Fear

3 Fears, 3 Solutions
There are three basic fears that all of us experience from time to time:
Fear of Failure, Fear of Rejection and Fear of the Unknown.

Yes, there are other fears we encounter, but these three are the ones that have the greatest tendency to affect our day to day decisions, and our ability and desire to achieve our goals. Here are some very simple approaches to consider in addressing these fears.

Fear of Failure
Adopt the attitude that there is no such thing as failure. There is only learning. Maybe the goal is too big and unrealistic as it is now. Is there something smaller you could work on first that is "less risky?" In many cases, the "failure" comes from a skills shortage. So, what can you learn how to do, or to better, that reduces the risk? Sometimes we feel we'll "fail" if we have to do the task on our own. Who could you ask to get involved with to accomplish the task with a greater result and less fear? If something doesn't work, try something else. You always have this choice, so "failure" doesn't have to be permanent. Has there ever been a time when you were successful? What made you successful then and can you apply it now? If you haven't succeeded at something before, what have you learnt from it that you can apply to now?

Fear of Rejection
We often focus on the thing the other person is saying "no" to. What are they saying "yes" to? What would be different if you were focused on both what you want and what the other person wants versus just being focused on what you want? Just because someone said "no" to you doesn't mean you don't have value. It's not necessarily about you. There is something to learn from every situation. What could you learn from a "no" answer? Are you really ready for a "yes" response? If you're not ready for it, you might actually attract the "no" response. You always have a choice of attitude. If you choose the negative outcome attitude, you'll attract exactly that. Remember the strengths and value of you, or of the proposition, and focus on that positive. That will attract a far more positive response.

Fear of the Unknown
There are some things you're never going to be able to know about (like the future) in advance, so stop trying. If there's information you need, what can (and will) you do about getting it? Are you trying to make a decision based on an assumption? Remember that assumptions are not facts. Do you trust your intuition? Our intuition is typically right on the mark. Even if the outcome isn't what you want, there's always something to learn from it. Learn the unknown, even if after the fact. Sometimes it takes a leap of faith. Are you willing to simply believe? If you don't try anything, you won't move at all. Taking even little steps helps you learn the unknown, so you can take a bigger step next time. What little step can you take now?

Author: Noel Posus
Website: www.noelposus.com
Adopted from CoachingIQ website

Coaching

Coaching is a structured, focused, interactive process designed to unlock potential and maximise performance in people, at both an individual and organisational level. The word coach is derived from early methods of travel e.g. stage coach, and literally means to transport someone from one place to another (Starr, 2003)[i]. This process of transition from where the client is now, to where they wish to be and the capacity to devise an appropriate action plan to get there – ‘with as little effort and as much fun as possible’ (Blanchard & Homan, 2004)[ii] - is fundamental to the coaching process, and journey.

The basis of Personal & Executive Coaching is that people are creative and resourceful, and have the capacity to overcome the challenges confronting them in their personal and professional lives. Coaching releases this potential through effective questioning, constructive challenging and action orientated goal setting, in collaboration with the client(s). The overall objective is to assist individuals identify and overcome barriers to progress, to make more effective decisions, and enhance their performance now and into the future.

[i] Starr, J (2003) The Coaching Manual: The definitive guide to the process, principles and skills of personal Coaching. Pearson Education Ltd Harlow

[ii] Blanchard, S & Homan, M (2004) Leverage Your Best: Ditch the Rest. Coaching Secrets for Life and Work Capstone Publishing Ltd Chichester


At EPM Consulting, our objective is to work with resourceful and succesful people to optimise their potential and effectiveness, in both a personal and business context. We specialise in Career Coaching, which can be delivered one to one in person, or by telephone.

Interested . . why not contact us today to discuss how you can Be your Best!

What do you want in 2008?

