Be Your Best

Strategies for Taming your Inbox!

2011-03-30T19:28:00.005Z

When used appropriately, email is an incredibly useful communication tool. But many of us feel overwhelmed by the amount of mail that we receive and feel the need to respond to promptly.

However, there are ways to manage your email so that you're more productive. In this article, we'll explore strategies for doing this, so that you can get on with the real work at hand.

Note:
Keep in mind that these strategies may not work for everyone. So use your own best judgment when thinking about how to manage your email

Checking Email
Checking your email regularly during the day can be an effective way to keep your inbox at manageable levels. However, the constant interruption and distraction that comes from multitasking in this way can dramatically lower your productivity, and disrupt your ability to enter a state of flow when working on high value projects.

Check Email at Set Times
One strategy you can use is to check email only at set points during the day. For instance, you may decide that you'll only check your email first thing in the morning, before lunch, and at the end of the day.

Here, it helps to set your email software to download messages only at certain times, so that you're not distracted by incoming messages. If you can't do this, at least make sure that audible and visual alerts are turned off.

When to Check Email
You can also reserve time to read and respond to email after a long period of focused work, or at the time of day when your energy and creativity are at their lowest (this means that you can do higher value work at other times). If you're concerned that your colleagues, boss, or clients will be annoyed or confused that you're not responding to their email quickly, explain that you only check email at certain times, and that they can call you or use instant messaging if the matter is really urgent.

Note:
Clearly, in some roles, you will have to check email on a regular basis, especially if your business uses email as its main communication tool. As with all of these strategies, use your judgment, based on your circumstances.

Reading Email
When it comes to reading email, you can waste hours if you don't use this time well.

The Two-Minute Rule
First, try using the "Two-Minute Rule" (a concept from David Allen, the author of "Getting Things Done") - if the email will take less than two minutes to process (a quick read, and a short answer) then take care of it right now, even if it's not a high priority.

The idea behind this is that if it takes less than two minutes to action, then reading and then storing the task away "to do later" takes longer than it would to just take care of the task now.

Schedule Time
For emails that will take longer than two minutes to read or respond to, schedule time on your calendar, or add this as an action on your To-Do List.

Most email programs will allow you to highlight, flag, or star messages that need a response, so utilize this handy feature whenever you can.

Tip:
Many of us get lots of internal notifications. These are those "FYI" emails from the corporate office or team members who want to keep us "in the loop." If you see your name in the cc field instead of the To field, chances are it's an FYI email. Consider filing it in a To Read folder, and tackle it when you have time.

Organizing Email
Can you imagine having an inbox with nothing in it? It almost sounds too good to be true! Although a completely empty inbox (also called "inbox zero") might be unrealistic for many of us, keeping our main inbox cleared can make us more organized, and help eliminate stress.

Filing Email
Start by setting up a simple filing system to help manage your mail.

You could use broad categories titled "Action Items," "Waiting," "Reference," and "Archives." If you're able to stay on top of your folders - particularly "Action" and "Waiting" folders - you could use them as an informal To-Do List for the day.

If four categories sounds too simplistic for your needs, you can set up a more detailed system. For instance, you could create a folder for every project that you're working on, or have a set folder for each of your clients or sales reps.

The advantage to creating specific folders for processing email is that it makes searching for past mail easier. Instead of scouring your entire email system, you can simply search in that particular folder.

Tip:
An alternative approach is to use a good PC-based search tool like Google Desktop Search - this makes it really easy to search for emails and other documents.

The best approach to use can depend on how quickly you need to access a specific email. If you need instant access (for example, if clients often call you to discuss emails) you may want to file into folders. If you don't, then desktop search may be all that you need.

Using Rules
Most email programs, such as Outlook and Gmail, allow you to establish "Rules" to automate sorting email into particular folders.

For instance, you might get several emails per day notifying you of sales that your company has made. You want to receive these, because you want to see what's happening, but you don't want them to clutter your Inbox.

This is where you could set up a Rule in your email program that moves emails with "Sale Notification:" in the subject line straight to the "Sales Made" folder as soon as they come in. This frees up your time from filing these emails, and allows you to keep all sales emails in one folder.

Non-Essential Email
If you regularly receive email such as newsletters, blogs and article feeds, consider having them re-routed to another email address, or use rules, so that they're instantly delivered to a particular folder.

This will help keep your primary inbox clear, and they'll be in one place, ready for you to read at a convenient time.

Tip:
You can make a world of difference for your colleagues, boss and clients by writing effective emails. This will not only save them stress and frustration, but succinct, relevant emails can also save an enormous amount of time - yours and theirs.

Good Team Habits
One of the best things that you can do, to limit the amount of email you need to process, is encourage your team to send you less.

For instance, if certain team members regularly send you long-winded emails, let them know. Tell them gently but firmly that because of the demand on your time, you'd appreciate emails no longer than a paragraph or two. Anything longer than that should warrant a phone call. Alternatively, they could drop by your office for a discussion.

Also, promote good email and communication strategies in your organization - encourage people to use the strategies highlighted in this article. .

Key Points:
Most of us feel overwhelmed by email. Although it's a great communication tool, more often than not it's overused. By managing it effectively, you can significantly boost your productivity.

To gain control of your inbox, start by checking and processing email only at certain times during the day. If you're concerned about the delayed response, let people know that you don't check your email constantly.

Also, try to keep your inbox as clear as possible. Organize mail using folders like "Action", "Waiting" and "Archives". And when you do check mail, use the two minute rule - any email that can be read and responded to in two minutes or less should be handled right then.

You can also reduce your incoming mail by asking people to send you less, and by advocating effective email and communication strategies in your organization.

This article is reproduced from Newsletter 184, issued by www.mindtools.com

Want to lose weight?

2011-01-06T22:30:00.003Z

The following article, by James Sweetman, identifies 8 steps to an effective weight loss strategy.

1. Beliefs – getting your thinking right
Beliefs are statements that we hold to be true and we act in accordance with them. Most of the time our beliefs are unconscious, that is, we are not aware of them and the power they hold over us. In the context of weight loss, a typical belief is ‘losing weight is very tough.’ If we belief this to be true, we will seek evidence to verify this belief.
The experts I spoke with did not have any limiting beliefs in terms of fitness and health. Examples of their positive, empowering beliefs included:

“Life will be immeasurable improved when attention is paid to a healthy diet.”
“How I feel is a top priority.”
“I don’t have to be perfect all the time.”
Write out the beliefs you are holding in this area. A good way to uncover them is to simply think about what you would like to achieve and write out all the thoughts that come into your mind. What thoughts are limiting and could hold you back? What could you replace them with?

2. Focus on the end result
The people who succeed at losing weight and maintaining the loss are motivated by a dream much bigger and more positive than just losing weight. They see themselves living a healthy lifestyle. They begin to act and think like people who are in good physical shape. They change their thinking and the change in their actions follow automatically. It wouldn't be possible to effect and sustain such a radical change unless the person is motivated by a big dream that is positive in nature.

3. Planning
The bigger focus or dream is converted into results and achievements by having a future focus and planning ahead. Speaking with the experts, planning fell into two categories.

Firstly, having a goal focus. That could be completing the mini marathon in June or reaching a certain weight or dress size by Easter. The goal has to be specific and has to have a target date for completion, otherwise it is wishful thinking.
Secondly, all the experts recommended planning meals ahead. They suggested eating five small meals a day. To get started and to build good habits, they advised planning the week’s meals, all thirty five of them, at the beginning of the week. This will reduce the likelihood of finding yourself hungry with nothing in the fridge and making some less than good eating decisions.

4. Visualise your Achievements
Imagine in your mind how you will look and feel, and the life you will be living when you achieve your goal. How will you know you have achieved your goal unless you have determined what success means to you. So, take 10 minutes when you know you are not going to be disturbed and daydream about what you will look like when you have achieved your goal. Be specific. Writing out this description will make your goal seem much more real. Review what you have written every day and connect with your image of the new you. Connect with how achieving this result will make you feel. What will you be doing differently? What will you be saying and thinking when you have achieved your goal?

5. Measure your Results
To manage anything you have to be able to measure it. This is true in business, it is also true with diets. A simple technique is to get yourself a notebook. Each day write into your notebook what positive actions you are taking to make progress. It might be going for a walk or eating a salad for lunch. Also note what you are doing less of to reduce weight. For example, note that you didn’t have desert after dinner or resisted the cappuccino after lunch. If you want to note what the scales is telling you on a weekly basis or simply writing down how you are feeling, than that is also useful.

6. Who else benefits?
One of the findings from speaking with the nutrition experts that surprised me was learning that their primary focus was not on themselves. They wanted to be the best they could be in the areas of health and nutrition to be an example to others, to inspire other people to make healthier choices. It wasn’t just about them. If you think about it, don’t we always do more for other people than we do for ourselves? If you can embark on living a healthier lifestyle in tandem with a friend or partner, then you can give each other support and encouragement as you go along.

7. Resisting Temptation – what to do when the going gets tough
It was Oscar Wilde who said ‘I can resist everything except temptation.’ One of the areas that I wanted to get specific knowledge on when I spoke with the nutrition experts was how did they cope with resisting temptation. That moment when your hand is on the packet of crisps, or you make the decision to order a chocolate desert. What was interesting is that they all approached this in the same way and it wasn’t what I might have thought beforehand.
When tempted to eat unhealthily, they remembered a time in the past when they over-indulged. Perhaps after Christmas lunch or when they had a few too many drinks. They associated with this past memory, that is, they experienced it again on the inside, how they felt, what they saw, what they said to themselves. Some would then think about what it is they wanted to achieve, so they would have a contrast between the two extremes.
So if you overindulged over Christmas you can use that sense of bloatedness as a motivating factor for overcoming temptation.
All the experts said that aiming for 100% perfection in this area is a recipe (again pardon the pun) for disaster. It is what you do 80% of the time that matters. Going from four lattes a day to none is extreme. Going from four to two to one over a few weeks is steady progress.

8. Persistence
How long do you stick with something difficult before you give up? For many people in today’s immediate gratification society, if something doesn’t happen easily, they will not persevere. In a study carried out over a 10 year period in the US by The National Metabolic and Longevity Research Center they found that persistence is the single most important aspect of any diet or fitness program. The study followed a group of people (Group A) who exercised and dieted very strictly, but sporadically and compared those results with a second group (Group B) who exercised mildly and followed a very basic diet, but this group never varied from their routine. Even though Group B exercised and dieted far less (but did so persistently) they got 68% better results than those who exercised and dieted strictly but infrequently.

As the saying goes ‘if nothing changes then everything stays the same.’ This is true for our thoughts as well as our actions. Wouldn’t now be a good time to start making those changes? The above eight strategies work, I use them myself. But remember, knowledge is only potential power you have to take action to reap the rewards of your knowledge.

James Sweetman is the author of Graduate to Success and is a leading authority on Peak Performance. If you are ready to step into your potential, visit www.jamessweetman.com

New Tears Resolutions

2010-12-29T12:48:00.003Z

The New Year stretches before us like 365 blank pages of a personal diary. What will be written on those pages by this time next year? Will it be a tale of health, wealth, romance and wondrous prosperity? Or will those pages tell a story of misery, sorrow and sadness?

There's only one thing for sure... whatever is written on those pages will be authored by you and me! Isn't that neat? Just think... each of us is writing our own personal action adventure... and... . . . . We Can Make It Come Out Anyway We Want!

The above words were written by Neil Asher on his blog, and don't they just ring true? As we approach the start of a New Year, we all have the opportunity to start afresh, to turn over a new leaf, to be everything we wanted to be. The possibilities are endless, limited only by our own imagination, and self-imposed obstacles.

What is stopping you moving ahead, moving forward, being what you want to be?

What boundaries are you placing in your own way? What patterns of thinking or behaviour are inhibiting you from being your best?

Its a New Year again, when many of us contemplate making changes in our life. For some, these will be minor alterations, whilst others may be considering more major changes. Commonly these changes involve shifts in behaviour (such as deciding to lose weight, to stop smoking, to take more exercise or to change direction in our careers or relationships). Often these changes have been germinating in our conscious or unconscious mind for some time, and a New Year offers us the opportunity psychologically to make a new start.

Research suggests there are three groups which people belong to when considering changing their behaviour, which broadly speaking can be categorised as:

non-contemplators: this group are generally happy with their lot, and see no need to change. This may be due to lack of insight, lack of motivation or being genuinely satisfied with their life and lifestyle at this time

pre-contemplators: this group have occasional (and perhaps increasing) pangs of guilt or dissatisfaction with their current situation, and would like certain things to be different. However, these insights are fleeting and have not yet become sufficiently irritating or disturbing to convert into the action required to change

contemplators: This group have reached the point where they are ready to take positive action to change. They are sufficiently dissatisfied with their current situation to make positive behavioural changes. This group are the prime focus of campaigns aimed at Smoking cessation etc at this time of year.

If you have reached the point where you are motivated to change, how might you improve your chances of success? The pointers outlined below may be useful to you at this time.

Plan: Think through the change you wish to make in a rational way. Consider the implications of what you need to do in practical terms. What impact will this change have on your 'significant others'? What action will you take to replace the existing behaviour with a more positive alternative?
Be Practical: In most cases, the behaviour or habit you are trying to break has taken years to evolve, and become embedded as a significant part of your life over a long period of time. Don't expect that it will be easy to change overnight.
Be Positive: Start out with a positive determination to succeed.
Start Small: Whilst for some, the 'big bang' approach is appropriate, for many others setting small, short term targets that are achievable is more effective. Starting with a number of small successes can be the building blocks necessary to maintain and sustain the change in behaviour you are trying to make. Think Evolution rather than Revolution!!
Reward Yourself: Celebrate success and openly acknowledge the progress you are making. Obviously the rewards should be genuinely earned, and appropriate - opting for a chocolate cake 'reward' in the midst of a weight loss regime might be best avoided!
Lapses: Accept that there will inevitably be setbacks along the way, and plan for these. Don't allow these to be the excuse to fall back into old, established patterns of behaviour. When lapses happen - and they will happen - start again with renewed vigour. View lapses as diversions on your road to success, and don't get derailed from your ultimate goal.
Involving Others: No man is an island. Consider involving family, friends and/or colleagues in your quest for success. Others can provide support and encouragement when your willpower is wavering. Knowing others are aware of your goals may provide you with the extra impetus to succeed, if only to prove to them you can do it!

Finally, be clear that all change is difficult, and requires patience and perserverance (as are all things that are worth having). Remember, the Price of Persistence is always less than the Pain of Regret . Why not make that your motto for the weeks and months ahead?

Make that change, and take that first step by contacting EPM Consulting (www.epmconsulting.eu) for Personal, Executive & Lifestyle Coaching. To assist you (or a friend), and to reduce the financial pain of making this committment, EPM Consulting have a limited offer available to first 10 people to e-mail Patrick at info@epmconsulting.eu, with 'New Year Offer' as the subject line

Handling Challenging Conversations with Confidence

2010-11-04T16:16:00.002Z

This article was originally published in the Nov 2010 edition Ignite Magazine, produced by the Ken Blanchard Companies, and has been reproduced in full from http://www.kenblanchard.com/Business_Leadership/Management_Leadership_Newsletter/November2010_main_article/. Whilst this article has a firm business focus, similar principles can be applied to difficult conversations within our personal lives.

Most managers feel some reluctance when faced with having challenging conversations, according to Eryn Kalish, mediator, conflict resolution expert, and co-author of The Ken Blanchard Companies' Challenging Conversations program.

When this happens, a manager will sometimes shut down or withdraw from a situation instead of confronting it directly. While this strategy may keep the lid on a situation in the short term, the long-term damage is usually substantial with drops in productivity and morale due to ongoing conflict and disagreement. Whether the topic is delivering a difficult message, giving tough performance feedback, or confronting insensitive behavior, managers need to step into the “uncomfortableness.”

“Many people have been taught to avoid or gloss over difficult issues,” explains Kalish.

“Sometimes they are afraid that if they have these conversations they will make the situation worse. So managers will often avoid confronting situations hoping that by suppressing or ignoring the ‘negative’ feelings and thoughts that they will somehow go away. But it rarely gets better on its own and pretty soon the entire team is breaking down and the problem is much larger.”

The result can be damaged relationships, stalled projects, or just employees without much passion for their work.

“If an issue becomes a crisis, decisions are then made with very incomplete information. So the wisdom gets lost because people are then so triggered that you’re dealing with the situation at a time when everybody is really overheated and really upset.”

The fast-paced demands of today’s workplace make it increasingly important for managers to be able to effectively address sensitive subjects in the workplace. That’s one of the reasons why Kalish believes it is important for managers to create a safe space for people to have those conversations and address suppressed issues.

A 5-Step Process for Managers
To help improve their skills in dealing with challenging conversations, Kalish teaches managers how to speak up without alienating the other person and how to listen even if they are “triggered” by what they are hearing.

The concepts are easily understandable, explains Kalish, but it is something that’s challenging emotionally to practice. For managers just getting started, there are five skills Kalish recommends as a way of feeling comfortable and being open to others' feelings.

1.Stating concerns directly.
Speak up in a way that doesn't alienate other people. Understand how to get at the essence of what's important.

2.Probing for more information to gain a deeper understanding. Learn how to get more information from someone who might be hesitant to talk. Learn how to gently, but firmly, probe and get somebody to speak out when it is going to serve them and the situation.

3.Engaging others through whole-hearted listening.
Be able to listen even when it is uncomfortable. Learn how to work with your reactions so that you can focus and understand what the other person is saying.

4.Attending to body language.
Pay attention to body language and be able to spot discrepancies between what you are hearing and what you are seeing. How many times have you been sitting in a meeting when somebody said everything was fine but his or her body language was saying that it is clearly not? Avoid the temptation to say, “Oh, good, everything is ok. Let's move on.”

5.Keeping forward focused, but only when everybody is ready to move forward.
This can be a challenge for managers with a natural and usually positive bias for action. Learn to resist the urge to move forward prematurely. In challenging conversations the real issues often don’t come to light at first, and they can seep out in unhealthy ways later on.

More Communication, Not Less
During uncertain times it is important to increase your support of people.

As Kalish explains, “How are we going to work with all of the challenges we face today if people are all bottled up and frozen in fear or anger, or feeling like they might lash out? We need people to be vibrant and enthusiastic. Let’s not lose that connection with others or that connection to our own vibrancy. We need it now to liberate the energy that we all want and need to be productive and successful.”

One of the greatest skills managers can have today is how to listen well—both to their own thoughts and instincts as well as to the other person in order to really understand his or her point of view and perspective.

For managers willing to step up to the challenge, the results can be far-reaching, including quicker resolution of performance issues, better work relationships, fewer grievances, reduced tension, and fewer corporate crises.

Even in the most difficult of times, people can work together with colleagues in a way that is transformational. Start today by looking at ways to increase the frequency and quality of the conversations that are occurring within your organization.

Happiness & Positive Psychology

2010-09-15T19:52:00.001Z

Positive Psychology’s primary focus is on what people do right to obtain and maintain optimum happiness (Compton, 2005), by striving to understand and help people develop qualities that lead to greater personal fulfilment. The premise of positive psychology is to promote factors that allow individuals to thrive and flourish by encouraging a change of focus in psychology from a preoccupation with repairing the worst things to a greater emphasis on discovering and building upon positive qualities.

