whether you like and respect the person you are.
By combining competence and worthiness, and by looking at how they relate to each other, we get a full and dynamic definition of self-esteem. Just feeling good about yourself isn't self-esteem. There has to be a competence element, so that your behaviors result in positive actions, not destructive ones. Too great a sense of worthiness can lead to conceit, and even narcissism. Healthy self-esteem keeps those things in balance.
Note:
Looking at self-esteem this way allows us to see the difference between healthy self-esteem and too much self-esteem, which can lead to aggressive and destructive behavior. Thinking that you're better than others can lead you to become arrogant and worse. And if your level of self-esteem is too far in advance of your abilities, you’re setting yourself up for failure, humiliation, frustration and anger. (In fact, some researchers link this with domestic violence.)
Improving Self-Esteem
Now that you know what self-esteem is, you're in a better position to improve yours in a robust and balanced way.
Here are some tips for improving your self-esteem:
Think about yourself positively: You are the only person who can change your view of yourself. No one else can give you self-esteem - you have to build it by thinking about all of the positive things in your life. Make sure that you get into the habit of positive thinking, and learn how to detect and defeat patterns of self-sabotage. Be your own best cheerleader and supporter!
Take pride in your accomplishments: When you do something well, celebrate it. Don't wait for someone else to tell you how wonderful you are: tell yourself!
Set goals: The more you achieve, the better you'll feel about yourself. Goal setting is a great technique for targeting, tracking and recognizing success. It helps you to build competence and, from this, build a sense of pride and a feeling of worthiness. Make sure that you embrace goal setting!
Be consistent: You improve self-esteem when you act in ways that are consistent with your values. If you find yourself in a compromising or difficult situation, do all that you can to make a decision that is consistent with these values. Achieve your goals with integrity, and don't undermine your self-esteem by cheating, or acting in a dishonest way.
Remember that you aren't perfect: Don't be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes, and that's often OK, just as long as we learn from them. The standards you have to meet are your own: stop worrying about what others think, and focus on the great things about yourself. If you do, your inner confidence will shine through, and more than compensate for any shortcomings you might have.
Look after yourself physically: Being active can improve self-esteem. Activities that improve your health help you feel more in control, and give you a sense of satisfaction that carries though to other areas of your life.
Key Points
The way you think is key to your sense of self-esteem. You're the one in control, and you can make a difference. If you like yourself, and believe that you deserve good things in life, you'll have high self-esteem. If you dislike yourself or criticize yourself excessively, you won't.
Having healthy self-esteem is important, because it helps you deal with life's challenges and achieve the things that matter most to you. As such, make a commitment to yourself to value what you do and who you are!
Article reproduced from Mindtools newsletter 142
Sunday 29 November 2009
Personality Type & Career Choice
A thorough understanding of your personality type can be a tremendous guide that can help you to:
Choose a new job or career
Change your job or career
Increase your satisfaction with your present career
Your personality type can assist you in developing your career goals and establishing a process to reach those goals. When - using the People Process MBTI scoring matrix - you have identified your four-letter type, you can gain a thorough understanding of your strengths – your unique gifts.
The more you understand about yourself, the better your decisions will be and the more effectively you will be able to implement those decisions. Your personality preferences can help you decide what you want to do, how to approach that field and get what you want.
To briefly review, personality type theory was developed by Dr. Carl Jung in the early 1900s. Dr. Jung sought to explain the normal differences between healthy people. Jung espoused that the differences in people’s behavior was a result from people’s inborn tendencies to use their minds in different ways. As people act on these tendencies, they develop patterns of behavior.
We have different energy levels, notice different aspects of the world around us, make decisions based on different criteria and structure our lives in different ways depending on what makes us most comfortable. These characteristics combine to create the whole personality. Dr. Jung identified four dimensions that make up our personality type – and these are part of our DNA – they are inborn traits.
The four dimensions are: Energy, Information, Decision, Action, and are used by us hundreds of times a day. Each dimension consists of two opposite poles. Picture each dimension as a continuum with a mid-point in the center. Each of us has a natural inborn preference (strength) for one side of the continuum or the other in each of the four dimensions.