It is now the first week-end of 2008, and perhaps an opportunity to finally find some space to review and clarify your plans / objectives / goals for 2008. We all - unconsciously at least - have dreams, aspirations and a wish list for the year ahead, even if we haven't yet articulated them, or admitted them consciously. However, as the noted life coach Henry Kimsey-House stated "wishes without goals are just dreams".

To help you get started, I have included below an article by Jack Cranfield.

Decide What You Want by Jack Canfield
In order to get what you want, you must first decide what you want. Most people really foul up at this crucial first step because they simply can't see how it's possible to get what they want -- so they don't even let themselves want it.

Don't sabotage yourself that way!

What scientists now know about how the brain works is that you must first decide WHAT you want, before your brain can figure out HOW to get it. Once you lock-in your desires, your mind and the universe can step in.

Are you ready to get started?

Be Willing to Dream BIG Dreams.
As soon as you commit to a big dream and really go after it, your subconscious creative mind will come up with big ideas to make it happen. You'll start attracting the people, resources, and opportunities you need into your life to make your dream come true. Big dreams not only inspire you, they compel others to want to play big, too.

Set Goals That Will Stretch You
Another value in giving yourself permission to go after the big dreams is that big dreams require you to grow in order to achieve them. In fact, in the long run, that is the greatest benefit you will receive from pursuing your dreams -- not so much the outer trappings of fulfilling the dream (an expensive car, impressive house, loads of money and philanthropic opportunities), but who you become in the process.
As I've seen many times over, the outer symbols of success can all be easily lost. Houses burn down, companies go bankrupt, relationships end, cars get old, bodies age and fame wanes, but who you are, what you have learned, and the new skills you have developed never go away. These are the true prizes of success. Motivational philosopher, Jim Rohn advises that "You should set a goal big enough that in the process of achieving it, you become someone worth becoming."

Service to Others
Something else you'll discover is that when your dreams include service to others -- accomplishing something that contributes to others -- it also accelerates the accomplishment of that goal. People want to be part of something that contributes and makes a difference.

Turn Your Dreams into Goals and Objectives
Once you are clear about what you want, you must turn each item into a measurable objective. By measurable, I mean measurable in space and time -- how much and by when. For instance, if you were to tell me that you wanted more money, I might pull out a dollar and give it to you, but you would probably protest, saying "No, I meant a lot more money -- like $20,000!" Well, how am I supposed to know unless you tell me? Similarly, your boss, your friends, your spouse, your brain -- God, the Universe -- can't figure out what you want unless you tell them specifically what it is. What do you want -- exactly -- and when do you want it by?

Write Your Goals Down
Write your goals down in detail, and read your list of goals every day. This will keep your subconscious mind focused on what you want. For an even more powerful approach, close your eyes and focus on each goal and ask yourself, "What is one thing I could do today to move toward the achievement of this goal?" Write down your answers and take those actions.

I recommend writing down a minimum of 3 goals in each of the following 7 areas:
1. Financial Goals
2. Career/Business Goals
3. Free Time/Family Time
4. Health/Appearance Goals
5. Relationship Goals
6. Personal Growth
7. Making a Difference

To help your reticular activating system begin finding YOUR wants in unexpected places, take time now to decide what you want and start writing!

New Year

Further to my post below, I am delighted that an earlier article on New Years Resolutions has been chosen as a front page article by Helium.com. This can be viewed by going to www.helium.com, or by clicking on http://www.helium.com/tm/107977/again-contemplate-making-changes

What a great end to 2007!

It's almost here.

The New Year stretches before us like 365 blank pages of a personal diary.What will be written on those pages by this time next year? Will it be a tale of health, wealth, romance and wondrous prosperity? Or will those pages tell a story of misery, sorrow and sadness?

There's only one thing for sure... whatever is written on those pages will be authored by you and me! Isn't that neat? Just think... each of us is writing our own personal action adventure... and...We Can Make It Come Out Anyway We Want!