The concept of happiness is the corner stone of the assumptions of positive psychology. Happiness is characterised by the experience of more frequent positive affective states than negative ones as well as a perception that one is progressing toward important life goals (Tkach & Lyubomirsky, 2006). Identifying factors that contribute to happiness has proven to be challenging. Interestingly though, one thing that does stand out in the research to date is that the attainment and pursuit of pleasure may not always lead to happiness.

Certain kinds of environmental factors or conditions have been found to be associated with happiness and include such things as; individual income, labour market status, health, family, social relationships, moral values and many others (Carr, 2004; Selim, 2008; Diener, Oishi & Lucas, 2003). Ultimately, in the pursuit of understanding happiness, there are two main theoretical perspectives which focus on addressing the question of what makes people feel good and happy. These are the hedonic and eudaimonic approaches to happiness (Keyes, Shmotkin, & Ryff, 2002).

Hedonic well-being is based on the notion that increased pleasure and decreased pain leads to happiness. Hedonic concepts are based on the notion of subjective well-being. Subjective well-being is ascientific term that is commonly used to denote the ‘happy or good life’. It comprises of an affective component (high positive affect and low negative affect) and a cognitive component (satisfaction with life). It is proposed that an individual experiences happiness when positive affect and satisfaction with life are both high (Carruthers & Hood, 2004).

Eudaimonic well-being, on the other hand, is strongly reliant on Maslow’s ideas of self actualisation and Roger’s concept of the fully functioning person and their subjective well being. Eudaimonic happiness is therefore based on the premise that people feel happy if they experience life purpose, challenges and growth. This approach adopts Self-Determination Theory to conceptualise happiness (Keyes et al., 2002; Deci & Ryan, 2000). Self determination theory suggests that happiness is related to fulfilment in the areas of autonomy and competence.

From this perspective, by engaging in eudaimonic pursuits, subjective well being (happiness) will occur as a by product. Thus, life purpose and higher order meaning are believed to produce happiness. It appears that the general consensus is that happiness does not result from the pursuit of pleasure but from the development of individual strengths and virtues which ties in with the concept of positive psychology (Vella-Brodrick, Park & Peterson, 2009). The differences between eudaimonic and hedonic happiness are listed below:

Hedonic (Subjective Wellbeing)

- Presence of positive mood
- Absence of negative mood
- Satisfaction with various domains of life (e.g. work, leisure)
- Global life satisfaction

Eudaimonic (Psychological Wellbeing)

- Sense of control or autonomy
- Feeling of meaning and purpose
- Personal expressiveness
- Feelings of belongingness
- Social contribution
- Competence
- Personal growth
- Self acceptance

Positive Psychology views happiness from both the hedonistic and eudaimonic view in which they define happiness in terms of the pleasant life, the good life and the meaningful life (Norrish & Vella-Brodrick, 2008). Peterson et al., identified three pathways to happiness from the positive psychological view:

1. Pleasure is the process of maximising positive emotion and minimising negative emotion and is referred to as the pleasant life which involves enjoyable and positive experiences.

2. Engagement is the process of being immersed and absorbed in the task at hand and is referred to as the good life which involves being actively involved in life and all that it requires and demands. Thus the good life is considered to result from the individual cultivating and investing their signature strengths and virtues into their relationships, work and leisure (Seligman, 2002), thus applying the best of self during challenging activities that results in growth and a feeling of competence and satisfaction that brings about happiness.

3. Meaning is the process of having a higher purpose in life than ourselves and is referred to as the meaningful life which involves using our strengths and personal qualities to serve this higher purpose. The meaningful life, like the good life, involves the individual applying their signature strengths in activities, but the difference is that these activities are perceived to contribute to the greater good in the meaningful life.

Ultimately, it is a combination of each of these three elements described above that positive psychology suggests would constitute authentic and stable happiness (Vella-Brodrick, Park & Peterson, 2009; Carruthers & Hood, 2004).

Flow and happiness

Another key contribution positive psychology has made to our understanding of the qualities and attributes of well-being is in the concept of flow. Flow is defined as an optimal state of engagement, happiness and peak experience that occurs when an individual is absorbed in an intrinsically motivating challenge (Norrish & Vella-Brodrick, 2008). Flow is typically characterised by being immersed in a specific activity that incorporates the following elements:

1. Concentration toward the task at hand that appears effortless and is not associated with mental strain or aggressive efforts to repress or control thinking (Vella-Brodrick, Park & Peterson, 2009),

2. Involvement in the task to the point where there is no need to think about what needs to be done before it is done (Vella-Brodrick, Park & Peterson, 2009), and

3. Enjoyment through being involved in and doing the specific activity (Vella-Brodrick, Park & Peterson, 2009).

The state of flow has been implicated in the pathways to happiness and thus expands further the concept of happiness beyond the pleasure state. To conclude on the influence of flow Csikszentmihalyi (1990) suggests that happiness is brought on by the experience of flow that allows people to enjoy life and function better in a number of different contexts (click here to watch Csikszentmihalyi’s TED Talk on Flow).

Personality Traits and Happiness

Personality studies indicate that happy and unhappy people have distinctive personality profiles. For example, happy people tend to be more extraverted, optimistic and usually have high self esteem. Happiness is also considered to be an emotion produced by positive and negative events and experiences (Selim, 2008). Interestingly, a number of reports have shown that extraverted individuals are happier than introverted individuals in the context of a broad range of life experiences (Carr, 2004; Tkach & Lyubomirsky, 2006; Furnham & Christoforou, 2007).

This has been attributed to the idea that extraverts react more strongly to positive stimuli designed to induce positive emotions when compared to introverts. Extraverts are also reported to have a better fit with their social environment that may trigger positive emotions of happiness. As such, extraverts are more likely to experience happiness than introverts who may not thrive in similar social settings (Furnham & Christoforou, 2007; Carr, 2004).

Happiness has also shown to be associated with easy sociability that involves natural, pleasant interaction with other people, another attribute typical of the extravert. Happiness of extraverts can be partially explained by their choice of enjoyable situations while those that are socially unskilled (e.g. introverts) may avoid such situations.

In contrast, unhappy people tend to have high levels of neuroticism. Neuroticism is the tendency to be vulnerable to feelings of anxiety and depression when faced with potentially stressful situations. Thus unhappy people are believed to be more reactive to unpleasant emotional stimuli compared to happier counterparts under the same conditions (Diener, Oishi & Lucas, 2003). Hofer, Busch and Kiessling (2008) support this point of view in stating that neuroticism is negatively associated with subjective well being (happiness) while openness to experience, agreeableness, extraversion and conscientiousness are positively related to subjective well being (happiness).

Biology of Happiness

This view purports that Individuals are born with the genetic makeup to be either "very” happy, reasonably content, or chronically dissatisfied. Positive emotions have been shown to coincide with higher levels of activity on the left side of the brain's prefrontal lobes. A key player seems to be the neurotransmitter dopamine, which carries “feel good” messages between brain cells. High levels of dopamine have been implicated in feelings of happiness while low levels may result in feelings of depression.

Lykken and Tellegen (1996) concluded from their study of twins that most people have an average level of happiness or a “set point” that is innate in them and therefore independent of environmental factors. They suggest that after we adjust to the effects of temporary highs and lows in emotionality (for example, happiness and sadness) we return to our biological “set point”. While it is understood that very intense feelings of joy or sadness may keep people off their “set point” for somewhat longer periods, it is believed that eventually every one returns to their baseline level of well being that is believed to be set by genetics (Compton, 2005).

From the biological perspective, depending on an individual’s genes, some people may have a natural enthusiasm for life, deriving pleasure from ordinary activities, or may require unusual adventures. But regardless of what makes us happy, a quiet walk or a jungle safari, after the initial high, we return to our happiness set-point regulated by our level of dopamine. For some people it is suggested that their set point may lean towards positive emotionality (high level of dopamine) whereby they will tend to be cheerful most of the time. Those with a set point directed more towards negative emotionality (low dopamine) will tend to gravitate toward varying degrees of pessimism and anxiety. It is also proposed that the biologically-programmed set-point isn't really a point, it's a range.

In this context we can influence this rage thus being able to alter our “set point” by creating an environment that is more conducive to feelings of happiness. That is why factors such as family environment, education level, and cultural factors all have an impact on an individual’s sense of happiness and wellbeing (Compton, 2005). Thus, rather than being a carte blanche on the individual’s state of happiness, the biological view still considers environmental factors to be an influence on the more enduring trait of happiness but only within the confines of a set-point range.

Happiness and Culture

When it comes to happiness, culture is considered to play a significant role. Researchers have concluded that most people across the globe do desire some form and degree of happiness. But that pursuit of happiness varies greatly depending on one's culture and circumstances (Carr, 2004). For example, very poor nations and those in dramatic political change invariably report the lowest levels of subjective well-being. Conversely, many of the wealthy and democratic Scandinavian countries consistently report the highest levels of happiness.

But a culture can also be poor in resources and rich in happiness as well. Latin American nations, for example, appear to have a more positive orientation and value happiness more than other countries (Maddux, 2004). At the other end of the scale, East Asian and African nations often place other values ahead of happiness, such as mastery and pleasing one's family or group (Carr, 2004).

Thus, how we individually define and experience happiness has as much to do with our cultural influences as it does with our personality, biological dispositions, personal goals and other individual factors. What this means is that while most people in practically every society will likely desire some form of well-being (both psychologically and physically), what they value will greatly determine what shape that pursuit of happiness is and what it will look like once acquired.

Because of such cultural variance in what factors contribute to high levels of happiness and well-being, it must be concluded that there are more determinants to happiness beyond the scope of what positive psychology currently understands. What is perhaps important to understand is that each culture finds its own sources of well-being and maximises these by building from their own cultural resources to pursue their own individual happiness.

Authentic Happiness

Positive psychology uses the term authentic happiness to describe the combination of behaviours that constitutes happiness and a good life. Authenticity in this context refers to both the ability to recognise and take responsibility for one’s own psychological experiences and the ability to act in ways that are consistent with those experiences. Authentic happiness is thought to derive from the identification and cultivation of signature strengths and virtues (Robbins, 2009).

Thus, authentic happiness suggests that we all have signature strengths that we use in challenging times to bring about change. The idea is that individuals should focus on their strengths and not their weaknesses in order to attain authentic happiness. The focus is on drawing on those strengths and using them as tools to maximise meaningful life. Greater authenticity was also linked to less depression and less perceived stress and fewer complaints of physical problems, creating a conducive climate for happiness (Compton, 2005).

Seligman (2002) differentiates between strengths and talents as they are often confused in the identification of individual signature strengths. It is suggested that strengths are moral traits while talents are innate. Talents are said to be relatively automatic whereas strengths are more voluntary. Although talent does not involve a choice about possessing it, there is a choice of whether to burnish it and where to deploy it. Strength on the other hand involves choices about when to use it and whether to keep building it (Seligman, 2002).

It is argued that signature strengths are built from the discovery and ownership of the strengths that an individual already possess. Seligman and his colleagues have identified 24 signature strengths and 6 virtues that are believed to be necessary for one to attain the authentic happiness.

Source: www.mentalhealthacademy.com.au

Psychometric Testing

2010-08-05T21:20:00.003Z

Measuring attributes like height, weight, and strength is reasonably simple. These are all physical and observable traits that you can assess objectively. But what about factors that aren't so easy to measure?

Traits such as personality, intelligence, attitude, and beliefs are important characteristics to measure and assess. Whether you're hiring people, helping team members understand themselves and their relationships with others, or trying to figure out what you want to do with your life, it's useful to assess these types of "hidden" attributes.

Psychometric testing can assess "hidden" traits objectively.
One way to gather this information is through psychometric testing. This article from Mindtools (www.mindtools.com) looks at what psychometric tests are, what they measure, and how they can help you in both recruiting staff and developing your own career.

What Are Psychometric Tests?
Psychometric tests include personality profiles, reasoning tests, motivation questionnaires, and ability assessments. These tests try to provide objective data for otherwise subjective measurements.
For example, if you want to determine someone's attitude, you can ask the person directly, observe the person in action, or even gather observations about the person from other people. However, all of these methods take time, and can be affected by personal bias and perspective. By using a psychometric test, you make best use of interviewers' time, as well as making a more objective and impartial judgment.
Since objectivity is key to using these assessments, a good psychometric test provides fair and accurate results each time it's given. To ensure this, the test must meet these three key criteria:

Standardisation – The test must be based on results from a sample population that's truly representative of the people who'll be taking the test. You can't realistically test every working person in a country. But you can test a representative sample of that group, and then apply the results to the specific people whom you test.

Also, a standardized test is administered the same way every time to help reduce any test bias. By using a standardized test, you can compare the results with anyone whose characteristics are similar to those of the sample group.

Reliability – The test must produce consistent results, and not be significantly influenced by outside factors. For instance, if you're feeling stressed when you take the test, the test results shouldn't be overly different from times when you were excited or relaxed.

Validity – This is perhaps the most important quality of a test. A valid test has to measure what it's intended to measure. If a test is supposed to measure a person's interests, then it must clearly demonstrate that it does actually measure interests, and not something else that's just related to interests.

Note:
Psychometrics is the study of educational and psychological measurements. The adjective "psychometric" is used to describe psychological tests (typically those used in educational and occupational settings) that are standardized as well as proven to be reliable and valid measures of areas such as personality, ability, aptitude, and interest.

Beyond these criteria, effective psychometric tests must be relevant to the modern workplace. Before using one of these tests, make sure the test has been validated and updated recently.

What Do Psychometric Tests Measure?
Psychometric tests can measure interests, personality, and aptitude.
Interest tests measure how people differ in their motivation, values, and opinions in relation to their interests.

Personality tests measure how people differ in their style or manner of doing things, and in the way they interact with their environment and other people.
Aptitude tests measure how people differ in their ability to perform or carry out different tasks.

Advantages of Psychometric Tests
Psychometric tests can help to make personnel and career-related assessments more objective.
These tests also save a great deal of time. They're typically very easy to administer, and they can be given to a group of people easily. (Some other types of assessments must be given individually.) Psychometric tests are also easily scored, so results come back quickly and reliably.
Many of these tests are completed using software programs, and some can even be completed online. This, again, provides a time advantage, and it can reduce costs significantly compared to other methods. People can take the tests from anywhere, and the results are accurately scored each time.

Using Psychometric Tests
Psychometric tests can be used for a variety of purposes. Some of the most common uses are as follows:
Selection of personnel - Here, tests can help recruiters and hiring managers determine candidates who best fit a position. Personality, aptitude, and knowledge tests are all very common in this type of testing situation. For a detailed discussion of these types of tests and how to use them for hiring, see our article on Using Recruitment Tests.

Individual development and training - Psychometric tests can help you determine how best to improve current skills and performance. For example, if your department is going to introduce a new type of technology, it might be helpful to assess people on their interests and motivations related to new technology. The Business Attitude Inventory and the California Measure of Mental Motivation are psychometric tests available for training and development purposes. You could also use aptitude and skills tests to determine a person's ability to perform certain tasks.
Team building and development - This area can provide many uses for psychometric tests. The better people understand themselves and others, the better they can build and maintain positive workplace relationships. Tests like FIRO-B, DiSC, and the Hogan Development Survey are designed specifically to uncover potential sources of relationship tension. General personality assessments, including the Myers-Briggs Typology Indicator (MBTI) and the California Personality Inventory (CPI), are also very helpful for team building and strengthening . The Values in Action test can help you gain insights into group behaviours and dynamics that relate to people's values.

Career development and progression - Psychometric tests can help you uncover values and interests that are fundamental to overall career satisfaction. For those starting out in their careers and those who are looking for the right career path, interest surveys like the Holland Code Assessment and Schein's Career Anchors Questionnaire are also useful psychometric tests to consider.

Note:
There are costs involved in purchasing tests as well as in hiring or training someone to administer and evaluate them. It's important to consider these costs against the advantages that the tests may bring.

Key Points

Assessing and appraising people is a highly complex and subjective process, and psychometric tests are a good way of objectively assessing people's "hidden" traits.

From recruitment to long-term career development, these tests provide a great deal of reliable information to make important personnel decisions. If you use the tests, ensure that they are appropriate for you needs, and that they've been rigorously evaluated.

Overcoming Obstacles

2010-05-28T19:48:00.005Z

This article from Jack Canfield (2010) asks . . .What stands between you and what you most desire?

Your answers might relate to a lack of money, time, support from family, or all of these. Obstacles can seem so numerous, so obvious, and so tough to change.
You can relate to obstacles in many ways. Typical responses are to explain them or resist them.
Both responses take a lot of time and energy. And both anchor you firmly in the past, keeping your focus on areas of your life that are not working.

To immediately generate alternatives, remember a simple analogy...
Imagine that you’re driving down a scenic highway. Suddenly you come to a huge rock in the middle of the road.
At this moment you have several options. You could try to explain how the rock ended up there. You could also go into resistance mode, complaining about the carelessness of highway construction or the lack of state funding for rock removal.
Or, you could bypass all this negativity and remove the obstacle from your life at once. Instead of explaining the rock or resisting it, just drive around it.

When faced with obstacles, people often respond with questions based on explanation and resistance, such as:
- Why am I so alone?
- Why does this always happen to me?
- Why am I such a failure?

However, you always have another option. You can ask questions that help you drive around any obstacle in your life.
Questions have uncanny power. Questions direct your attention— and along with it, how you think and how you feel. If you want to create different thoughts, feelings, and results into your life, then ask different questions.

Start now by skipping the why questions and begin asking what questions, such as:
1) What’s the lesson here?
There’s an old saying about learning from experience: Beware the person with twenty years of experience. This may consist of one year of learning and nineteen years of repetition.
The point is that experiences do not come prepackaged with empowering lessons. Everything hinges on how you interpret experiences, and your interpretations can change over the years. A single event can take you a step closer to emotional contraction or expansion. It all depends on how you interpret that event.
Psychologist Martin Seligman has made a career by studying how human beings interpret their experience. He notes that each of us has an explanatory style. People who chronically feel helpless tend to explain events in ways that are:
Permanent: “I always get confused when trying to learn something new.”
Personal: “I’m just no good at meeting people.”
Pervasive: “I’m just the kind of person who fails to follow through, no matter what kind of goals I set.”
Optimistic people use a different style. They explain events in ways that are:
Temporary: “When I feel confused, I ask questions that lead me to understanding.”
External: “I find it hard to talk to people in bars, so I invite them to quiet restaurants instead.”
Specific: “I find it challenging to meet long-term goals, so for now I will focus on achieving short-term objectives.”
You should interpret these obstacles as yield signs rather than stop signs.
These are signals that the world is expanding to accommodate your growth. Instead of resisting a challenge, just lean into it. Ask yourself: How can I interpret this event in a more powerful way? What’s a positive lesson that’s waiting here to be learned?