The People Process approach can also assist with understanding how other people should treat you.. This will give you insight into the types of work and surroundings that will be most fulfilling for you. For instance, if in the Energy behavior dimension you chose Introvert you will see that the way you prefer to be treated is:
Related to one-on-one
Have others Value your need for privacy
Be allowed time to change focus
Ask questions to draw them out
Do not be pressured for an instant response
This tells you that you like to work alone and don’t need a lot of supervision. You’re great at putting things together behind the scenes.
However, if you chose Extravert in the Energy behavior dimension, you’ll find that you like to have a lot of interaction with others and you want them to:
Listen attentively
Be actively responsive
Be energetic & enthusiastic
Support their need to communicate
Recognize their need for social interaction
Extraverts like to be able to bounce ideas off of others and get immediate feedback. They would be very frustrated working all alone in a cubicle on a project by themselves.
In the Information behavior dimension, if you chose Sensing as your preference, you’ll find that you have skills in dealing with facts and details and when receiving information from someone you prefer that they:
Be orderly and organized
Show facts with evidence
Be direct and to the point
Draw on your experience
Be practical because you are
If you chose Intuition in the Information behavior dimension, you are terrific at coming up with creative solutions, marketing direction and “out of the box” ideas and when receiving information you prefer they:
Give you an overview
Have a vision of the future
Appeal to your imagination
Encourage your need to explore
Allow for the expansion of ideas
When it comes to making a Decision, a Thinking person is logical, steps back and objectifies the decision, preferring to be treated this way:
Expect questions
Use logic
Be calm and reasonable
Be brief, concise, yet thorough
Present information for their analysis
A Feeling person personalizes decisions asking, “How does this affect me and the people involved?” This person likes you to remember to:
Be honest and sincere
Be personal and friendly
Share with them your feelings
Encourage them to share their feelings
Allow them time to know and trust you
In the Action behavior dimension, the Judging person likes to control their environment and prefers that you:
Don’t disturb their order
Be prepared and deliberate
Value their time because they do
Finalize whenever & wherever possible
Take their deadlines seriously
And, the Perceiving person values spontaneity above all and prefers that you:
Be open to options & changes
Use variety in your approach
Let them set their own deadlines
Make use of their resourcefulness
Encourage possibility-thinking
Does this give you an idea of how to approach finding out your strengths and preferred way of being treated so that you can decide on the career that best suits you? Continue analysing your strengths and preferred way of being treated by others. Once you have analyzed this information, identify the types of careers that include your preferences and strengths – the way you like to be treated and are most comfortable.
This article was adapted from an original article by the founder of the People Process, Pamela Hollister and has been reproduced with her personal permission. If you have any comments or feedback on this posting, please send these to me via the Comments tab below, as I have promised to share all feedback with Pam.
You will find additional information on personality profiling and related information on the following websites
www.personalitypathways.com
www.thepeopleprocess.com/articles.php
www.eiconsortium.org
www.eq.org
www.nlpinfo.com
www.neurolinguisticprogramming.com
www.enneagraminstitute.com
www.9types.com
Choose a new job or career
Change your job or career
Increase your satisfaction with your present career
Your personality type can assist you in developing your career goals and establishing a process to reach those goals. When - using the People Process MBTI scoring matrix - you have identified your four-letter type, you can gain a thorough understanding of your strengths – your unique gifts.
The more you understand about yourself, the better your decisions will be and the more effectively you will be able to implement those decisions. Your personality preferences can help you decide what you want to do, how to approach that field and get what you want.
To briefly review, personality type theory was developed by Dr. Carl Jung in the early 1900s. Dr. Jung sought to explain the normal differences between healthy people. Jung espoused that the differences in people’s behavior was a result from people’s inborn tendencies to use their minds in different ways. As people act on these tendencies, they develop patterns of behavior.