The above words were written by Neil Asher on his blog, and don't they just ring true? As we approach the start of a New Year, we all have the opportunity to start afresh, to turn over a new leaf, to be everything we wanted to be. The possibilities are endless, limited only by our own imagination, and self-imposed obstacles.

What is stopping you moving ahead, moving forward, being what you want to be?

What boundaries are you placing in your own way? What patterns of thinking or behaviour are inhibiting you from being your best?

Make that change, and take that first step by contacting EPM Consulting (www.epmconsulting.eu) for Personal, Executive & Lifestyle Coaching.

Your new life might only be one click away!!!

Barriers to Listening & Communicating well

The best communicators are the best listeners, and the best conversationalists are also the best listeners, partly because they have been so attentive. Many complaints and conflicts arise because someone feels they have not been listened to properly. The simplest way to make others feel valued and appreciated is to actively listen to them.

Here are 12 common blocks to listening:
Comparing
Comparing yourself to the speaker and your experience/knowledge etc. with theirs.
Mind Reading
Trying to figure out what the speaker really means, rather than listening to what they are actually saying.
Rehearsing
Rehearsing in your own mind what you're going to say as soon as you get the chance.
Filtering
Only listening for certain things, ignoring the rest and letting your mind wander if you don't hear what you want or expect.
Judging
Judging what the speaker says, rather than listening in an open non-judgemental way.
Dreaming
Only half listening, then allowing your own related thoughts to take you into a daydream.
Identifying
Identifying with what they say and referring it back to your own experience e.g. "You think that was bad, wait till you hear what happened to me!"
Advising
You quickly spot the problem that the speaker is relating and you want to jump in and tell them how to put it right.
Sparring
Jumping into the conversation as soon as you disagree with what you hear.
Being right
You don't listen to anyone else because you are already right and don't want to be challenged on anything.
Derailing
You suddenly changing subject when you get bored or uncomfortable with the topic.
Placating
Responding by saying whatever you think the speaker wants to hear

If you want to enhance your listening skills, it requires conscious effort. Select one or two of the blocks to listening and consciously be aware of when you slip into them. Awareness is of course the first step, and be prepared to feel awkward at first. But stick with it - remember, the price of perserverence is always less than the pain of regret!

With listening and communication skills in general, the more you resist the temptation to impress in the other person’s eyes, the more you will actually shine, and be appreciated by them. Don't you feel valued when someone gives YOU their undivided attention?

Source: Adapted from "Messages" by Matthew McKay, Martha Davis & Patrick Fanning

Using 'The Secret' for Effortless Success

Daily Disciplines for Effortless Success

Six Steps for Activating "The Secret" in Your Life by Jack Canfield

The first step to using Law of Attraction as presented in the movie The Secret is to clarify exactly what you want. Remember—determine, write down and talk about what you do want, not what you don’t want. Be as specific as possible. Once you have clarified what you want, do the following each and every day.

1. Morning Intention, Visualisation and Releasing
As soon as you wake up in the morning, take about 5 minutes to focus your mind on your desires, goals and intentions. Start by sitting in a comfortable position, closing your eyes and visualising your desires and goals as already being fulfilled. Spend 30 seconds to a minute on each of your core desires and goals. You can also take a few moments to visualise your day going exactly as you would like it to. When you do this, you will often find negative limiting beliefs that are the result of negative programming from your childhood will come up. You may hear thoughts like “I could never afford that,” “there’s no way I’ll ever get that,” or “who am I kidding?” coming up. Don’t fight or argue with the thought; just release it. Remember to also spend several moments feeling the feelings you would feel if you had already manifested your desire in your life. The intensity of the feeling is what fuels the intensity of the attraction.