2) What’s great about having this problem?
There’s an easy answer to this question: “Nothing!” However, looking beyond that knee-jerk response can quickly open up your perspective.
Tony Robbins offers an example in his book Awakening the Giant Within. He recalls a time when he’d been on the road for nearly 100 days out of 120. Returning to his office, he found a stack of urgent memos and a list of 100 phone calls that he needed to personally return. Before making these discoveries, he was tired. Now he felt exhausted.
Tony managed to shift his internal state simply by asking: What’s great about having this problem? He then realized that just a few years ago he would have been grateful to get calls from twenty people—let alone one hundred people with national reputations.
This insight was enough to break his pattern of frustration. He found himself feeling grateful that so many people he loved and respected were willing to connect with him.

3) What’s my next action?
This question shines a spotlight on solutions. No matter what happens, you can choose what to say and do in response. Rather than manifesting resistance or explanation, you can choose your next action.
Successful people hold a bias for action. Add inspiration and intention to the mix, and you gain an unstoppable momentum.

Change begins with Choice

2010-04-05T11:23:00.004Z

The following is an excerpt of a statement by Jim Rhone, which may have some resonance for you . . . .

"Any day we wish; we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish; we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish; we can start a new activity. Any day we wish; we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year. We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are.

We can choose rest over labour, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespeare uniquely observed, "The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves." We created our circumstances by our past choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today.

Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions. They need the truth. They need the whole truth. And they need nothing but the truth.

We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path. We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how our life works out. And then we must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into our daily lives.

And if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life - If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree. You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life - and it all begins with your very own power of choice."

Are you ready to make that 'key' choice to change? Why not contact us at info@epmconsulting.eu so we can help you make it happen!

The Philosophy of the Mayonnaise Jar

2010-03-03T19:24:00.000Z

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
When 24 hours in a day is not enough;
remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and start to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again
if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand
and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else
He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded
With an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table
and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - Family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions
Things that if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --
The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are
important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time
to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand
and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.

'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Lets Get . . . . . . Motivated

2010-02-23T19:01:00.000Z

By Jenetta Haim, courtesy of www.thinkbigmagazine.com. For more information check out her website at www.stressfreemanagement.com.au

Do you have control of your thinking or does your thinking have control of you? Often it is the latter. How many times have you had good intentions, decided to go for that interview, apply for that promotion, start that business and then deflated like a rubber doll back into your shell?

Do you have control of your thinking or does your thinking have control of you? Often it is the latter. How many times have you had good intentions, decided to go for that interview, apply for that promotion, start that business and then deflated like a rubber doll back into your shell?

It happens to the best of us and it's important to keep our thinking positive if we want to remain motivated. Positive thinking encourages healthy behavior such as eating properly, exercising and generally being happier with life in the office, socially and on a personal level. It all comes down to what you believe. If you believe in yourself and envision what you can do then you have the capability to make it happen. It's called manifesting.

Unfortunately the reverse is also true. If you believe you will fail, can't afford it, will lose that job then you most likely will. It's called the law of attraction. What you think attracts the same. When you get onto a negative thought trend you usually find a number of things to be negative about and start the roller coaster. It is that kind of negative self talk that can sabotage even the best of our intentions.

The confidence you have in performing a certain behavior is called self-efficacy and it is this that can be used to change your behaviour. Many successful people reach their goals due to coaching in positive thinking. If this has helped them then it can do the same for you. It all starts with believing in yourself that you CAN do it! If you can't do this for yourself then maybe a coach for a while will help. They can teach you how you can choose to think positive instead of negative and this will help you to feel better about yourself. They can also teach you skills in how to relax and de-stress, manage your time better, get in touch with your goals and use these to build on your career and personal life.

It is important to build small goals which are achievable and reward yourself when you do achieve them. Remember that sometimes it's ok to step backwards before you move forward. Look at the behaviours that sabotage you. Do you use the excuse of traveling for business to slacken off in your nutrition and exercise or do you have one too many cigarettes using the excuse of being tired and too many meetings? All this will affect you in a negative way and impact on your personal and business life.

Whichever it is, be honest with yourself and look at how you behave. Take a minute to consider how you might have handled things differently if things didn't go well at that last meeting. It's important not to beat yourself up about it. What is in the past can't be changed but you can learn from it and manifest a more promising future. Maybe you could have shared a business dinner at a restaurant instead of eaten at that greasy take-away? Make a mental note of what needs to change.

It is important to admit when you feel frustrated or depressed and not to ignore it. It is also important not to go into overwhelm. This makes you less productive. Understand your negative thoughts and feelings and replace them with more positive ones. So what does it take to keep you positive?

Is there someone out there that is doing what you want to be doing? Look at them as a mentor. It might entail watching how they communicate so you can communicate better or simply bringing changes to your personal lifestyle. Look at what they do, ask them how they do it and you start to do it.

Use positive head talk and avoid negative talk. Take a minute to look at all the things you do RIGHT. Tell yourself you can do it and when you get negative tell yourself you are not that person anymore and you don't have to choose to even go there. You are not the same person who lost the client last week. That was that particular client. Now is a new week. A new client and you have had millions of thoughts and feelings and inputs since then. You will never be that person again and you don't have to go back there. Move on. Have the confidence that you can make positive changes and believe that you deserve to be happy.

Get support from colleagues, friends and family. Stay around people who will back you up instead of those that silently think 'there he goes again'.Reward yourself with that briefcase you wanted, the new mobile phone, or the bubble bath, massage, CD you have wanted to buy.

Make positive plans and schedule them in your diary. Plans to eat right, exercise, meet more friends for dinner, join a club, and take that difficult client to lunch to build rapport; whatever it takes. Write down those goals and it can become an action plan to keep you on track.

Most importantly remember that the things you feel you may have done wrong is what you 'know' you did wrong. If it was a presentation then your client does not even know what you were going to say so if you missed something it's not the end of the world. Build on your confidence and motivation each day and after a few months you will find that your goals have manifested themselves…funny how that happened!

The Language of the Heart

2010-02-11T21:36:00.001Z

Do you feel stressed and harassed during the day, like you're always doing things to please others rather than yourself?
• Do you have problems making decisions about insignificant matters?
• Are you unsure about what it is you really want?
• Do you find yourself doing things you really don’t want to do and continually acting out of obligation?

Part of being an adult is learning to put the needs of others, such as our children or employer, ahead of ourselves. But we can become so used to doing what we feel we should do, or living by the expectations of others that we lose touch with ourselves.
If we stop listening to our hearts voice, eventually we won't recognize it. Then we wonder why our life is so dry and un-spontaneous.

We need to re-open the conversation with our heart - to remember how to listen to our heart and not just our head.

How to recognise your hearts voice: when you're feeling stressed or that you feel you have lost your centre, ask yourself two questions,
1. “What am I feeling now?”
2. “I would like … ?”

Try to listen to the first thought – which will be from your heart –– not your head which comes in with chatter and rationalizing afterwards.
If the message from your heart is possible and practical – then do it, eg. take a break, call a friend, pop out for a coffee, jump up from your desk and shout “Yes!”.
If it is not realistic just note your hearts message until its convenient to follow through, but be careful – this habit is life changing!
Why not try following your heart and doing one spontaneous thing every day?

Handbook for 2010

2010-01-11T19:35:00.002Z

Thanks to Cynthia for forwarding this to me. Read on . . .you might just like it!

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not the least:
40. Please share this with everyone you care about . . . . I just did!

New Years Resolutions

2010-01-01T19:36:00.004Z

The New Year stretches before us like 365 blank pages of a personal diary. What will be written on those pages by this time next year? Will it be a tale of health, wealth, romance and wondrous prosperity? Or will those pages tell a story of misery, sorrow and sadness?

There's only one thing for sure... whatever is written on those pages will be authored by you and me! Isn't that neat? Just think... each of us is writing our own personal action adventure... and... . . . . We Can Make It Come Out Anyway We Want!

The above words were written by Neil Asher on his blog, and don't they just ring true? As we approach the start of a New Year, we all have the opportunity to start afresh, to turn over a new leaf, to be everything we wanted to be. The possibilities are endless, limited only by our own imagination, and self-imposed obstacles.

What is stopping you moving ahead, moving forward, being what you want to be?

What boundaries are you placing in your own way? What patterns of thinking or behaviour are inhibiting you from being your best?

Its a New Year again, when many of us contemplate making changes in our life. For some, these will be minor alterations, whilst others may be considering more major changes. Commonly these changes involve shifts in behaviour (such as deciding to lose weight, to stop smoking, to take more exercise or to change direction in our careers or relationships). Often these changes have been germinating in our conscious or unconscious mind for some time, and a New Year offers us the opportunity psychologically to make a new start.

Research suggests there are three groups which people belong to when considering changing their behaviour, which broadly speaking can be categorised as:

non-contemplators: this group are generally happy with their lot, and see no need to change. This may be due to lack of insight, lack of motivation or being genuinely satisfied with their life and lifestyle at this time

pre-contemplators: this group have occasional (and perhaps increasing) pangs of guilt or dissatisfaction with their current situation, and would like certain things to be different. However, these insights are fleeting and have not yet become sufficiently irritating or disturbing to convert into the action required to change

contemplators: This group have reached the point where they are ready to take positive action to change. They are sufficiently dissatisfied with their current situation to make positive behavioural changes. This group are the prime focus of campaigns aimed at Smoking cessation etc at this time of year.

If you have reached the point where you are motivated to change, how might you improve your chances of success? The pointers outlined below may be useful to you at this time.

Plan: Think through the change you wish to make in a rational way. Consider the implications of what you need to do in practical terms. What impact will this change have on your 'significant others'? What action will you take to replace the existing behaviour with a more positive alternative?
Be Practical: In most cases, the behaviour or habit you are trying to break has taken years to evolve, and become embedded as a significant part of your life over a long period of time. Don't expect that it will be easy to change overnight.
Be Positive: Start out with a positive determination to succeed.
Start Small: Whilst for some, the 'big bang' approach is appropriate, for many others setting small, short term targets that are achievable is more effective. Starting with a number of small successes can be the building blocks necessary to maintain and sustain the change in behaviour you are trying to make. Think Evolution rather than Revolution!!
Reward Yourself: Celebrate success and openly acknowledge the progress you are making. Obviously the rewards should be genuinely earned, and appropriate - opting for a chocolate cake 'reward' in the midst of a weight loss regime might be best avoided!
Lapses: Accept that there will inevitably be setbacks along the way, and plan for these. Don't allow these to be the excuse to fall back into old, established patterns of behaviour. When lapses happen - and they will happen - start again with renewed vigour. View lapses as diversions on your road to success, and don't get derailed from your ultimate goal.
Involving Others: No man is an island. Consider involving family, friends and/or colleagues in your quest for success. Others can provide support and encouragement when your willpower is wavering. Knowing others are aware of your goals may provide you with the extra impetus to succeed, if only to prove to them you can do it!

Finally, be clear that all change is difficult, and requires patience and perserverance (as are all things that are worth having). Remember, the Price of Persistence is always less than the Pain of Regret . Why not make that your motto for the weeks and months ahead?

Make that change, and take that first step by contacting EPM Consulting (www.epmconsulting.eu) for Personal, Executive & Lifestyle Coaching. To assist you (or a friend), and to reduce the financial pain of making this committment, EPM Consulting have a limited offer available to first 10 people to e-mail Patrick at info@epmconsulting.eu

Positive self-esteem

2009-12-15T19:15:00.003Z

Having a strong sense of self-esteem is a key part of feeling happy within ourselves, and of feeling that we're succeeding in things that matter.

Positive self-esteem helps you be yourself, handle adversity, and believe that you'll win through, despite setbacks. It's an inner force that sustains you, and gives you the courage you need to succeed. How do you "grade" yourself?

Low self-esteem does the opposite. It's connected to self-doubt, and to a general feeling that you're not quite good enough to meet life's challenges. In fact, low self-esteem is used to diagnose many mental disorders, and it can be associated with anxiety, sadness, hostility, loneliness, and a lack of spontaneity.

What Is Self-Esteem?

You're probably familiar with the idea of self-esteem. It's often associated with self-confidence, but self-esteem is more than just confidence - it goes deeper. In fact, some people argue that you can have self-confidence and still have low self-esteem - most notably if you approach life with a "fake it 'til you make it" attitude (in other words, "pretend" until you succeed).

Healthy self-esteem doesn't involve faking anything. And although there's significant debate over the definition of self-esteem, a leading theory is that it's a combination of two factors: competence and worthiness. Nathaniel Branden says the following in his book "The Psychology of Self-Esteem":
"Self-esteem has two interrelated aspects: it entails a sense of personal efficacy and a sense of personal worth. It is the integrated sum of self-confidence and self-respect. It is the conviction that one is competent to live and worthy of living."
To evaluate your own levels of self-esteem, complete the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale (SES) http://www.bsos.umd.edu/socy/research/rosenberg.htm. This is a 10-item scale developed by Dr. Morris Rosenberg. Even though it was developed as long ago as 1965, it's still a popular form of measurement used in self-esteem research.

Competence and Worthiness

The competence element of self-esteem deals with how far you believe that you have the skills and abilities you need to succeed in areas that matter to you.

This isn't generalized success. It's specific to areas of your life that are particularly important to you. For example, if you can sing and dance and entertain a crowd like no one else, that won't contribute to positive self-esteem if what you really value is academic success. Likewise, if you rise to the top of your profession, but you're not proud of that profession, it's unlikely that you'll feel a strong sense of self-esteem as a result.

It's this idea of "value" that brings us to the other element of self-esteem: worthiness. This is where you express your overall evaluation of yourself. It's based on your values, and on whether you behave in a way that is consistent with these values. Together, these factors influence whether you believe you're "good enough", and whether you like and respect the person you are.

By combining competence and worthiness, and by looking at how they relate to each other, we get a full and dynamic definition of self-esteem. Just feeling good about yourself isn't self-esteem. There has to be a competence element, so that your behaviors result in positive actions, not destructive ones. Too great a sense of worthiness can lead to conceit, and even narcissism. Healthy self-esteem keeps those things in balance.

Note:
Looking at self-esteem this way allows us to see the difference between healthy self-esteem and too much self-esteem, which can lead to aggressive and destructive behavior. Thinking that you're better than others can lead you to become arrogant and worse. And if your level of self-esteem is too far in advance of your abilities, you’re setting yourself up for failure, humiliation, frustration and anger. (In fact, some researchers link this with domestic violence.)

Improving Self-Esteem

Now that you know what self-esteem is, you're in a better position to improve yours in a robust and balanced way.

Here are some tips for improving your self-esteem:

Think about yourself positively: You are the only person who can change your view of yourself. No one else can give you self-esteem - you have to build it by thinking about all of the positive things in your life. Make sure that you get into the habit of positive thinking, and learn how to detect and defeat patterns of self-sabotage. Be your own best cheerleader and supporter!

Take pride in your accomplishments: When you do something well, celebrate it. Don't wait for someone else to tell you how wonderful you are: tell yourself!

Set goals: The more you achieve, the better you'll feel about yourself. Goal setting is a great technique for targeting, tracking and recognizing success. It helps you to build competence and, from this, build a sense of pride and a feeling of worthiness. Make sure that you embrace goal setting!

Be consistent: You improve self-esteem when you act in ways that are consistent with your values. If you find yourself in a compromising or difficult situation, do all that you can to make a decision that is consistent with these values. Achieve your goals with integrity, and don't undermine your self-esteem by cheating, or acting in a dishonest way.

Remember that you aren't perfect: Don't be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes, and that's often OK, just as long as we learn from them. The standards you have to meet are your own: stop worrying about what others think, and focus on the great things about yourself. If you do, your inner confidence will shine through, and more than compensate for any shortcomings you might have.

Look after yourself physically: Being active can improve self-esteem. Activities that improve your health help you feel more in control, and give you a sense of satisfaction that carries though to other areas of your life.
Key Points

The way you think is key to your sense of self-esteem. You're the one in control, and you can make a difference. If you like yourself, and believe that you deserve good things in life, you'll have high self-esteem. If you dislike yourself or criticize yourself excessively, you won't.

Having healthy self-esteem is important, because it helps you deal with life's challenges and achieve the things that matter most to you. As such, make a commitment to yourself to value what you do and who you are!

Article reproduced from Mindtools newsletter 142

Personality Type & Career Choice

2009-11-29T14:35:00.009Z

A thorough understanding of your personality type can be a tremendous guide that can help you to:

Choose a new job or career
Change your job or career
Increase your satisfaction with your present career

Your personality type can assist you in developing your career goals and establishing a process to reach those goals. When - using the People Process MBTI scoring matrix - you have identified your four-letter type, you can gain a thorough understanding of your strengths – your unique gifts.

The more you understand about yourself, the better your decisions will be and the more effectively you will be able to implement those decisions. Your personality preferences can help you decide what you want to do, how to approach that field and get what you want.

To briefly review, personality type theory was developed by Dr. Carl Jung in the early 1900s. Dr. Jung sought to explain the normal differences between healthy people. Jung espoused that the differences in people’s behavior was a result from people’s inborn tendencies to use their minds in different ways. As people act on these tendencies, they develop patterns of behavior.

We have different energy levels, notice different aspects of the world around us, make decisions based on different criteria and structure our lives in different ways depending on what makes us most comfortable. These characteristics combine to create the whole personality. Dr. Jung identified four dimensions that make up our personality type – and these are part of our DNA – they are inborn traits.

The four dimensions are: Energy, Information, Decision, Action, and are used by us hundreds of times a day. Each dimension consists of two opposite poles. Picture each dimension as a continuum with a mid-point in the center. Each of us has a natural inborn preference (strength) for one side of the continuum or the other in each of the four dimensions.

The People Process approach can also assist with understanding how other people should treat you.. This will give you insight into the types of work and surroundings that will be most fulfilling for you. For instance, if in the Energy behavior dimension you chose Introvert you will see that the way you prefer to be treated is:

Related to one-on-one
Have others Value your need for privacy
Be allowed time to change focus
Ask questions to draw them out
Do not be pressured for an instant response

This tells you that you like to work alone and don’t need a lot of supervision. You’re great at putting things together behind the scenes.

However, if you chose Extravert in the Energy behavior dimension, you’ll find that you like to have a lot of interaction with others and you want them to:

Listen attentively
Be actively responsive
Be energetic & enthusiastic
Support their need to communicate
Recognize their need for social interaction

Extraverts like to be able to bounce ideas off of others and get immediate feedback. They would be very frustrated working all alone in a cubicle on a project by themselves.

In the Information behavior dimension, if you chose Sensing as your preference, you’ll find that you have skills in dealing with facts and details and when receiving information from someone you prefer that they:

Be orderly and organized
Show facts with evidence
Be direct and to the point
Draw on your experience
Be practical because you are

If you chose Intuition in the Information behavior dimension, you are terrific at coming up with creative solutions, marketing direction and “out of the box” ideas and when receiving information you prefer they:

Give you an overview
Have a vision of the future
Appeal to your imagination
Encourage your need to explore
Allow for the expansion of ideas

When it comes to making a Decision, a Thinking person is logical, steps back and objectifies the decision, preferring to be treated this way:

Expect questions
Use logic
Be calm and reasonable
Be brief, concise, yet thorough
Present information for their analysis

A Feeling person personalizes decisions asking, “How does this affect me and the people involved?” This person likes you to remember to:

Be honest and sincere
Be personal and friendly
Share with them your feelings
Encourage them to share their feelings
Allow them time to know and trust you

In the Action behavior dimension, the Judging person likes to control their environment and prefers that you:

Don’t disturb their order
Be prepared and deliberate
Value their time because they do
Finalize whenever & wherever possible
Take their deadlines seriously

And, the Perceiving person values spontaneity above all and prefers that you:

Be open to options & changes
Use variety in your approach
Let them set their own deadlines
Make use of their resourcefulness
Encourage possibility-thinking

Does this give you an idea of how to approach finding out your strengths and preferred way of being treated so that you can decide on the career that best suits you? Continue analysing your strengths and preferred way of being treated by others. Once you have analyzed this information, identify the types of careers that include your preferences and strengths – the way you like to be treated and are most comfortable.