We have different energy levels, notice different aspects of the world around us, make decisions based on different criteria and structure our lives in different ways depending on what makes us most comfortable. These characteristics combine to create the whole personality. Dr. Jung identified four dimensions that make up our personality type – and these are part of our DNA – they are inborn traits.
The four dimensions are: Energy, Information, Decision, Action, and are used by us hundreds of times a day. Each dimension consists of two opposite poles. Picture each dimension as a continuum with a mid-point in the center. Each of us has a natural inborn preference (strength) for one side of the continuum or the other in each of the four dimensions.
The People Process approach can also assist with understanding how other people should treat you.. This will give you insight into the types of work and surroundings that will be most fulfilling for you. For instance, if in the Energy behavior dimension you chose Introvert you will see that the way you prefer to be treated is:
Related to one-on-one
Have others Value your need for privacy
Be allowed time to change focus
Ask questions to draw them out
Do not be pressured for an instant response
This tells you that you like to work alone and don’t need a lot of supervision. You’re great at putting things together behind the scenes.
However, if you chose Extravert in the Energy behavior dimension, you’ll find that you like to have a lot of interaction with others and you want them to:
Listen attentively
Be actively responsive
Be energetic & enthusiastic
Support their need to communicate
Recognize their need for social interaction
Extraverts like to be able to bounce ideas off of others and get immediate feedback. They would be very frustrated working all alone in a cubicle on a project by themselves.
In the Information behavior dimension, if you chose Sensing as your preference, you’ll find that you have skills in dealing with facts and details and when receiving information from someone you prefer that they:
Be orderly and organized
Show facts with evidence
Be direct and to the point
Draw on your experience
Be practical because you are
If you chose Intuition in the Information behavior dimension, you are terrific at coming up with creative solutions, marketing direction and “out of the box” ideas and when receiving information you prefer they:
Give you an overview
Have a vision of the future
Appeal to your imagination
Encourage your need to explore
Allow for the expansion of ideas
When it comes to making a Decision, a Thinking person is logical, steps back and objectifies the decision, preferring to be treated this way:
Expect questions
Use logic
Be calm and reasonable
Be brief, concise, yet thorough
Present information for their analysis
A Feeling person personalizes decisions asking, “How does this affect me and the people involved?” This person likes you to remember to:
Be honest and sincere
Be personal and friendly
Share with them your feelings
Encourage them to share their feelings
Allow them time to know and trust you
In the Action behavior dimension, the Judging person likes to control their environment and prefers that you:
Don’t disturb their order
Be prepared and deliberate
Value their time because they do
Finalize whenever & wherever possible
Take their deadlines seriously
And, the Perceiving person values spontaneity above all and prefers that you:
Be open to options & changes
Use variety in your approach
Let them set their own deadlines
Make use of their resourcefulness
Encourage possibility-thinking
Does this give you an idea of how to approach finding out your strengths and preferred way of being treated so that you can decide on the career that best suits you? Continue analysing your strengths and preferred way of being treated by others. Once you have analyzed this information, identify the types of careers that include your preferences and strengths – the way you like to be treated and are most comfortable.
This article was adapted from an original article by the founder of the People Process, Pamela Hollister and has been reproduced with her personal permission. If you have any comments or feedback on this posting, please send these to me via the Comments tab below, as I have promised to share all feedback with Pam.
You will find additional information on personality profiling and related information on the following websites
www.personalitypathways.com
www.thepeopleprocess.com/articles.php
www.eiconsortium.org
www.eq.org
www.nlpinfo.com
www.neurolinguisticprogramming.com
www.enneagraminstitute.com
www.9types.com
Monday 16 November 2009
Liking and the power of persuasion
People prefer to say yes to individuals they know and like. This simple rule helps to understand how Liking can create influence and how compliance professionals may emphasize certain factors and/or attributes to increase their overall attractiveness and subsequent effectiveness. Compliance practitioners may regularly use several factors.
Physical attractiveness is one feature of a person that often may help to create influence. Although it has long been suspected that physical beauty provides an advantage in social interaction, research indicates that this advantage may be greater than once supposed.