2. Use External Images to Keep you Focused on Your Desires and Goals.
To keep yourself focused on what you want to manifest surround yourself with visual images of the things and experiences you want to attract into your life. There are many techniques you can use for this.
1) Cut out pictures of the things you wish to own (like your ideal car or home) and pictures that represent the experiences you want to have (like the perfect relationship, your ideal job, perfect health, being at your ideal weight, more joy, inner peace or balance in your life)to remind yourself of how you want it to be. Tape them up where you will see them every day—on the mirror, the refrigerator, or your bulletin board. You can also scan them into your computer and make them into a screen saver or a continuously running PowerPoint program.
2) Combine your pictures and words that you cut out into a collage on a large piece of poster board.
3) Make a Dream Book by putting the pictures into a 3-ring binder pasted onto the pages or slid into plastic page protectors. When you look at any of these pictures, do what Bob Doyle, who is featured in The Secret teaches— think the thought, “THIS IS MINE NOW! THIS IS WHO I AM!”

3. Think a Better Feeling Thought
Start paying attention to the many times during the day that you have emotional responses (to other people, experiences, or your own thoughts) that are not in alignment with having or producing your desires. Pay special attention to when you feel disappointment, resentment, frustration or anger about your experiences and circumstances. Remember, it’s your feelings (which are created by your thoughts, opinions, and beliefs) that are attracting your current circumstances. You must make a vibrational shift by changing your thoughts to ones that make you feel better (i.e., raise your vibration). Remember that you must become a vibrational match for the things and experiences that you want to attract into your life. It is especially important to focus your thoughts and behaviors on things that cause you to feel joy. Focus your thoughts on thoughts that bring you joy (your lover, your best friend, your grandchildren, your favorite holiday spot) and your actions on doing the things you love to do (pet your cat, work in your garden, listen to your favorite music).

4. Have an Attitude of Gratitude
It is critical to take time each and every day to focus on what you are grateful for. Some people do this in the morning before or after they visualise their desires; others prefer to do it in the evening. Focus on all of the things in your life (most of which you take for granted) that you are grateful for—your health, your children, your job, the nice weather, electricity, running water, a nice stereo system, your flower garden, your pets, your friends). No matter what your situation, there are always things to be grateful for. The more you focus on what you are grateful for, the more things and experiences you will attract to be grateful for.

5. Take Action
There are two kinds of actions you can take. Obvious actions are things like, if you want a better car, going to test drive all of the models you are interested in and choosing the exact car you want to have, and saving 10% of your income in a “car account.” If you want to be a doctor, apply to medical school. There are also what I call “inspired actions.” Once you begin to do the things described above, the universe will start responding by sending people, resources and opportunities you need to manifest your desired result. You are going to find that you have inspired ideas; you must act on them. You must follow those gentle proddings from the universe. Often these intuitive impulses will have no seeming connection to achieving your goal, but if you follow them, they will lead you down a path of wonderful fulfillment. Here’s a quick way to know if the actions you’re taking are taking you closer to the fulfillment of your dreams and desires. If you are feeling joy while you are doing them, then you are on the right path. Remember, joy is your internal guidance system, just like the GPS system in a car, telling you are taking the right actions. Follow your joy.

6. Acknowledge that it is Working
If you start to see something change for the better, acknowledge that it is happening. Appreciate it. When you receive unexpected income, acknowledge it. When you meet someone who can help you achieve your goal, acknowledge that Law of Attraction is working. The more you acknowledge that it’s working, the more it will work. It’s that simple. If you are attracting things into your life that you don’t want, remember the Law of Attraction is still working. Instead of thinking or saying, “It’s not working,” ask your self, “What am I focusing on, thinking about, talking about, feeling or doing that is attracting this into my life?” If you want to know what you are thinking about, notice the results you are producing in your life. To change those results, you will first have to change your vibration by changing your thoughts and feelings. While there are many techniques that are variations on these themes that you can apply, there’s nothing else you have to do.


See more from Jack Cranfield at http://www.freesuccessstrategies.com/

James Sweetman is the author of Graduate to Success and is a leading authority on Peak Performance. If you are ready to step into your potential, visit http://www.jamessweetman.com