This article was adapted from an original article by the founder of the People Process, Pamela Hollister and has been reproduced with her personal permission. If you have any comments or feedback on this posting, please send these to me via the Comments tab below, as I have promised to share all feedback with Pam.

You will find additional information on personality profiling and related information on the following websites

www.personalitypathways.com
www.thepeopleprocess.com/articles.php
www.eiconsortium.org
www.eq.org
www.nlpinfo.com
www.neurolinguisticprogramming.com
www.enneagraminstitute.com
www.9types.com

Liking and the power of persuasion

2009-11-16T20:04:00.004Z

People prefer to say yes to individuals they know and like. This simple rule helps to understand how Liking can create influence and how compliance professionals may emphasize certain factors and/or attributes to increase their overall attractiveness and subsequent effectiveness. Compliance practitioners may regularly use several factors.

Physical attractiveness is one feature of a person that often may help to create influence. Although it has long been suspected that physical beauty provides an advantage in social interaction, research indicates that this advantage may be greater than once supposed.

Physical attractiveness seems to engender a "halo" effect that extends to favourable impressions of other traits such as talent, kindness, and intelligence. As a result, attractive people are more persuasive both in terms of getting what they request and in changing others' attitudes

Similarity is a second factor that influences both Liking and compliance. That is, we like people who are like us and are more willing to say yes to their requests, often without much critical consideration.

Praise is another factor that produces Liking, although this can sometimes backfire when it is too transparent. But generally compliments most often enhance liking and can be used as a means to gain compliance.

Increased familiarity through repeated contact with a person or thing is yet another factor that facilitates Liking. But this holds true principally when that contact takes place under positive rather than negative circumstances. One positive circumstance that may works well is mutual and successful cooperation.

A final factor linked to Liking is often association. By associating with products or positive things, those who seek influence frequently share in a halo effect by association. Other individuals as well appear to recognise the positive effect of simply associating themselves with favourable events and distancing themselves from unfavourable ones.

A potentially effective response that reduces vulnerability to the undue influence of Liking upon decision-making requires a recognition of how Liking and its attending factors may impact our impression of someone making requests and soliciting important decisions.

That is, recognising how someone making requests may do inordinately well under certain circumstances should cause us to step back from some social interaction and objectively separate the requester from his or her offer or request. We should make decisions, commitments and offer compliance based upon the actual merits of the offer or request.

Applying the rule of liking:

- Use strategies to be liked by your prospects and clients (read 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie for some powerful tips or refer to the excellent summary here on this blog
- Always be positive and genuinely interested in the concerns of prospects.
- Always be fully present when communicating with clients and prospects. Never talk to a prospect on the phone while you're on the internet or reading emails.
- Listen to your client when they tell you about their interests, their family and friends. Get in the habit of remembering names, events, favourite teams or pastimes and use this information to show a genuine interest and desire to get to know your clients. This shows that you care and people naturally like those that care

How to Live Problem Free

2009-10-21T18:39:00.001Z

Everybody has problems but nobody realises the truth about them. Once you get this, you will never have another problem ever. If you're interested in living a problem free life, keep reading.

First, realise we are problem-making beings.

It appears to be the human condition to find problems, create them, and/or attract them. Even when you resolve a problem, you almost instantly fill the gap with another one. Almost nobody knows this. Yet it’s the key to living a problem free life. You have to understand that as one problem disappears, another bubbles up to take its place. That’s how the human mind works. Some people like drama more than others, but we all seem to attract problems simply out of human habit. It’s our current nature. It’s our program.

Second, you can transcend all problems with detachment.

To paraphrase Buddha, life is suffering, but once you realise that life is suffering, you no longer have to suffer. You are free. At that point you realise that life is a theatrical experience and you are just playing your part in the script of life. You are detached. You are, in many respects, awakened. This second insight is just a deeper understanding of the first one. Yes, we are problem-making beings but you can also detach from the experience of the problems.

You can witness them. You can watch them as if watching a soap opera on television.

Third, problems are due to perspective.

A problem to one person may be a blessing to another person. It depends on your intention, which directs your perspective. So where is the real problem? Is there even a problem at all? Dr. Hew Len, my co-author on the book Zero Limits, often asks, “Have you
ever noticed that when you have a problem, you are there?” He means that the problem is yours — yours in perception and yours in responsibility. Clear the beliefs in you that see it as a problem and the problem is gone. Poof!

The above insights work for any problem you can name.

Got money problems?

It’s only a problem because you aren’t accepting what you have and are focused on what you want with a feeling of lack or even desperation. You need to be grateful for what you have now and want more. When you do that with awareness and detachment, the issue isn’t a problem, it’s just your next activity. When you take the edge off your stress, you can more clearly see your next move.

Got relationship problems?

It’s the same scenario. It’s only a problem because of your perspective that it is a problem. From a higher view, it’s the next scene in the play of life. When you can take a deep breath, and realise this is just your next moment, you can more easily decide what to do. In fact, with clarity, there’s not even a decision. You know what to do and just do it.

To recap, the larger insight here is to realise that as a human you will always have problems. Always. But if you understand and accept that fact, you are then free from all problems and can lead an authentic problem-free life.

You got a problem with that?

Ao Akua,
Joe Vitale

Dr. Joe Vitale is the author of The Attractor Factor, The Key, Life’s Missing Instruction Manual, Zero Limits, and star of The Secret. www.JoeVitale.com

Original reference point for this article is: http://www.thinkbigmagazine.com/mindset/171-how-to-live-problem-free

Neuro-Linguistic Programming: Coaching Techniques

2009-10-07T18:43:00.004Z

adapted from: www.livetocoach.com

There are many techniques associated with NLP. The following section introduces you to a number of techniques to give you with a sense of how NLP works in practice.

Representational Systems
In NLP, representation systems refer to the five senses: visually (we see), auditorily (we hear), kinaesthetically (we feel and touch), olfactorily (we smell), and gustatorily (we taste).

This article will consider their internal function:
• When I imagine the layout of my home - I am using my visual sensory channel, to make an internal representation.
• When I imagine the sound of bells ringing - I am using my auditory sensory channel, to make an internal representation.
• When I remember how cold I felt in Canada - I am using my kinaesthetic sensory channel, to make an internal representation.

When someone is accessing an internal representation, it is likely he/she will use language associated with that channel. If (for example) I am utilising information I have stored in the visual channel, I will use visual language, such as “I see” and “I get the picture”. The words that a person uses to describe an event, thing or experience gives the listener clues as to what sensory channel the person is thinking in.

Here are some examples:
Visual: “I see what you mean”; “I get the picture”.
Auditory: “I hear what you’re saying”; “Sounds good”.
Kinaesthetic: “I didn’t catch that”; “I get your drift”.
Olfactory: “I smell a rat”; “I can smell victory”.
Gustatory: “It’s all turned sour”; “It left a bitter taste in my mouth”.

The olfactory and gustatory sensory channels are used less frequently than the other channels to create internal representations. It is thus less likely that reference to these senses will appear in conversation - although they do occur occasionally.
Most of us use all of the sensory channels to take in information and make internal representations. Usually, however, we prefer one or two channels - such as the visual or auditory channels.

Technique 1 - Developing Rapport
Rapport, as we know, is used as an essential part of the coaching process to develop a relationship between coach and client. Involved in developing rapport in the NLP process is to consider that the words a client uses in conversation reflects the ’sense’ (i.e. visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, olfactory, and gustatory) through which they are thinking, we can then (as the coach) use that information to help create a deep rapport.

If you keep using auditory words with people who are in visual mode, they will unconsciously feel out-of-sync with you. This is because they need to unconsciously translate the information you provide into their preferred channel. This takes time and subsequently results in a loss of rapport.

Technique 2 - Manipulating Sub Modalities
Sub modalities are the descriptive qualities that are directly linked to a sensory channel. For instance - linked to the visual sensory channel are the sub modalities of colour, size, shape and distance. This means that when I look at something I can assess it based on these features. Alternatively, when I hear something, I can assess its volume and tone. Therefore, volume and tone are examples of sub modalities of the auditory channel.

So if somebody says…’I imagine it will be very difficult’, don’t say…’Let’s talk it over’, instead say… ‘Let’s have a look at this’. (Visual example)
If somebody says… ‘I just want to talk about it’, don’t say… ‘Okay, fill the picture in for me’, instead say… ‘Tell me about it’. (Auditory example)
If somebody says… ‘It doesn’t feel right’, don’t say… ‘Let’s view this differently’, instead say… ‘Okay, let me try and get a hold of this’. (Kinaesthetic example)

Following is an activity you can do to get an idea of what your own sub modality is:
• Step 1 - Imagine a day at the beach.
• Step 2 - With that image in mind, I want you to mentally turn up the intensity of the colours. Imagine the sky a bright, bright blue, the sand a bright yellow. Every colour is very vivid and intense.
• Step 3 - Now, in your mind, turn the image black and white. (Does this change your response to the scene?)
• Step 4 - Return the scene to its original colours and move it further away from you, way away into the distance (how does it change your response when the scene is so distant from you?).
• Step 5 - Now bring the scene closer, really close.
• Step 6 - Now return the image to its original form.
You have just manipulated the sub modalities of an internal visual representation (i.e. you have played with the way an image is represented in your mind). Specifically, you have manipulated:
the intensity of colour
colour vs. black and white
near vs. far

But we could have also manipulated the
Auditory: volume (e.g. turn up the sounds of the crashing waves and the children playing)
Kinaesthetic: movement (e.g. speed up the whole scene and make everything super fast - then turn it down to a snail’s pace)

Manipulating sub modalities is a foundational strategy that forms the basis of a variety of NLP techniques, including the Circle of Success (see Technique 3) and Reframing (see Technique 4). By facilitating the manipulation of sub modalities, coaches enable coaching clients to intensify preferred feeling states, such as confidence, success and achievement. Alternatively, the manipulation of sub modalities can assist in distancing a coaching client from less useful states, such as lethargy or apathy.

Technique 3 - Circle of Success*
Another activity that requires you to manipulate submodalities is the Circle of Success. Read and have a go at the Activity below:
• Step 1 - Remember a time when you felt a sense of pride in your achievements. Choose a significant memory - perhaps one in which you exceeded your own expectations! Take the time to recall the event clearly. See what you were seeing, hear what you were hearing and feel what you were feeling.
• Step 2 - Now imagine a circle on the floor in front of you.
• Step 3 - Give the circle a colour. You can make it bright, shiny, patterned, whatever you chose to make it visually attractive.
• Step 4 - Choose a word that goes with that proud state you imagined - such as “success”, “yes!” or “you can do it”.
• Step 5 - With your memory of success foremost in mind (as though you are re-living it), take a deep breath, say your code word and step into the imaginary circle in front of you.
• Step 6 - Stand in the circle and intensify the memory. Make the colours more vivid, the sounds clearer and the feelings more intense.
• Step 7 - Stay standing for a moment inside this circle of success. Really see, feel and hear that state of success and achievement.
• Step 8 - Now step out of the circle, pick it up from the floor and fold it up so it fits in your pocket. Anytime you need to feel that sense of pride and achievement - throw the circle on the floor and step back into it - this is your Circle of Success.
*Circle of Success modified from - Tompkins, P., & Lawley, J. (1993, November). Change your thinking: Change your life with NLP. Personal Success Magazine.

Technique 4 - Reframing by Altering Sub Modalities
Another technique that can be used to alter submodalities is through reframing. The point of this technique is to alter the way in which you see a situation that bothers you. Read through the following instructions and have a go at altering a situation that bothers you.
• Picture yourself in a theatre.
• See an experience that is bothering you as a movie up on the screen. [Start with a minor experience. It may be something that has already occurred or something that you are facing ahead of you, such as a nerve-racking presentation or a difficult conversation you anticipate having].
• First you might want to play it in fast forward, like a cartoon.
• You might want to put circus music to it, the sound of a calliope.*
• Then you might want to play it backwards, watching the image become more and more absurd.

*Note - A calliope is a type of organ composed of a set of whistles that sound as steam flows through creating loud, often boisterous sounds, often associated with the circus.
Extracted from Robbins, A. (1986). Unlimited Power. New York, NY: Ballantine Books.

This technique affords coaching clients a sense of distance from the bothersome event (by projecting it on to a screen) and creates a new way to view or store the experience. By altering the way in which the event is perceived, clients may experience a shift in the way the event influences their future behaviour, thoughts and/or emotions.

Conclusion
NLP is predominantly used in coaching to examine a client’s habitual patterns of behaviour and to enhance performance. This is accomplished through investigating a client’s beliefs and belief systems and to help change these where appropriate.
In this resource you have examined some of the commonly used techniques in NLP including developing rapport, manipulating submodalities and reframing by altering sub modalities.

Creating Wealth

2009-09-26T16:52:00.002Z

In the midst of a recession, seeking to create wealth seems a contrarian viewpoint. However, in this article (published in the current edition of ThinkBig Magazine www.thinkbigmagazine.com), Vanessa Bonnette outlines 5 key principles to doing just that.

Research has shown that attaining wealth has nothing to do with luck, education or intelligence. The truth is that wealthy people understand the principles of accumulating wealth and simply put them into action. The principles are covered in the book Empowered for the New Era, but this article outlines five key lessons. By following all the principles of wealth, your life will change and you will generate wealth.

These five lessons are very simple; however, they require courage and commitment for change to manifest, particularly in the ways you think and behave toward money.

Lesson 1: Choose To Be Wealthy

Like most things in life, wealth begins with a decision. Today you can choose to build wealth. Write down a “wealth affirmation” and make it clearly visible so you look at it every day. Your conscious decision to create wealth is the beginning of change - the moment you made the decision, your consciousness automatically starts working to create that reality.

Lesson 2: Be Responsible with Money

If you don't control your money, money will control you! Controlling money simply means taking responsibility for what you have. You need to know where your money comes from, how much you have/earn and where it’s going. Take time to write these three aspects down – be precise. Assess your emotions while you discover what your money is doing. It’s easy to take responsibility and make your money work for you when you know you’ll feel good.

Lesson 3: Save a Percentage

Wealthy people use the “pay myself first” principle before paying others. They usually take 20% from their earnings and bank it or invest it in a separate account every payday. This money is never touched unless an absolute emergency arises. These untouched savings accounts earn compound interest (interest on interest) and their money keeps increasing.

Lesson 4: Adopt a Winner’s Attitude

Winners always strive to increase their income and reduce their costs. You can quickly reduce the amount of money you spend by asking yourself “Do I really need that?” before buying something. You could take public transport occasionally instead of driving or consider car pooling. Reduce food waste by planning meals and buying only the ingredients required – avoid buying all the extra temptations in the supermarket! By replacing the common (destructive) thought that “Consuming is a necessary part of life” with something that is constructive like “As I simplify, I beautify” you’re adopting a winner’s attitude of “win-win” i.e. you win and earth wins! I guarantee possessions will not make you happy.

Lesson 5: Give and Receive

I’m sure we’d all like to live in a society where everyone has enough, is taken care of and supports one another. Unfortunately we don’t live in a society like that, so there are many who do not have enough, are not taken care of and do not support others. Most people focus only on themselves; hence millions starve to death, live in poverty and are neglected. Giving freely of our time, money and resources to those less fortunate contributes immensely to society and is our guarantee of receiving love, joy and peace. If everyone contributed in this way abundance would be commonplace. Remember: Giving is love in action.

Vanessa J. Bonnette is a world renowned author, fully qualified practitioner and founder of Empowered for Life Holistic Health and Healing Services; and Shekinah Therapy. Her latest publication - Empowered for the New Era - is now available. Please visit www.shekinahtherapy.com.au for more details.

The Urgent / Important Matrix

2009-09-22T19:43:00.006Z

Using Time Effectively, Not Just Efficiently

It's urgent, but is it really important?

We've all been there: The project is due for today's meeting and we are only three quarters done. Our anxiety is at its peak, we can't concentrate, everything is a distraction, and then, finally, we blow!

Time stressors are some of the most pervasive sources of pressure and stress in the workplace, and they happen as a result of having too much to do in too little time.

With this kind of pressure all too common, effective time management is an absolute necessity. You probably use a day-planner and to-do list to manage your time. These tools are certainly helpful, but they don't allow you to drill down to one of the most essential elements of good time management: distinguishing between what is important and what is urgent.

Great time management means being effective as well as efficient. Managing time effectively, and achieving the things that you want to achieve, means spending your time on things that are important and not just urgent. To do this, and to minimize the stress of having too many tight deadlines, you need to distinguish clearly between what is urgent and what is important:

•Important activities have an outcome that leads to the achievement of your goals.
•Urgent activities demand immediate attention, and are usually associated with the achievement of someone else's goals, or with an uncomfortable problem or situation that needs to be resolved.

Urgent activities are often the ones we concentrate on. These are the "squeaky wheels that get the grease." They demand attention because the consequences of not dealing with them are immediate.

The Urgent/Important Matrix is a useful tool for thinking about this.
The idea of measuring and combining these two competing elements in a matrix has been attributed to both former US President Eisenhower and Dr Stephen Covey.

Eisenhower's quote, "What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important," sums up the concept of the matrix perfectly. This so-called "Eisenhower Principle" is said to be how Eisenhower organized his tasks. As a result, the matrix is sometimes called the Eisenhower Matrix.

Covey brought the idea into the mainstream and gave it the name "The Urgent/Important Matrix" in his 1994 business classic, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

How to Use the Tool:

The Urgent/Important Matrix is a powerful way of thinking about priorities. Using it helps you overcome the natural tendency to focus on urgent activities, so that you can keep enough time clear to focus on what's really important. This is the way you move from "firefighting", into a position where you can grow your business and your career.

The matrix is drawn as a quadrant, with dimensions of Importance on the vertical axis and Urgency on the horizontal axis, defined as high or low priority. It contains four elements, i.e. Important Goals, Critical Activities, Distractions and Interruptions which are plotted on the quadrant.

The steps below help you use the matrix to prioritize your activities:
1.Firstly, list all of the activities and projects you feel you have to do. Try to include everything that takes up your time at work, however unimportant. (If you manage your time using an Action Program, you'll already have done this.)
2.Next, assign importance to each of the activities – you can do this on, say, a scale of 1 to 5: Remember, this is a measure of how important the activity is in helping you meet your goals and objectives. Try not to worry about urgency at this stage, as this helps get to the true importance.
3.Once you have assigned importance to each activity, evaluate the urgency of each activity. As you do this, you can plot the listed items on the matrix according to the assigned importance and urgency.
4.Now study the matrix using the guidelines below, and schedule your work according to your priorities.