Physical attractiveness seems to engender a "halo" effect that extends to favourable impressions of other traits such as talent, kindness, and intelligence. As a result, attractive people are more persuasive both in terms of getting what they request and in changing others' attitudes
Similarity is a second factor that influences both Liking and compliance. That is, we like people who are like us and are more willing to say yes to their requests, often without much critical consideration.
Praise is another factor that produces Liking, although this can sometimes backfire when it is too transparent. But generally compliments most often enhance liking and can be used as a means to gain compliance.
Increased familiarity through repeated contact with a person or thing is yet another factor that facilitates Liking. But this holds true principally when that contact takes place under positive rather than negative circumstances. One positive circumstance that may works well is mutual and successful cooperation.
A final factor linked to Liking is often association. By associating with products or positive things, those who seek influence frequently share in a halo effect by association. Other individuals as well appear to recognise the positive effect of simply associating themselves with favourable events and distancing themselves from unfavourable ones.
A potentially effective response that reduces vulnerability to the undue influence of Liking upon decision-making requires a recognition of how Liking and its attending factors may impact our impression of someone making requests and soliciting important decisions.
That is, recognising how someone making requests may do inordinately well under certain circumstances should cause us to step back from some social interaction and objectively separate the requester from his or her offer or request. We should make decisions, commitments and offer compliance based upon the actual merits of the offer or request.
Applying the rule of liking:
- Use strategies to be liked by your prospects and clients (read 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie for some powerful tips or refer to the excellent summary here on this blog
- Always be positive and genuinely interested in the concerns of prospects.
- Always be fully present when communicating with clients and prospects. Never talk to a prospect on the phone while you're on the internet or reading emails.
- Listen to your client when they tell you about their interests, their family and friends. Get in the habit of remembering names, events, favourite teams or pastimes and use this information to show a genuine interest and desire to get to know your clients. This shows that you care and people naturally like those that care
Physical attractiveness is one feature of a person that often may help to create influence. Although it has long been suspected that physical beauty provides an advantage in social interaction, research indicates that this advantage may be greater than once supposed.
Physical attractiveness seems to engender a "halo" effect that extends to favourable impressions of other traits such as talent, kindness, and intelligence. As a result, attractive people are more persuasive both in terms of getting what they request and in changing others' attitudes
Similarity is a second factor that influences both Liking and compliance. That is, we like people who are like us and are more willing to say yes to their requests, often without much critical consideration.
Praise is another factor that produces Liking, although this can sometimes backfire when it is too transparent. But generally compliments most often enhance liking and can be used as a means to gain compliance.
Increased familiarity through repeated contact with a person or thing is yet another factor that facilitates Liking. But this holds true principally when that contact takes place under positive rather than negative circumstances. One positive circumstance that may works well is mutual and successful cooperation.
A final factor linked to Liking is often association. By associating with products or positive things, those who seek influence frequently share in a halo effect by association. Other individuals as well appear to recognise the positive effect of simply associating themselves with favourable events and distancing themselves from unfavourable ones.
A potentially effective response that reduces vulnerability to the undue influence of Liking upon decision-making requires a recognition of how Liking and its attending factors may impact our impression of someone making requests and soliciting important decisions.
That is, recognising how someone making requests may do inordinately well under certain circumstances should cause us to step back from some social interaction and objectively separate the requester from his or her offer or request. We should make decisions, commitments and offer compliance based upon the actual merits of the offer or request.
Applying the rule of liking:
- Use strategies to be liked by your prospects and clients (read 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie for some powerful tips or refer to the excellent summary here on this blog
- Always be positive and genuinely interested in the concerns of prospects.
- Always be fully present when communicating with clients and prospects. Never talk to a prospect on the phone while you're on the internet or reading emails.
- Listen to your client when they tell you about their interests, their family and friends. Get in the habit of remembering names, events, favourite teams or pastimes and use this information to show a genuine interest and desire to get to know your clients. This shows that you care and people naturally like those that care
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