Strategies for Different Quadrants of the Matrix

Urgent and Important ("Critical Activities"):
There are two distinct types of urgent and important activities: Ones that you could not foresee, and others that you have left to the last minute.

You can avoid the latter by planning ahead and avoiding procrastination.

Issues and crises, on the other hand, cannot always be foreseen or avoided. Here, the best approach is to leave some time in your schedule to handle these. Also, if a major crisis arises, some other activity may have to be rescheduled.

If this happens, identify which of you urgent-important activities could have been foreseen and think about how you could schedule similar activities ahead of time, so they do not become urgent.

Urgent and Not Important ("Interruptions"):
Urgent but not important activities can be a constant source of interruption. They stop you achieving your goals and completing your work. Ask yourself whether these tasks can be rescheduled, or whether someone else could do them.

A common source of such interruptions is from other people coming into your office. Sometimes it's appropriate to say "No" to people, or encourage them to solve the problem themselves. Alternatively, try allocating time when you are available, so that people only interrupt you at certain times (a good way of doing this is to schedule a regular meeting so that all issues can be dealt with at the same time). By doing this, the flow of work on your important activities will be less disrupted.

Not Urgent, but Important ("Important Goals"):
These are the activities that you can plan ahead for to achieve your goals and complete your work. Make sure that you have plenty of time to achieve these, so that they do not become urgent. And remember to leave enough time in your schedule to deal with unforeseen problems. This will maximize your chances of keeping on schedule, and help you avoid the stress of work becoming more urgent that necessary.

Not Urgent and Not Important ("Distractions"):
These activities are just a distraction, and should be avoided if possible. Some can simply be ignored. Others are activities that other people want you to do, but they do not contribute to your own desired outcomes. Again, say "No" politely and firmly where this is appropriate.

If people see you are clear about your objectives and boundaries, they will often not ask you to do "not important" activities in future.

Key Points

The Urgent/Important Matrix helps you look at your task list, and quickly identify the activities you should focus on. By prioritizing using the Matrix, you can deal with truly urgent issues, at the same time that you keep on working towards your goals.

This article is reproduced with permission of MindTools
http://www.mindtools.com/rs/CareerExcellenceClub

LifeSkills Personal Development Programme

2009-09-03T19:59:00.002Z

The LifeSkills programme is an integrated, experiential 5 week evening programme combining presentations, discussions and exercises designed to increase your self-awareness, enhance your decision making and lead to more effective personal and professional behaviours. Participants will be expected to actively engage in the programme, and will be encouraged to complete a Personal Development Plan.

Each Monday night session will last for two hours, commencing 21st September 2009 in the Conference Room, Ground Floor, Letterkenny General Hospital.

The programme will be supported by handouts and will involve some ‘homework’!! The cost of the programme is €99 per person, with a minimum of 10 participants required for the course to take place.

The programme outline is as follows:-

Moving Forward
- where are you now?
- Balanced Wheel exercise
- where are you going?
- how can you get there?
- Being SMART
- GROW Model & Goal Setting

Knowing Me . . . Knowing You
- Exploring different Personality Types
- Discover your own personality type
- Apply this knowledge to yourself, and others
- Personality & Career Choice

Communication Skills
- Verbal communication
- Use of language
- Neuro Lingusistic Programming
- non-verbal & active listening
- Perception - exercise
- Emotional intelligence

Assertiveness
- personality types
- different approaches
- giving & receiving feedback
- Learning to say No, & feeling good about it
- ‘catastrophising’ &‘tolerations’

Stress Management
- Stress and Distress
- identify sources & symptoms of Stress
- recognise trigger situations
- manage your responses, immediate & long-term
- Boundary setting
- Review your role as a stressor for others

Review & Course Evaluation

Bookings can be made by contacting Patrick from EPM Consulting on 0(0353)86 8892346,e-mailing info@epmconsulting.eu or via the company website www.epmconsulting.eu .

How to Set Goals Effectively

2009-07-22T19:41:00.002Z

"A goal properly set is halfway reached." Zig Ziglar

Clear goals contain the power to motivate and energise us into action. Yet so often we start out on the quest for self-improvement, either personally or professionally with no real concept of where we want to be or exactly what it is we want.

We may have some vague concept in mind, such as increasing income or productivity but this is rarely translated into specific goals. Without a clear goal in mind, it becomes increasingly likely that we may unwittingly focus our well intended energy in the wrong direction.

When we are unsure of where we are heading it becomes very easy to work hard yet accomplish little. With a clear goal in sight, we can ensure that our actions continually contribute to its achievement.

Without goals you are drifting and when you drift you are not in control. If you are not in control, then someone else is. Then you have relinquished the basic right to be master of your own destiny. In doing this you also surrender your freedom of action which restricts your choices and can lead to frustration, anxiety, fear and stress.

The benefits of goal setting are numerous. Individuals who set effective goals:

suffer less stress and anxiety;
have better concentration;
show increased self confidence;
perform better;
are happier with their performance.

Goal setting also:

keeps you focussed;
provides clarity and direction;
increases determination, patience and persistence;
builds self-esteem when goals are met;
ensures you remain proactive in your life, rather than reactive.
The seeds of achievement are found in the process of goal setting. If your goals are incorrectly set, then the probability of a successful outcome are severely diminished.

When setting your goals ensure you subject each goal to the SMART but PURE test.

Goals must be SMART:

Specific - Is your goals well-defined? Your goal must be clear and concise. Avoid setting unclear or vague objectives.
Measurable - Be clear how you will recognise when you have achieved your goal. A hint is to use numbers and dates where possible.
Attainable - Don't set yourself up for failure. Setting yourself goals that you cannot possibly achieve will only end in disappointment. Make your goals challenging, but realistic.
Relevant - Try and step back and get an overview of all different areas of your life. Consider how relevant your goals are to the overall picture.
Time-framed - Set a time frame for the completion of each goal. Even if you have to review your time frame as you progress, it will assist you to stay motivated.

But PURE:

Positively stated
Understood
Realistic
Ethical

Most of these are self-evident and require no further elaboration; however a couple of observations must be made. If a goal is not realistic, there is no hope, but if it is not challenging, there is no motivation.

It is very important to state goals in the positive. If I say to you 'Don't think of a blue balloon' - what do you think about - a blue balloon. If goals are stated in the negative - you will focus on the negative.

ACTIVITY - Take a piece of paper now and make a list of 5 professional goals you would like to accomplish in the next year. Write your goals as though they have already been achieved. For example: "I earn X euro per year" OR "I drive such and such a car".

Read over your list of goals and select the one that, if achieved would have the greatest positive impact on your life.

Circle the goal clearly.

Below is a seven step process for effective goal setting. By following these seven steps, you can maximise your ability to accomplish your goals. You may notice that the activity you have just completed has worked through steps one and two of this process. You may like to spend more time on this activity in your own time.

This is a crucial first step. It is vital that your goal aligns with where you want to go and exactly what you want to achieve.

1 Decide exactly what you want
2 Write it down
3 Set a deadline
4 Make a list of everything you have to do to achieve that goal
5 Organise that list into a plan
6 Take action immediately
7 Resolve to do something everyday that progresses you toward your goal
(Brian Tracy, 2004)

The next step, step three is to set a final deadline for your goal.

Source: adapted from www.counsellingacademy.com.au

Useful Principles of Time Management

2009-05-30T20:02:00.002Z

"You may delay, but time will not, and lost time is never found again." ~ Benjamin Franklin

It is said that good time management can add two hours to a person's daily life! Below are three general principles that can assist you to better manage your time and increase your overall productivity.

The 80/20 rule - The 80/20 principle is also known as the Pareto principle. It is based on the ideas of an Italian economist called Vilfredo Pareto. Pareto was a French-Italian economist and philosopher who lived between 1848 and 1923. Initially his observations were based largely on the distribution of wealth.

In other words, he saw that 20 per cent of people owned 80 per cent of wealth. The remaining 80 per cent control only 20 per cent of the wealth. Over time it was realised that the same principle could be applied to many areas.

In time management this can be applied in a number of ways. One of these is to say that 20 per cent of what you do accounts for 80 per cent of your results.

Prime time - In line with the 80/20 rule is the idea of 'Prime Time'. It is found that not only do 20 per cent of your efforts account for 80 per cent of your results, but also that your best efforts occur in 20 per cent of the day.

In other words, most people are found to be somewhat inefficient for 80 per cent of their time. If someone is found to have a time in the day that is more productive than other times, this is when they should carry out their priority work and this is the time of the day they should protect themselves against distractions and diversions.

Don't try to change everything at once - Also in line with the 80/20 principle, it is best to focus on certain areas of their life, and set tasks that gradually help you to build from one success to another.

For example, if you are simply not sleeping well and your average day is a disaster due to exhaustion, then you know that a large result can be obtained by working on this one problem.

Similarly, if you spend 5 out of every 15 minutes looking for something at your office or workplace, then you reorganizing you work area significantly add time to your day. From each success you can go on to the next area, rather than adding to overload by trying to do too much at once.

If you want to make the best of your time, and improve your effectiveness, contact EPM Consulting at www.epmconsulting.eu today. But do it now, and remember . . . .tomorrow is not a day of the week!

De-Stress

2009-03-02T15:25:00.003Z

A lecturer, when explaining Stress Management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked,

"how heavy is this glass of water? "

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied,
"The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.
"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

"In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. "

"And that's the way it is with stress management.

If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. " "As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. "

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. "
"Relax; pick them up later after you've rested.

Life is short.

Enjoy it!

There are also some reflections, and philosphies of life that might bring some greater persepective to dealing with the burdens of life, such as:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone €20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

* Never buy a car you can't push.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once

* We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull, Some have weird names , and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

" A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Will Your Life Work the Way You Want It to in 2009?

2009-02-13T10:10:00.001Z

By Jack Canfield

As I mentioned earlier, 2009 may bring greater uncertainty and more unsettling economic news than recent years, but these circumstances should compel us to take a deep breath, and pause to think about our lives.

When things happen in the world that seem so far beyond our individual control, it can feel unsettling.

Don't give up on your goals and dreams just because "the time isn't good"... you can still make 2009 the year you uncover a whole new you for the better!

Even in tough times, you get to decide how to respond to certain conditions, opportunities, and outcomes--both good and bad.

Life will always be a series of choices and YOU get to decide on what will move you closer to your goals, or farther away from them. External forces will always be part of the equation, even during the good times when the world is thriving.

When people ask me about the single most important ingredient to success, I always share the same response: realizing what's making you achieve success, and then realizing what is stifling your success.

Sometimes recognizing the things that are NOT working in your life can be painful, yet VERY powerful to shaping the life you want.

Don't try to rationalize them, make excuses for them, or hide them. This is when it's even more critical to take personal inventory and evict those excuses, rationalizations, and hidden habits that don't serve you. These things will keep you from the life you want to be living. Let me give you some examples. Ask yourself if you relate to any of these questions:

Do you want to be active, fit, and strong? Then you have to stop making excuses about your weight, diet choices, and lack of exercise.

Do you want to be in a loving relationship based on friendship and respect? Then you have to stop rationalizing why you and your partner are not communicating well.

Do you want to embrace Monday mornings and feel excited about going to work every day? Then you have to stop hiding your true passions and go after whatever it is you really want to be doing day in and day out.

Do you want to lose the debt forever? Then you have to stop ignoring your spending habits and get real about a creating budget that will pull you out of debt and allow you to reach financial freedom.

Do you want to feel more connected to the people in your life, such as your children, friends, and colleagues? Then you have to stop complaining about your poor relationships and figure out why you don't feel as connected as you'd like to be.

These things can be painful to look at because the truth is that you have to do something about them in order to make it work in your life.

You'll have to say no to the second helping of dinner and the dessert to follow and go through the awkward stage of getting into shape... You'll have to confront your partner about the areas that need work... You'll have to get past fears about changing your job or professional path... You'll have to cut back on your spending and be frugal... You'll have to take a good hard look at your personal relationships and perhaps consider your own shortfalls and weaknesses in communicating your needs and concerns.

Plain and simple, you will have to do something uncomfortable.

Successful people don't waste time in denial (or complain or make excuses for that matter). They face situations like a warrior. They look for the warning signs, they find out why things aren't working, and they go about fixing them- even when fixing requires problem solving, hard work, risk, and a level of uncertainty.

It's okay to identify a problem even though you haven't a clue about how to go about solving it right away.

The first step is just recognizing the issue, and then having faith that you'll figure it out with careful attention to it. That's how successful people live--in constant focus on goals, on results, on problem solving, and on the actions that get them to where they want to be.

Following are three things to do constantly in pursuit of your goals and dreams, however big or small:

Awareness: Keep your awareness on the feedback you are getting from life and decide to address the situations immediately. Don't bottle up feedback, cast it aside, and avoid it like you would a pile of dirty laundry or a stack of unopened bills. Life tells you things every day. Do this. Don't do that. Think about this. Try me. Forget that. We live in a world that seemingly encourages us to live on autopilot. Successful people fly manually every day and so should you. When those feedback signals come in, listen to them and use them in planning your next step.
Commitment: Commit to finding out why things aren't working and learn what will fix them. Once you start the process it will be much easier to continue. Nothing fruitful stems from inaction.
Trust: Trust that making changes to the situation will ultimately bring about the best results. Sure you might go through a bit of discomfort during the change, and some unlikely or unwanted outcomes, but in the end you will triumph!
So are you ready to admit the things that just are not working out?

Make a list of the things in your life that are working against your success and ask how the situation can be improved. Commit to tackling just one of those issues and be brave!

If you need help organizing those "things" in your life, try using the following list of categories. I recommend reflecting on each of the 7 areas and ask yourself, what's not working here in each one and then brainstorm 3 potential solutions.

1.) Financial Goals, 2) Career/Business Goals, 3.) Free Time/Family Time, 4.) Health/Appearance Goals, 5.) Relationship Goals, 6.) Personal Growth 7.) Making a Difference

Remember, by facing what is not working, you can only improve your life!

© 2009 Jack Canfield
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com

Be the Cause of your life . . not the Because

2009-02-10T19:44:00.002Z

The truth is, there is no shortage of resources in the world … only resourcefulness.

What a profound statement. Like all profound sayings, its impact is centred on the simplicity of the message. So . . . .if you’re currently not getting the results you want in life, start by taking responsibility for your results. Then, expand what you believe is possible by letting go of the limiting belief systems standing
in your way.

Internal obstacles—like limiting beliefs, false perceptions and misaligned values—thwart success more than any external obstacles ever could. The mind is the only thing that stands in the way of YOU and your ultimate wealth and fulfilment. When you hold negative beliefs, these will negatively impact on the actions you take, how you perform and ultimately the results that you achieve. This can become a vicious and self-defeating cycle. However . . . it doesn't have to be this way.

That’s the great news! Because that means, you can break through those self-imposed glass-ceilings in an instant. There is a Success Equation that will absolutely increase your wealth potential a million-fold. All you have to do is this:

Move yourself from the Effect side to the Cause side of the Success
Equation.

Be the cause of your life, not the because.

Acting as if you are at the effect of everything puts you in the passenger’s seat of your life. Taking personal responsibility for creating your experience gets you back in the driver’s seat. Whether you believe you cause experiences in your life or not, acting as if it’s true allows you to take charge of your results.
From this place of power, all of your actions and responses to situations will be far more effective. YOU get to choose your own future.

If you feel that you want to change your thinking, and take appropriate actions to move from where you are now, to where you want to be, help is only one phone call or e-mail away. Making one simple choice, and taking one simple action could change you and your life forever!

Contact EPM Consulting at www.epmconsulting.eu, telephone 086 8892346 or e-mail info@epmconsulting.eu to find out how we can assist you be even better . . .but do it today. Tomorrow is not a day of the week!

Losing Weight the 'expert' way

2009-01-06T14:00:00.001Z

Overindulged at Christmas? Want to start the New Year by losing a few pounds?
Last year, James Sweetman (www.jamessweetman.com) undertook a project entitled Consistent Excellence in Nutrition. He interviewed many experts in the field several of whom appear regularly on TV, assisting people with health and wellness issues. This article is a summary of his findings and in it he shares 8 great strategies that the experts use.

1. Beliefs – getting your thinking right
Beliefs are statements that we hold to be true and we act in accordance with them. For example, people with religious beliefs usually try to act in accordance with them. Most of the time our beliefs are unconscious, that is, we are not aware of them and the power they hold over us. In the context of weight loss, a typical belief is ‘losing weight is very tough.’ If we belief that to be true, we will seek evidence to verify that belief.
The experts I spoke with did not have any limiting beliefs in terms of fitness and health. Examples of their positive, empowering beliefs included:

“Life will be immeasurable improved when attention is paid to a healthy diet.”
“How I feel is a top priority.”
“I don’t have to be perfect all the time.”
Write out the beliefs you are holding in this area. A good way to uncover them is to simply think about what you would like to achieve and write out all the thoughts that come into your mind. What thoughts are limiting and could hold you back? What could you replace them with?

2. Focus on the end result
The people who succeed at losing weight and maintaining the loss are motivated by a dream much bigger and more positive than just losing weight. They see themselves living a healthy lifestyle. They begin to act and think like people who are in good physical shape. They change their thinking (their beliefs) and the change in their actions follow automatically. It wouldn't be possible to effect and sustain such a radical change unless the person is motivated by a big dream that is positive in nature.

3. Planning
The bigger focus or dream is converted into results and achievements by having a future focus and planning ahead. Speaking with the experts, planning fell into two categories.

Firstly, having a goal focus. That could be completing the mini marathon in June or reaching a certain weight or dress size by Easter. The goal has to be specific and has to have a target date for completion, otherwise it is wishful thinking.
Secondly, all the experts recommended planning meals ahead. They suggested eating five small meals a day. To get started and to build good habits, they advised planning the week’s meals, all thirty five of them, at the beginning of the week. This will reduce the likelihood of finding yourself hungry with nothing in the fridge and making some less than good eating decisions.

4. Visualise your Achievements
Imagine in your mind how you will look and feel, and the life you will be living when you achieve your goal. How will you know you have achieved your goal unless you have determined what success means to you. So, take 10 minutes when you know you are not going to be disturbed and daydream about what you will look like when you have achieved your goal. Be specific. Writing out this description will make your goal seem much more real. Review what you have written every day and connect with your image of the new you. Connect with how achieving this result will make you feel. What will you be doing differently? What will you be saying and thinking when you have achieved your goal?

5. Measure your Results
To manage anything you have to be able to measure it. This is true in business, it is also true with diets. A simple technique is to get yourself a notebook. Each day write into your notebook what positive actions you are taking to make progress. It might be going for a walk or eating a salad for lunch. Also note what you are doing less of to reduce weight. For example, note that you didn’t have desert after dinner or resisted the cappuccino after lunch. If you want to note what the scales is telling you on a weekly basis or simply writing down how you are feeling, than that is also useful.

6. Values
One of the findings from speaking with the nutrition experts that surprised me was learning that their primary focus was not on themselves. They wanted to be the best they could be in the areas of health and nutrition to be an example to others, to inspire other people to make healthier choices. It wasn’t just about them. If you think about it, don’t we always do more for other people than we do for ourselves? If you can embark on living a healthier lifestyle in tandem with a friend or partner, then you can give each other support and encouragement as you go along.

7. Resisting Temptation – what to do when the going gets tough
It was Oscar Wilde who said ‘I can resist everything except temptation.’ One of the areas that I wanted to get specific knowledge on when I spoke with the nutrition experts was how did they cope with resisting temptation. That moment when your hand is on the packet of crisps, or you make the decision to order a chocolate desert. What was interesting is that they all approached this in the same way and it wasn’t what I might have thought beforehand.
When tempted to eat unhealthily, they remembered a time in the past when they over-indulged. Perhaps after Christmas lunch or when they had a few too many drinks. They associated with this past memory, that is, they experienced it again on the inside, how they felt, what they saw, what they said to themselves. Some would then think about what it is they wanted to achieve, so they would have a contrast between the two extremes.
So if you overindulged over Christmas you can use that sense of bloatedness as a motivating factor for overcoming temptation.
All the experts said that aiming for 100% perfection in this area is a recipe (again pardon the pun) for disaster. It is what you do 80% of the time that matters. Going from four lattes a day to none is extreme. Going from four to two to one over a few weeks is steady progress.

8. Persistence

How long do you stick with something difficult before you give up? For many people in today’s immediate gratification society, if something doesn’t happen easily, they will not persevere. In a study carried out over a 10 year period in the US by The National Metabolic and Longevity Research Center they found that persistence is the single most important aspect of any diet or fitness program. The study followed a group of people (Group A) who exercised and dieted very strictly, but sporadically and compared those results with a second group (Group B) who exercised mildly and followed a very basic diet, but this group never varied from their routine. Even though Group B exercised and dieted far less (but did so persistently) they got 68% better results than those who exercised and dieted strictly but infrequently.

As the saying goes ‘if nothing changes then everything stays the same.’ This is true for our thoughts as well as our actions. Wouldn’t now be a good time to start making those changes? The above eight strategies work, I use them myself. But remember, knowledge is only potential power you have to take action to reap the rewards of your knowledge.

This and similar articles are available on www.jamessweetman.com

New Year - New You

2008-12-06T22:45:00.002Z

It's almost here.

The New Year stretches before us like 365 blank pages of a personal diary.What will be written on those pages by this time next year? Will it be a tale of health, wealth, romance and wondrous prosperity? Or will those pages tell a story of misery, sorrow and sadness?

There's only one thing for sure... whatever is written on those pages will be authored by you and me! Isn't that neat? Just think... each of us is writing our own personal action adventure... and...We Can Make It Come Out Anyway We Want!

The above words were written by Neil Asher on his blog, and don't they just ring true? As we approach the start of a New Year, we all have the opportunity to start afresh, to turn over a new leaf, to be everything we wanted to be. The possibilities are endless, limited only by our own imagination, and self-imposed obstacles.

What is stopping you moving ahead, moving forward, being what you want to be?

What boundaries are you placing in your own way? What patterns of thinking or behaviour are inhibiting you from being your best?

Make that change, and take that first step by contacting EPM Consulting (www.epmconsulting.eu) for Personal, Executive & Lifestyle Coaching.

Your new life might only be one click away!!!

Time Management and Children

2008-11-17T20:26:00.000Z

Parents face their own challenges in regards to time. Some guidelines may be offered to parents in relation to time management:

A key approach with children is behavioural management. Children are not always inclined to reason and trying to negotiate with reactivity and irrationality can be one of the most time consuming activities of all. It is best to listen, acknowledge what has been said, then to gently insist on and enforce what is needed.

A 'rewards and penalties' system can work wonders. Some parents keep a board on the fridge and on a weekly basis tally up points for good and bad actions. The end score is used to decide on whether rewards are given or privileges are taken away. The key to the whole thing is logic and consistency and it is more effective if the system has been talked through in a family meeting before being instated.

Parents should ensure there is 'family time' each day. This should be a time that everyone looks forward to. Having times that are dedicated to the family might seem to eat into the week significantly. However, this time is important for children to feel wanted and acknowledged and are more likely to keep themselves busy at other times. Also, this can also lessen the time spent handling arguments and tantrums.

Children really do thrive on feeling that they can contribute and delegating tasks to them is something that should be done thoughtfully and with patience. This can boost a child's morale and self esteem.

A behavioural management system should be in place such as when getting ready for school in the morning, being on time for meals and other areas where children can slow the day down.

Parents should speak in a calm, normal voice with eye contact when giving instructions. That way there is 'somewhere to go' when there is a need to change the tone of voice to indicate displeasure. Parents who start off with an angry, escalated tone have nowhere to go, the children become desensitized demoralized because they start to think that their parents are always mad at them.

Some parents have found success with turning off everything electronic in the house if children's behaviour escalates. Some parents tell their children to read and draw or make things, while others are sent out to play. Often, the children immediately calm down and lose themselves in their new activities.

Parenting is a major part of some people's lives and can be successfully addressed as part of a time management process.

Source: Counselling Academy

7 Ways to Boost your Self Confidence today

2008-11-05T21:54:00.002Z

Most of us, if we are honest would like to feel more self confident. For some people, it is situation specific, like meeting new people, speaking in public or attending an interview. For others it is all encompassing.

We are not born lacking confidence; lack of confidence is something we learn.
Before looking at practical ways of boosting self confidence, it is useful to know what confidence is. Probably the best definition I’ve come across defines confidence as ‘an internal faith, believe or certainty about our personal powers and abilities to achieve.’ The word comes from the Latin ‘con fidis’ meaning ‘with faith’, doing something with the faith that you can do it.

Here are 7 ways to feel more confident:-

1. Know that being confident is not the same as being comfortable

Most people think they will only feel confident when they are comfortable doing something. This can be true. If you have been working in your job for a few years, you can be confident in your abilities and comfortable dealing with work-related issues. It is perfectly natural to feel uncomfortable or less than certain in unfamiliar situations. Most people feel less than confident when they are doing something they have not done before. The question to ask yourself is ‘how can I get more comfortable with being uncomfortable?’ This is how we expand our comfort zones.

2. Set yourself a confidence building goal

One of the best ways to boost confidence is to decide to take a specific action so that you can earn and deserve the right to be confident. In other words, setting yourself a little test. One of the things I did in the past to boost my self confidence was to ask more questions at talks or meetings I attended. I would try to come up with something logical to ask, but the main reason I was doing it was to build my self confidence. I wanted to be someone who could ask questions. That doesn’t mean my hand wasn’t shaking when I raised it, but I felt good afterwards. Remember that ‘buzz’ we feel after we do something that scared us, is our self confidence growing.

3. Eliminate Comparisons

This is a neat one. If you are in the habit of putting other people on pedestals, ‘I wish I could do that like her!’ or ‘Why can’t I be more like him?’ what you are doing is putting the boot into your own self confidence. It is one thing to admire someone and ask yourself what can I learn from them, it is another to compare yourself to them. The only comparison that is ever valid is between where you feel you are now and your potential. And remember most of the time when we are making comparisons we are comparing what we feel on the inside with what we see on the other person’s outside! We don’t know what the other person is feeling on the inside!

4. Acknowledge your strengths

When we are lacking self confidence we are focussing on what we believe to be our weakness. A great way to boost self confidence is to make a list of your strengths, the things you are good at, your talents, aptitudes, personal qualities etc. Indications of strengths can be things you enjoy doing, or things you have been complimented on. The foundation of Self Confidence is Self Esteem. The best definition of self esteem I’ve come across is ‘the degree to which you like yourself.’ Spending more time at least acknowledging our strengths will boost self esteem.

5. Confidence is a habit.

As humans we are habit forming creatures. In the same way that we have behavioural habits we also have thinking habits. We have habits about how we think about ourselves and what we are capable of and habits about how we think about certain situations. To change a habit we have to consciously do something differently. For example, rather than focussing on the worst outcome, which is what we are doing when we are lacking confidence, how can we view the situation differently? Just for a split second ask yourself ‘what is the best outcome?’ and ‘what is likely to happen?’ rather than just focussing on ‘what is the worst that can happen?’

6. Put on the ‘uniform’ of confidence

When we are confident we tend to walk tall. Our shoulders are back, and our eyes are looking around (instead of looking down when we are nervous.) We tend to breathe more deeply and our body language is open (no folded arms or crossed legs.) The interesting thing is that by purposefully putting on this uniform of confidence you are not only communicating to others that you are confident (though in the short-term you may feel like a fraud) you are also influencing the sort of thoughts you are having. Our thoughts influence our body language, but our body language influences our thoughts as well. To boost self confidence you need to forge a new habit of body language. You are faking it until you make it!

7. Learn to accept compliments

Learning how to accept a compliment is another powerful way of boosting self confidence. Most people don’t know how to accept compliments, they brush them off – ‘Oh this old thing I have it for ages...’ We all receive compliments all the time, but we don’t realise it. Statistics show that by the age of 18 the average teenager will have been praised about 300,000 times. Scarily about 80% of this positive feedback will have been by the age of 3! The average 5 year old is told ‘no’ or don’t do that’ about 60 times a day. Children are not born with a lack of confidence, but by the time we reach adulthood we are so unaccustomed to positive feedback that when we get it we don’t know what to do with it, so we brush it off. See each compliment as a gift (which it is) and as a little building block to self confidence.

Many people drink excessively or take drugs in an attempt to boost their self confidence. But perhaps there are other more effective and long-lasting ways that don’t have the same side effects. Follow the above 7 steps and you will be unlearning the habit of lack of confidence and enhancing the quality of your life along the way.

James Sweetman is the author of Graduate to Success and is a leading authority on Peak Performance. If you are ready to step into your potential, visit www.jamessweetman.com

Processing Information with NLP

2008-10-22T18:36:00.002Z

The following article has been reproduced from the Life Coaching Institute of Australia (www.lcia.com.au) newsletter LCI Ezine Central.

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a popular theory used in coaching. It focuses on how people perceive and make meaning of their world and works with perceptions to help people understand and make changes to the way they perceive their world.

Here we will focus on how we process information to create such perceptions. James & Woodsmall (1988) proposed the following:

"After the external event comes in through our sensory input channels, and before we make an Internal Representation (IR) of the event, we filter the event. We run that event through our internal processing filters. Our internal processing filters are how we delete, distort and generalize the information that comes in through our five senses."

Deletion involves the process of selectively paying attention to specific aspects of an experience (James & Woodsmall, 1988). Through deletion we fail to notice particular sensory information.

For example, Ben's sister is picking him up from a concert. He is looking out intently for her car which he knows is a bright red hatchback. Because he is so focused on seeing a small red car, he fails to hear his sister calling him from a blue sedan (which she had borrowed from a friend).

As you can see from the example, Ben is so focused on the visual aspect of his experience (see a red car) that he fails to notice (or deletes) the auditory aspect of his experience (his sister calling him).

Distortion occurs when we misrepresent the sensory data received. For example, Juanita thought she heard rain falling. She ran out to take her washing off the line only to discover that it wasn't rain at all - it was the sound of the neighbour's air conditioning starting up. This is an example of auditory distortion where Juanita thought she heard one thing when in fact it was something completely different.

Generalisation is the process of making a judgement based on a limited number of experiences and attributing that judgement to a broad array of experiences (James & Woodsmall, 1988).

For example, Tyson and Nicky are looking to rent a new home. They visit their local real estate agent. Tyson feels as though this particular agent is only interested in working with people who are seeking to purchase a home, rather than rent one.

Nicky later overhears Tyson say to a friend, "real estate agents are all the same. They only want your business if you're buying!" As you can see from this example, Tyson has had one experience with one real estate agent and generalises this to all real estate agents.

Filters

Filtering of the information occurs before an internal representation of an event is made. James & Woodsmall (1988) list six examples of filters we use to delete, distort and generalise information.

Metaprograms are one type of filter and they are styles of thinking (or mental programs) that operate like filters across many contexts of an individual's life. For example, the metaprogram General vs. Specific characterises whether a person processes information by focusing on the details or on the broader picture.

Other metaprograms include: Frame of Reference (external vs. internal, or in other words, whether you assess your performance based on your own internal standards or through the feedback you receive from others) and Option vs. Procedures (also described as whether you like to look for new ways of doing things or prefer to stick with established procedures).

Sub Modalities

Sub modalities are the descriptive qualities that are directly linked to a sensory channel. For example - linked to the visual sensory channel are the sub modalities of colour, size, shape and distance.

This means that when I look at something I can assess it based on these features. Alternatively, when I hear something, I can assess its volume and tone. Therefore, volume and tone are examples of sub modalities of the auditory channel.

References.

James, T., & Woodsmall, W. (1988). Time Line Therapy and the Basis of Personality. Capitola: Meta Publications

Prosperity Day

2008-08-08T10:02:00.000Z

With ‘credit crunch’ and ‘recession’ by far the most talked about topics on TV and in our newspapers, people can be forgiven for spiralling into a somewhat negative and destructive state of doom and gloom. Yes, of course the country and indeed the whole world face problems and challenges, many of which are new to us. However, is it really all that bad; or shouldn’t we try a little positive thinking and reflect on successes and the positives rather than dwell on the bad?

In doing so we could very well surprise ourselves how powerful positive thinking is and how it can play an important part in reversing the current mood of negativity. This Friday, the 8th day in the 8th month in the 8th year presents us with a rare and unique opportunity to do just that.
The number 8 is most auspicious for success whether it is in relationships, family, health or in business. Therefore this ‘triple 8 for prosperity’ day which comes only once in a hundred years is very special indeed. So unique in fact that celebrated and highly respected positive energy specialist Dr Silvia Hartmann, PhD has named the day The World SUCCESS Day, the first day for the whole world to celebrate success and prosperity.

Dr Hartmann, who is also chair-person of The Association of Meridian Therapies (www.TheAMT.com) explains, "I thought, right, let's do something. Let's catch on to that auspicious breeze that’s existing there AND TURN OUR FORTUNES AROUND, set our fortunes in the opposite direction where this endless negativity is leading the way to doom, gloom, meltdown and disaster, namely towards success, enjoyment, personal triumph over adversity, and having a damn good time whilst you're at it!"

The date itself is a completely clear date in everyone’s calendar. There are no religious festivals or other holds on this date in the diary so everyone can join in. It is a totally fresh date for people everywhere wishing to live well and experience the good things in life joy, reward and personal triumph.

You can join in The World SUCCESS Day wherever you are and it doesn’t matter if you celebrate on your own, with friends or family, or at work with your business colleagues – the key to everything is positive energy and positive focus to bring about a bright future.
Dr Hartman outlines how to get involved on the day and what to do.

At any time on Friday, 08.08.08 take a few moments. Get yourself some champagne or some sparkling water and a nice glass. Fill the glass and get ready for a simple 3 step process which starts with:

Celebrating Past Successes
Take a moment to reflect on all the success you have had in your life,
all the things you are good at, really focus on your strengths, on your good points.
Congratulate yourself for having made it this far and when you have a real sense
of what it has taken for you to come here and be who you are today, toast yourself
and your achievements.
Take a drink.

Celebrating The Gifts Of The Present

Now, take a moment to think about your present reality -
all the good things you already have in your life, successful things,
relationships, achievements, favourite objects or other blessings
such as health and a good brain, for example. Breathe deeply as you do that
and allow yourself to be surprised by the sheer quantity of your blessings
in the now.
Enjoy this - and take a drink.

Creating Success For The Future
Now take a moment to reflect on your future goals, those things you want in life,
the successes still to come and really allow yourself to focus strongly on what
you want to achieve.
When you have a really charged feeling about your future success, and you are
clear about what you want in your life, raise your glass up high and say,
"A toast to my success!"
And now, empty the glass completely.

That’s it!

It is a well know fact that positive thinking can be an extremely powerful and effective tool in our business and personal lives. For many people this small but important exercise on Friday will be the first time to discover for themselves that change really is possible when we think positively. The more people there are joining in the celebrations on Friday the more positivity will be spread around for ourselves and for each other, and make our world a nicer place to live. Just try it and see!

ENJOY...........!!!!

Fear

2008-05-13T19:13:00.001Z

3 Fears, 3 Solutions
There are three basic fears that all of us experience from time to time:
Fear of Failure, Fear of Rejection and Fear of the Unknown.

Yes, there are other fears we encounter, but these three are the ones that have the greatest tendency to affect our day to day decisions, and our ability and desire to achieve our goals. Here are some very simple approaches to consider in addressing these fears.

Fear of Failure
Adopt the attitude that there is no such thing as failure. There is only learning. Maybe the goal is too big and unrealistic as it is now. Is there something smaller you could work on first that is "less risky?" In many cases, the "failure" comes from a skills shortage. So, what can you learn how to do, or to better, that reduces the risk? Sometimes we feel we'll "fail" if we have to do the task on our own. Who could you ask to get involved with to accomplish the task with a greater result and less fear? If something doesn't work, try something else. You always have this choice, so "failure" doesn't have to be permanent. Has there ever been a time when you were successful? What made you successful then and can you apply it now? If you haven't succeeded at something before, what have you learnt from it that you can apply to now?

Fear of Rejection
We often focus on the thing the other person is saying "no" to. What are they saying "yes" to? What would be different if you were focused on both what you want and what the other person wants versus just being focused on what you want? Just because someone said "no" to you doesn't mean you don't have value. It's not necessarily about you. There is something to learn from every situation. What could you learn from a "no" answer? Are you really ready for a "yes" response? If you're not ready for it, you might actually attract the "no" response. You always have a choice of attitude. If you choose the negative outcome attitude, you'll attract exactly that. Remember the strengths and value of you, or of the proposition, and focus on that positive. That will attract a far more positive response.

Fear of the Unknown
There are some things you're never going to be able to know about (like the future) in advance, so stop trying. If there's information you need, what can (and will) you do about getting it? Are you trying to make a decision based on an assumption? Remember that assumptions are not facts. Do you trust your intuition? Our intuition is typically right on the mark. Even if the outcome isn't what you want, there's always something to learn from it. Learn the unknown, even if after the fact. Sometimes it takes a leap of faith. Are you willing to simply believe? If you don't try anything, you won't move at all. Taking even little steps helps you learn the unknown, so you can take a bigger step next time. What little step can you take now?

Author: Noel Posus
Website: www.noelposus.com
Adopted from CoachingIQ website

Coaching

2008-04-20T19:39:00.003Z

Coaching is a structured, focused, interactive process designed to unlock potential and maximise performance in people, at both an individual and organisational level. The word coach is derived from early methods of travel e.g. stage coach, and literally means to transport someone from one place to another (Starr, 2003)[i]. This process of transition from where the client is now, to where they wish to be and the capacity to devise an appropriate action plan to get there – ‘with as little effort and as much fun as possible’ (Blanchard & Homan, 2004)[ii] - is fundamental to the coaching process, and journey.

The basis of Personal & Executive Coaching is that people are creative and resourceful, and have the capacity to overcome the challenges confronting them in their personal and professional lives. Coaching releases this potential through effective questioning, constructive challenging and action orientated goal setting, in collaboration with the client(s). The overall objective is to assist individuals identify and overcome barriers to progress, to make more effective decisions, and enhance their performance now and into the future.

[i] Starr, J (2003) The Coaching Manual: The definitive guide to the process, principles and skills of personal Coaching. Pearson Education Ltd Harlow

[ii] Blanchard, S & Homan, M (2004) Leverage Your Best: Ditch the Rest. Coaching Secrets for Life and Work Capstone Publishing Ltd Chichester

At EPM Consulting, our objective is to work with resourceful and succesful people to optimise their potential and effectiveness, in both a personal and business context. We specialise in Career Coaching, which can be delivered one to one in person, or by telephone.

Interested . . why not contact us today to discuss how you can Be your Best!

What do you want in 2008?

2008-01-04T08:59:00.000Z

It is now the first week-end of 2008, and perhaps an opportunity to finally find some space to review and clarify your plans / objectives / goals for 2008. We all - unconsciously at least - have dreams, aspirations and a wish list for the year ahead, even if we haven't yet articulated them, or admitted them consciously. However, as the noted life coach Henry Kimsey-House stated "wishes without goals are just dreams".

To help you get started, I have included below an article by Jack Cranfield.

Decide What You Want by Jack Canfield
In order to get what you want, you must first decide what you want. Most people really foul up at this crucial first step because they simply can't see how it's possible to get what they want -- so they don't even let themselves want it.

Don't sabotage yourself that way!

What scientists now know about how the brain works is that you must first decide WHAT you want, before your brain can figure out HOW to get it. Once you lock-in your desires, your mind and the universe can step in.

Are you ready to get started?

Be Willing to Dream BIG Dreams.
As soon as you commit to a big dream and really go after it, your subconscious creative mind will come up with big ideas to make it happen. You'll start attracting the people, resources, and opportunities you need into your life to make your dream come true. Big dreams not only inspire you, they compel others to want to play big, too.

Set Goals That Will Stretch You
Another value in giving yourself permission to go after the big dreams is that big dreams require you to grow in order to achieve them. In fact, in the long run, that is the greatest benefit you will receive from pursuing your dreams -- not so much the outer trappings of fulfilling the dream (an expensive car, impressive house, loads of money and philanthropic opportunities), but who you become in the process.
As I've seen many times over, the outer symbols of success can all be easily lost. Houses burn down, companies go bankrupt, relationships end, cars get old, bodies age and fame wanes, but who you are, what you have learned, and the new skills you have developed never go away. These are the true prizes of success. Motivational philosopher, Jim Rohn advises that "You should set a goal big enough that in the process of achieving it, you become someone worth becoming."

Service to Others
Something else you'll discover is that when your dreams include service to others -- accomplishing something that contributes to others -- it also accelerates the accomplishment of that goal. People want to be part of something that contributes and makes a difference.

Turn Your Dreams into Goals and Objectives
Once you are clear about what you want, you must turn each item into a measurable objective. By measurable, I mean measurable in space and time -- how much and by when. For instance, if you were to tell me that you wanted more money, I might pull out a dollar and give it to you, but you would probably protest, saying "No, I meant a lot more money -- like $20,000!" Well, how am I supposed to know unless you tell me? Similarly, your boss, your friends, your spouse, your brain -- God, the Universe -- can't figure out what you want unless you tell them specifically what it is. What do you want -- exactly -- and when do you want it by?

Write Your Goals Down
Write your goals down in detail, and read your list of goals every day. This will keep your subconscious mind focused on what you want. For an even more powerful approach, close your eyes and focus on each goal and ask yourself, "What is one thing I could do today to move toward the achievement of this goal?" Write down your answers and take those actions.

I recommend writing down a minimum of 3 goals in each of the following 7 areas:
1. Financial Goals
2. Career/Business Goals
3. Free Time/Family Time
4. Health/Appearance Goals
5. Relationship Goals
6. Personal Growth
7. Making a Difference

To help your reticular activating system begin finding YOUR wants in unexpected places, take time now to decide what you want and start writing!

New Year

2007-12-30T21:43:00.000Z

Further to my post below, I am delighted that an earlier article on New Years Resolutions has been chosen as a front page article by Helium.com. This can be viewed by going to www.helium.com, or by clicking on http://www.helium.com/tm/107977/again-contemplate-making-changes

What a great end to 2007!

2007-12-07T21:09:00.000Z

Barriers to Listening & Communicating well

2007-08-07T19:30:00.000Z

The best communicators are the best listeners, and the best conversationalists are also the best listeners, partly because they have been so attentive. Many complaints and conflicts arise because someone feels they have not been listened to properly. The simplest way to make others feel valued and appreciated is to actively listen to them.

Here are 12 common blocks to listening:
Comparing
Comparing yourself to the speaker and your experience/knowledge etc. with theirs.
Mind Reading
Trying to figure out what the speaker really means, rather than listening to what they are actually saying.
Rehearsing
Rehearsing in your own mind what you're going to say as soon as you get the chance.
Filtering
Only listening for certain things, ignoring the rest and letting your mind wander if you don't hear what you want or expect.
Judging
Judging what the speaker says, rather than listening in an open non-judgemental way.
Dreaming
Only half listening, then allowing your own related thoughts to take you into a daydream.
Identifying
Identifying with what they say and referring it back to your own experience e.g. "You think that was bad, wait till you hear what happened to me!"
Advising
You quickly spot the problem that the speaker is relating and you want to jump in and tell them how to put it right.
Sparring
Jumping into the conversation as soon as you disagree with what you hear.
Being right
You don't listen to anyone else because you are already right and don't want to be challenged on anything.
Derailing
You suddenly changing subject when you get bored or uncomfortable with the topic.
Placating
Responding by saying whatever you think the speaker wants to hear

If you want to enhance your listening skills, it requires conscious effort. Select one or two of the blocks to listening and consciously be aware of when you slip into them. Awareness is of course the first step, and be prepared to feel awkward at first. But stick with it - remember, the price of perserverence is always less than the pain of regret!

With listening and communication skills in general, the more you resist the temptation to impress in the other person’s eyes, the more you will actually shine, and be appreciated by them. Don't you feel valued when someone gives YOU their undivided attention?

Source: Adapted from "Messages" by Matthew McKay, Martha Davis & Patrick Fanning

Using 'The Secret' for Effortless Success

2007-07-03T19:27:00.000Z

Daily Disciplines for Effortless Success

Six Steps for Activating "The Secret" in Your Life by Jack Canfield

The first step to using Law of Attraction as presented in the movie The Secret is to clarify exactly what you want. Remember—determine, write down and talk about what you do want, not what you don’t want. Be as specific as possible. Once you have clarified what you want, do the following each and every day.

1. Morning Intention, Visualisation and Releasing
As soon as you wake up in the morning, take about 5 minutes to focus your mind on your desires, goals and intentions. Start by sitting in a comfortable position, closing your eyes and visualising your desires and goals as already being fulfilled. Spend 30 seconds to a minute on each of your core desires and goals. You can also take a few moments to visualise your day going exactly as you would like it to. When you do this, you will often find negative limiting beliefs that are the result of negative programming from your childhood will come up. You may hear thoughts like “I could never afford that,” “there’s no way I’ll ever get that,” or “who am I kidding?” coming up. Don’t fight or argue with the thought; just release it. Remember to also spend several moments feeling the feelings you would feel if you had already manifested your desire in your life. The intensity of the feeling is what fuels the intensity of the attraction.

2. Use External Images to Keep you Focused on Your Desires and Goals.
To keep yourself focused on what you want to manifest surround yourself with visual images of the things and experiences you want to attract into your life. There are many techniques you can use for this.
1) Cut out pictures of the things you wish to own (like your ideal car or home) and pictures that represent the experiences you want to have (like the perfect relationship, your ideal job, perfect health, being at your ideal weight, more joy, inner peace or balance in your life)to remind yourself of how you want it to be. Tape them up where you will see them every day—on the mirror, the refrigerator, or your bulletin board. You can also scan them into your computer and make them into a screen saver or a continuously running PowerPoint program.
2) Combine your pictures and words that you cut out into a collage on a large piece of poster board.
3) Make a Dream Book by putting the pictures into a 3-ring binder pasted onto the pages or slid into plastic page protectors. When you look at any of these pictures, do what Bob Doyle, who is featured in The Secret teaches— think the thought, “THIS IS MINE NOW! THIS IS WHO I AM!”

3. Think a Better Feeling Thought
Start paying attention to the many times during the day that you have emotional responses (to other people, experiences, or your own thoughts) that are not in alignment with having or producing your desires. Pay special attention to when you feel disappointment, resentment, frustration or anger about your experiences and circumstances. Remember, it’s your feelings (which are created by your thoughts, opinions, and beliefs) that are attracting your current circumstances. You must make a vibrational shift by changing your thoughts to ones that make you feel better (i.e., raise your vibration). Remember that you must become a vibrational match for the things and experiences that you want to attract into your life. It is especially important to focus your thoughts and behaviors on things that cause you to feel joy. Focus your thoughts on thoughts that bring you joy (your lover, your best friend, your grandchildren, your favorite holiday spot) and your actions on doing the things you love to do (pet your cat, work in your garden, listen to your favorite music).

4. Have an Attitude of Gratitude
It is critical to take time each and every day to focus on what you are grateful for. Some people do this in the morning before or after they visualise their desires; others prefer to do it in the evening. Focus on all of the things in your life (most of which you take for granted) that you are grateful for—your health, your children, your job, the nice weather, electricity, running water, a nice stereo system, your flower garden, your pets, your friends). No matter what your situation, there are always things to be grateful for. The more you focus on what you are grateful for, the more things and experiences you will attract to be grateful for.

5. Take Action
There are two kinds of actions you can take. Obvious actions are things like, if you want a better car, going to test drive all of the models you are interested in and choosing the exact car you want to have, and saving 10% of your income in a “car account.” If you want to be a doctor, apply to medical school. There are also what I call “inspired actions.” Once you begin to do the things described above, the universe will start responding by sending people, resources and opportunities you need to manifest your desired result. You are going to find that you have inspired ideas; you must act on them. You must follow those gentle proddings from the universe. Often these intuitive impulses will have no seeming connection to achieving your goal, but if you follow them, they will lead you down a path of wonderful fulfillment. Here’s a quick way to know if the actions you’re taking are taking you closer to the fulfillment of your dreams and desires. If you are feeling joy while you are doing them, then you are on the right path. Remember, joy is your internal guidance system, just like the GPS system in a car, telling you are taking the right actions. Follow your joy.

6. Acknowledge that it is Working
If you start to see something change for the better, acknowledge that it is happening. Appreciate it. When you receive unexpected income, acknowledge it. When you meet someone who can help you achieve your goal, acknowledge that Law of Attraction is working. The more you acknowledge that it’s working, the more it will work. It’s that simple. If you are attracting things into your life that you don’t want, remember the Law of Attraction is still working. Instead of thinking or saying, “It’s not working,” ask your self, “What am I focusing on, thinking about, talking about, feeling or doing that is attracting this into my life?” If you want to know what you are thinking about, notice the results you are producing in your life. To change those results, you will first have to change your vibration by changing your thoughts and feelings. While there are many techniques that are variations on these themes that you can apply, there’s nothing else you have to do.

See more from Jack Cranfield at http://www.freesuccessstrategies.com/

James Sweetman is the author of Graduate to Success and is a leading authority on Peak Performance. If you are ready to step into your potential, visit http://www.jamessweetman.com

Light a Conversation Fire

2007-05-29T19:33:00.000Z

There is a great tactic anyone can use that guarantees great conversation regardless of who you are talking to. The top movers in the world of business and even those charming people who light up any social event know this secret and you can use it too. This is a critical life skill and thankfully it is much easier than people think to excel at conversation skills once you know the smart way to go about it.

There are three simple steps to lighting the conversation fire:

1. Complete Attention.
Give complete attention to the person you are talking to. Yes, all of your attention. Resist the temptation to scan the room, play with the loose change in your pocket or start thinking about what you need to do later in the day. Talk and listen to the person before you as if this is the most important person you have ever met and as if this conversation is the most important discussion of your life. When you do this the other person cannot help but notice the respect you are showing him. This is flattering. You will find whoever you are talking to will respond very positively to this attention. They will warm to you, speak more freely and pay close attention to what you say.

2. Conversation is like fishing.
Small talk is the starting point. Why? You engage in small talk to fish for great topics of conversation that appeal to you and the other person - you are looking for shared interests and passions. For this reason, and following on from step one, pay very close attention to the non-verbal behavior of the other person as he talks. You need to spot clues that indicate his interests. And, you want to avoid those topics he finds boring, annoying or distasteful. It is easy to spot these clues as long as you pay more attention to how someone talks than to what he says. You´ll still hear everything he says. You then simply look for clues as indicated by more enthusiasm in his voice and body language.

3. Follow the path of least resistance.
When you spot a topic that generates enthusiasm follow that lead and drive the conversation in that direction. This is very easy to do since people love to talk about what interests them. A few good questions to open up the topic is usually all it takes. A spark then ignites the conversation and before you know it the conversation takes on a life of its own. Make sure to match the enthusiasm of the other person in your voice tone and in your body language. This is important. If you fail to do this you will dampen their enthusiasm.

One important point. Some topics will get an emotional response that looks like enthusiasm but are to be avoided is meeting someone for the first time. If an issue agitates the other person the annoyance is like a negative passionate enthusiasm! This is risky ground with someone you do not know very well and is best to steer clear of. Look for positive enthusiasm especially topics that cause someone to smile or laugh. Make it a goal to fish for topics that make people feel good and you´ll make friends with new people even faster that you expect.

You can light the conversation fire anytime you want to by remembering these three points: give complete attention to the other person, fish for great topics and follow the path of less resistance.

Over time you will get better and better at each step until it becomes second nature. At this point this process will run on automatic and meeting people becomes a lot of fun. This is a key point. It takes a little practice to get this right and when you do people will find it very difficult to not give you their undivided attention. You should work every day to send out positive and creative signals to others by your words, actions and body language. The way you act can have either a negative or positive impact on others as well as yourself. If you want to succeed in both your personal and professional life, or further develop your people skills, it is crucial to change from a pattern of destructive, negative thoughts to positive,creative thinking.

Why not try it out yourself . . .what have you got to lose?

Similar tips are available from www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Stress & Distress

2007-05-18T19:33:00.000Z

Stress Management

When people talk about stress, they generally apply a negative meaning to the word. In addition, most of us are conditioned to thinking negative thoughts when we hear the word stress. However, there is a subtle but important distinction between stress and distress, which is what we usually mean in this context.

Stress can be a positive thing. In a physiological sense, it allows the flow of adrenaline, and prepares our 'fight or flight' response to allow us escape or face dangerous or scary situations. At a lower level, it is what makes us nervous in terms of anxiety, such as in advance of exams, or interviews for example. This can be positive, as in these situations - if we acknowledge, harness and channel this stress - we can actualy perform better. It can be enhancement to performance, and not an inhibitor. But we have to manage it appropriately.

However for too many people this is not the case. The stress - or more properly distress - they experience actually envelopes them, and causes a deterioration in performance. They freeze in the face of anxiety and the consequences are almost always negative.

One of the ways to manage stress is to think about it differently, and to move those things which cause you stress in your life into a separate space. Compartmentalise it, look at it from a distance, as if in a bubble. Is the situation and the stress managing you, or are you in control of it? We cannot control every situation, but we can control how we respond to them. That is our power.

We can all learn to recognise the signs of stress in ourselves, how they manifest themselves, and how we can manage them effeciently. Why not contact us at www.epmconsulting.eu and see how we can assist you with simple, effective solutions you can apply daily, to make your life - and the lives of those around you - better.

How we Know what we Know

2007-04-30T18:30:00.000Z

We are probably all familiar with statements such as 'Knowledge is Power', or 'A little knowledge is a dangerous thing'. However, most of us never stop to consider how we acquire knowledge. For some people this involves hours of study, for others, it seems to be absobed without effort, almost like osmosis.

One of the most famous, or perhaps infamous pronouncements on the nature of knowledge came from Donald Rumsfeld, the then US Secretary of State for Defence. He baffled millions of people by offering the following at a Press Conference . . . . .

As we know, There are known knowns. There are things we know we know.
We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say, we know there are some things we do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns, The ones we don't know we don't know.
(Feb. 12, 2002, Department of Defense news briefing)

Confused? Most people are, at first reading. However, if you go back and read his statement slowly, line by line - and actually stop to think about it for a moment - the mist begins to clear a little. Perhaps it does make sense after all.

In fact, the basis for his statement has a solid foundation in Educational Theory about how we learn. The scientific approach to a learning cycle - especially to learning a skill - suggests that it involves the following stages:

Stage 1 Unconscious Incompetence
Essentially this is the 'things that we don't know, we don't know'. An example might be driving a car . . . as a child we are quite happy simply to be transported from A to B, we don't know (or care) that we are not able to do this ourselves

Stage 2 Conscious Incompetence
This is where we develop an awareness that there are things that we don't know, and would like to learn. Using the car driving analogy, this usually happens in teenage years, when we develop an interest in being able to master this skill independently

Stage 3 Conscious Competence
This applies when we are in the process of learning a new skill, and suddenly we 'know that we know' how to do something, even though the process may feel awkward, complex and difficult to master. We consciously concentrate on the discrete stages, and are acutely aware of each distinct element in the process (e.g. simultaneously pressing clutch & changing gears etc).

Stage 4 Unconscious Competence
This is the final stage in our learning transition, when we have mastered the skill to such a degree that we undertake it automatically, without conscious thought. Those of us who have learned to drive will be aware that, after a short time, our ability (or competence) reaches such a high level that we no longer need to concentrate on the elements - we carry them out unconsciously.

Life's Obligations and Obstacles

2007-04-06T04:20:00.000Z

Recently I came across an article by Life Coach Shalini Sinha, which struck a cord with me. In the article, she states some fundamental truths, some of which I have repeated (and added some personal thoughts to) below. Her fundamental message was that:-

There is nothing you have to do with your life. Absolutely nothing. There is no particular job you have to have. You don't have to earn loads of money. There is no right person you have to spend your time with. You don't have to get married or have children. There is nothing specific you have to eat. Nowhere in particular you have to go. There is nothing you have to do.
Sound like a cryptic riddle for the meaning of life? For most of us, it is. On any given morning, we face a list of things we have to do and things we should do. We are driven by obligation; driven by external pressures and demands. In this, what we really want has moved so far down the list it barely registers anymore.

Still, the secret to life is that there is genuinely no requirement. This is your life, and the most definite thing we know about it is that it can be as unique as you are. It needn't look like the examples you see around you. You have the freedom to do this differently. Most importantly, there is nothing you are supposed to do, no right or wrong answer, no prescription.

The ugly truth is that most of us don't feel this. We don't feel we have an inherent value - that our birth, our formation, in and of itself, was remarkable enough to give value to our lives. Not only do we make many key decisions based on a distorted sense of what we should be doing, but we also fill our days with mundane actions that reflect what we believe others (friends, family or community) expect of us. Worse again, we often ‘catastrophise’ and make a major fuss over things which are, on reflection, trivial and meaningless. Unfortunately, this can often only be seen with the benefit of hindsight and the perspective that the passing of time brings.

In an increasingly busy world, few of us feel in control of our lives. Instead, we are being driven somewhere that often neither makes sense nor nurtures our own confidence, imagination or values. And, we feel powerless to stop this. We feel too isolated to take risks and believe in our own vision for life. The only thing we have to do in life is express ourselves. Express our sense of joy, our values and our capabilities. But somehow we are fearful.

The words of Marianne Williamson – famously quoted by Nelson Mandela – have relevance here:-

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Often our upbringing and conditioning suffocates our sense of wonder, and suppresses our feelings of self worth. By the time we become teenagers, we are very insecure about ourselves. Many of us have gained deeply entrenched struggles of feeling invisible, unloved and invaluable, and we carry these into our adulthood. There is something we are doing wrong with each other if this is happening. Something we are doing wrong with ourselves. However we have to fight with conformity and retain our true sense of worth, of value, of self. We have to retain our sense of wonder.

Remember as Bob Moorehead reminds us . . . . Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away.

See:
The Bigger Picture: Nothing to Do by Shalini Sinha. Irish Times Health Supplement – 3rd April 2007.

Return to Love – Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles by Marianne Williamson (1992) Harper Collins

Dr Bob Moorehead - www.xdude.com/paradox.htm

6 Steps to Success

2007-03-06T19:43:00.000Z

To climb the career ladder you need a variety of skills and expertise. You also need to have the right attitude and mindset. People who achieve success in their chosen fields adhere to the laws of success. Irrespective of your current position, apply these six principles to climb the career ladder.

1. Know your result
Just as companies have end of year results, in twelve months time you will have results in terms of your career, finances, health and relationships. What do you want your results to be in 2007? If you don’t make a conscious effort to determine where you are going, in terms of career (and life) direction; where you are investing your time and energy, you will constantly be reacting to the demands of others. How will you know you are on the right track unless you know your destination?

2. Take Action
Knowledge is only potential power, goals and results are only achieved when you take action. There are two types of action, swift and persistent. Swift action generates momentum. Persistent action ensures steady progress.

3. Flexibility
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result each time, is a humourous definition of madness. It is all too easy to get stuck in a rut, but if what you are doing is not getting you closer to where you would like to be, then common sense says try something different.

4. Continuous Learning
In a recent study of global high achievers carried out by Fortune Magazine, the main factor that distinguished people at the top of their game in a business and sports context are the ones that carried out what they labelled ‘disciplined practice.’ This means continuously assessing how you are performing and more importantly how you can take your performance to the next level. Just think of Tiger Woods!

5.Model Success
Who do you know that has achieved what you would like to achieve? What can you learn from them? From my experience people who have achieved what you would like to achieve, will be only too willing to share their experience with you, if you approach them in the right way.

6. Personal Excellence
Having the attitude of being and doing your best at whatever it is you undertake is an attitude that will get you noticed. From an employer’s perspective training will increase your competence, but the right attitude is either something you have or you don’t.

In terms of your career, change is automatic, but progress is not. Start living the above principles and you will be proactively shaping your future.

Every successful athlete & performer has a coach, so why should it be any different for individuals who want to excel in their careers

James Sweetman is the author of Graduate to Success and is a leading authority on Peak Performance.
If you are ready to step into your potential, visit http://www.jamessweetman.com

Edward de Bono & Six Thinking Hats

2007-03-01T19:38:00.000Z

Edward de Bono has been a long time promoter of methodologies which support and encourage people to think more creatively. His early work on Lateral Thinking (1990) is internationally recognised, and revered. DeBono believed that humans utilise pre-determined processes and channels to process routine thought which, although effective , are often somewhat inhibitive, rigid and restrictive. He theorised that if we could utilise parallel channels to process information, this would provide an entirely different perspective on the issue under consideration, and allow us to identify more creative solutions to problems.

In particular De Bono developed the Six Thinking Hats approach, designed either for individual or group use, to explore a topic in a structured way from multiple perspectives. Each hat has a different colour, and associated attitudinal perspective which should be considered in turn. The Six Hats are:-

White Hat: This hat is neutral, and your are encouraged to examine the facts, data, trends etc in an emotional vacuum. How can they be explained?

Black Hat: provides a pessimistic perspective, where you try to identify problems, disadvantages and difficulties.

Yellow Hat: This encourages an optimistic approach, seeking to identify benefits amd plus factors, where you delight in defining the benefits of the topic.

Green Hat: This looks for a fresh perspective, and different new ways of approaching the topic not previously considered. How else might it be explored? Have all angles been considered?

Red Hat: This is the emotional hat, which seeks to captures gut feelings, emotional reactions, hunches etc. How do you feel about this issue? What is your heart telling you?

Blue Hat: This is the Summary Hat, often adopted by the Chairperson, seeking to pull all viewpoints together to form a coherent picture, to prioritise and evaluate identified options.

The basic premis of this approach is that, when considering an issue in some detail, each 'hat' should be worn in turn to consider the problem from markedly different perspectives. This approach at first glance appears fatuous, and can be uncomfortable initially. However, it has the capacity at worst to provide a balanced evaluation of available options in a highly structured way, and at best to provide a powerful tool to provide multiple perspectives.

Edward deBono's numerous books provides an interesting insight into how we can think more creatively. You might also have a look at www.thinksmart.com for further information.

Theories & Models - Enneagram

2007-02-15T20:09:00.000Z

The Enneagram measures human personality by 9 basic types. However, instead of measuring surface traits, it gets below these and into motivations. Motivations can often result in the same behaviours, which is why people of the same motivation may appear just like each other on the outside -- or not. The Enneagram is mainly a diagnostic tool of one's emotional outlook on life. It will not cure one's problems, but may help point out their underlying fixations. It is also useful as a guide to how other people see the world differently.

The Nine Basic Types

Type One - Reformer
Perfectionistic, orderly, hard-working, ethical, conscientious. They can be very rational and idealistic, but can also be judgemental and convinced they are always right. Motivation: To be right, ethical, perfect.

Type Two - Giver / Helper
Generous, friendly, prideful, seductive, reassuring. They can be very loving and dedicated, but also possessive and manipulative. Motivation: To be loved, thanked, important in others' lives.

Type Three - Achiever
Ambitious, goal-oriented, adaptable, deceiving, presentable. They can be exemplars of "all you can be", but also shallow and arrogant. Motivation: To be admired by others, successful, a winner.

Type Four - Individualist
Creative, depressive, romantic, shy, unique. They can be profound artists who express the inexpressable, but also self-hating and clinging. Motivation: To understand the self, be unique, express themselves.

Type Five - Investigator
Insightful, theoretical, detached, eccentric, intense. They can be extremely brilliant and inventive, but also nihilistic and alienated. Motivation: To understand the world, find safety from it, become skilled.

Type Six - Loyalist
Loyal, skeptical, complex, paranoid, dependable. They can be excellent team players but get lost in scapegoating and fear. Motivation: To find security, resolve their paranoia.

Type Seven - Enthusiast
Enthusiastic, worldy, optimistic, scattered, accomplished. They can truly love life like no one else, but can fall victim to hedonism and excess. Motivation: To experience life, be happy, not miss out.

Type Eight - Chief / Challenger
Powerful, leading, aggressive, cruel, protective. They can be magnamious leaders who get the job done, but can become violent and terrorizing. Motivation: To be in control, strong, independent.

Type Nine - Peacemaker
Peaceful, receptive, complacent, forgetting, gentle. They can be relaxed and terrific friends, but can become unaware of reality and problems. Motivation: To be at peace, be in harmony with the universe.

The 9 types can mix like colors on a palette. However, mixtures with numerically adjacent types are particularly frequent and striking, and are called "wings". Hence, a 5's wing will either be type 4, or type 6 (or occasionally both). A 9's wing will either be type 8 or 1. It is also possible for someone not to have a strong wing, or to have elements of both wings.

Advocates of the Enneagram system suggest that, whilst it is a more difficult (and complex) system than the Myers-Briggs, but ultimately more meaningful, descriptive, and enlightening.
Don Riso and Russ Hudson of The Enneagram Institute have produced several Enneagram-based personality tests for personal, group, and business use. Basic, free tests are available at www.enneagraminstitute.com. Further, detailed information is also available at www.9types.com.

Personal Development Planning

2007-02-07T17:06:00.000Z

A Personal Development Plan (PDP) is a framework - within an occupational context - for matching individual needs to organisational needs, in a mutually fulfilling manner. It is an approach that encourages individuals to take responsibility for managing their own learning and development goals, and aligning these to orgnisational objectives. The PDP sets out the actions people propose to take to learn, and develop themselves, with the support of the organisation and their line manager. They should also work with those around them (peers and direct reports) and consider obtaining a 360 degree review, to assist them identify training and development needs.

As a process Personal Development Planning involves the individual:-
- identifying their current situation,
- identifying where they would like to be in the future, and
- developing a plan outlining the learning & development required to get there.

PDPs can vary in focus, but generally include elements of:
- job related development to assist performance in current role and attainment of organisational objectives
- career development to align individual career planning & organisational 'succession' planning so that the optimal match of individual & organisation needs are achieved
- non-work related development focusing on non-work related skills to enhance personal effectiveness generally, which will often have a tangible occupational benefit
- holistic development - incorporating all of the above, emphasising the 'whole person' in all aspects of their life.

PDPs can be beneficial to individuals by giving them greater control over their destiny, achieving work-life balance, enhancing their employability and other less tangible benefits e.g. alignment of personal goals & values with emotional & intellectual committment to their work. From an organisational perspective, PDPs can facilitate the effective accomplishment of goals, san focus developments on job related needs, show that employees are valued, form a key component of learning organisation ethos, increase employee retention and provide a cost effective return on investment in training & staff development.

Theories & Models - Maslows Hierarchy of Needs

2007-02-07T11:58:00.000Z

Each of us is motivated by needs. Our most basic needs are inborn, having evolved over tens of thousands of years. Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs helps to explain how these needs motivate us all.

Maslow's original Hierarchy of Needs model was developed between 1943-1954, and first widely published in Motivation and Personality in 1954. At this time the Hierarchy of Needs model comprised five needs. The original version remains for most people the definitive Hierarchy of Needs.

1. Biological and Physiological needs - air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep, etc.
2. Safety needs - protection from elements, security, order, law, limits, stability, etc.
3. Belongingness and Love needs - work group, family, affection, relationships, etc.
4. Esteem needs - self-esteem, achievement, mastery, independence, status, dominance, prestige, managerial responsibility, etc.
5. Self-Actualization needs - realising personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs states that we must satisfy each need in turn, starting with the first, which deals with the most obvious needs for survival itself. Only when the lower order needs of physical and emotional well-being are satisfied are we concerned with the higher order needs of influence and personal development. Conversely, if the things that satisfy our lower order needs are swept away, we are no longer concerned about the maintenance of our higher order needs.
These needs are generally organised / visualised as a pyramid, with Biological & Physical Needs forming the base, with subsequent needs built on top of this leading towards the apex at the top, which is self-actualisation.

Later models contain an additional element of Transcendence i.e. helping others to reach their potential – this is similar in many ways to Covey’s 8th Habit.

The Four Agreements – Don Miguel Ruiz

2007-02-07T11:55:00.000Z

Don Miguel Ruiz's book, The Four Agreements was published in 1997. For many, The Four Agreements is a life-changing book, whose ideas come from the ancient Toltec wisdom of the native people of Southern Mexico. The Toltec were 'people of knowledge' - scientists and artists who created a society to explore and conserve the traditional spiritual knowledge and practices of their ancestors. The Toltec viewed science and spirit as part of the same entity, believing that all energy - material or ethereal - is derived from and governed by the universe.

Don Miguel Ruiz, born and raised in rural Mexico, was brought up to follow his family's Toltec ways by his mother, a Toltec faith healer, and grandfather, a Toltec 'nagual', a shaman. Despite this, Don Miguel decided to pursue a conventional education, which led him to qualify and practice for several years as a surgeon. Following a number of life changing events, he later returned to his ancestral beliefs and teachings.

Like many gurus and philosophical pioneers, Ruiz has to an extent packaged, promoted and commercialised his work. Nevertheless the simplicity and elegance of his thinking remains a source of great enlightenment and aspiration. The simple ideas of The Four Agreements provide an inspirational code for life; a personal development model, and a template for personal development, behaviour, communications and relationships.

Here is how Don Miguel Ruiz summarises 'The Four Agreements':

agreement 1
Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

agreement 2
Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

agreement 3
Don’t make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

agreement 4
Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Theories & Models - Stephen Covey's Habits of Highly Effective People

2007-01-26T18:57:00.000Z

First published in 1989, the '7 Habits of Highly Effective People' quickly became an international bestseller. The basis of the text is that our character is a composite of our habits, which Covey defines as the intersection of our skills, knowledge and desires. Habits exert a powerful and consistent influence over our lives and impact directly, and daily, on our personal effectiveness . . . or ineffectiveness.

According to Covey, the 7 Habits are designed to provide an incremental, sequential and highly integrated approach to the development of personal and interpersonal effectiveness. They represent a complete framework of universal, timeless principles of character, and human effectiveness. The habits exist on a continuum from
dependence (where we are directed, nurtured & sustained by others) through independence (where we develop physical, mental, emotional & financial self reliance) to interdependence (where individuals combine talents & abilities to create a sum greater than that of the individual parts).

In the text, this is also described as a transition from the paradigm of YOU (you take care of me; you made me do this) to the paradigm of I (I can do this) through to the paradigm of WE (we can co-operate).

The 7 Habits are cited as follows:

1 Be Proactive
2 Begin with the End in Mind
3 Put First things First
4 Think Win / Win
5 Speak first to Understand . . .then to be Understood
6 Synergise
7 Sharpen the Saw

The last habit surrounds the other habits & makes them possible, and invokes principles of balanced self-renewal.

More recently, in 2004 Covey revisited the concept and added 'The 8th Habit', subtitled 'From Effectiveness to Greatness'. Covey is at pains to point out that the 8th Habit is not about adding a previously overlooked principle to the original seven. Rather it is about seeing and harnessing a third dimension that meets the challenge of the new 'Knowledge Worker Age'.

The 8th Habit is:

8 Find your Voice, and Inspire others to Find Theirs

This is based on Covey's assertion that their is a deep, innate, almost irrepresible yearning within all of us to find our voice in life. This Voice resides at the nexus, or intersection of our Talent, Passion, Need & Conscience - it is in effect, our 'souls code'.

Theories & Models - Myers Briggs Personality Types

2007-01-26T18:56:00.000Z

Psychological type is a theory of personality developed by Swiss psychiatrist Dr. Carl G. Jung to explain the normal differences between healthy people. Jung concluded that differences in behavior result from people’s inborn tendencies to use their minds in different ways. Jung’s type theory defines patterns of normal behaviour, or types, and gives an explanation of how types develop. The mother and daughter team of Myers & Briggs further developed Jung’s theory creating the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), a self-report questionnaire designed to make Jung’s theory of psychological types understandable and useful in everyday life. After more than 50 years of research and development, the MBTI is the most widely used & accepted instrument available.

Personality type training is used by organizations around the globe and has become an essential tool for assessing personality differences and using those differences to improve individual and team performance. It can also be used in personal relationships.

In short, the theory has four behavioural dimensions of how Energy is focused, how Information is gathered, how Decisions are made and how Action is taken. Within each behavioural dimension, are two opposite poles – preferences – for which everyone has a natural preference (inborn strength) for one of the two opposites in each of the four behavioural dimensions. These are ascribed a letter, as follows:-

Energy -- I for Introversion or E for Extroversion
Information -- S for Sensing, or N for iNtuition
Decisions -- T for Thinking or F for Feeling
Action -- J for Judging or P for Perceiving

Our psychological type is thus described by the combination of the above four choices e.g. ISFJ, ENTP etc. There are a total of 16 possible combinations, each which have discrete and definable characteristics, specific to that type. These can be further extrapolated into personal and professional characteristics, leadership styles, preferences for career type, communication styles etc. As we use our preferences, we develop what the research defines as our psychological type: an underlying personality pattern resulting from the dynamic interaction of our four preferences, environmental influences and our own choices. People tend to develop behaviours, skills, and attitudes associated with their type, and those with types that differ from yours, will likely be opposite you in many ways. Each type represents a valuable and reasonable way to be. Each type has its own potential strengths, as well as its likely blind spots.

This is a widely used, and well tested approach, which appears to have a high degree of validity and acceptance. Most people who undergo ‘testing’ generally agree with their identified type, and its predominant characteristics.

If you wish to undertake a basic assessment of your personality type, and see related information go to www.personalitypathways.com Articles on the application of the MBTI can be viewed at www.thepeopleprocess.com/articles.htm

Theories & Models - Neuro Linguistic Programming

2007-01-26T18:55:00.002Z

Neuro Lingusitic Programming (or NLP) was developed in California in the mid 1970's by John Grinder & Richard Bandler. NLP is a systematic study of human communication, which analyses the relationships between thinking (neuro), language (lingusitic) and achievement, and then models best practice (programming) to make it available to others as a conduit for change. The underlying assumption is that there are defined patterns - or meta programmes - hardwired into the brain, which act as filters or channels for information. These influence and determine our individual perceptions, motivation, behavioural responses etc. Essentially, NLP is an approach centred on recognising, applying, developing and reproducing effective behaviours, thought processes and ways of communicating that contribute to success.

NLP is generally considered to have four main aspects:

1 An Attitude of Curiousity - how do people do what they do? How is it somedays we are better than others? Why is this, and how can we replicate 'best behaviour' regularly.

2 A Methodology of Modelling - exploring ideas and actions to establish how they operate. Using this information derived from effective habits of highly functioning individuals, models of best practice are devised.

3 A Vision - having access to the best possible methods

4 A Set of Tools - NLP has a basic set of tools which, when implemented, develop further approaches

Our meta programmes - of which there is accepted to be approx 120 'stabilised' sorting patterns - can be identified to some degree by our use of language. Basically, people are motivated in two directions, i.e. towards pleasure or away from pain. 'Those in Towards Pleasure' mode use positive phrasing and action words (such as gain, achieve, accomplish) and often fail to account for potential problems when considering goals or directions to set themselves. Those in 'Away from Pain' mode are opposite, often using negative phrases (prevent, avoid, unable) and are likely to point first to likely difficulties in any proposed plan. Their glass is generally half-empty, rather than half full, to use a common analogy.

The NLP approach is used extensively in Coaching, and by Sports Psychologists. It is also used effectively by populist exponents such as Paul McKenna, in their clinical psychotherapy work with clients, assisting them to stop smoking or lose weight.

More comprehensive information is available from books and websites, such as:

www.neurolinguisticprogramming.com and www.nlpinfo.com for example.

Theories & Models - Transactional Analysis

2007-01-26T18:55:00.001Z

Transactional Analysis (TA) was first described as a coherent concept by Eric Berne in his 1964 book ‘Games People Play’. Berne outlined his theory of the person, which places interpersonal interactions, or transactions, at the centre. He defines a transaction as occurring when we respond to a stimulus signal (e.g. a question) from another person.

In responding to these stimuli, we are likely to adopt one of three mind states (i.e. child, adult or parent), which will intersect with the other persons mind state. The child state is based on feelings, the parent mind state is generally critical, whilst the adult mind state – which is the preferred mode – is rational. Thus transactions, or conversations can occur at a number of levels e.g. child – child, child – parent, adult – child etc. As you can imagine, adult to adult mind state interactions are best, as they will be rational and often co-operative, whilst parent – parent interactions may be overtly critical in nature, which if repeated may descend into conflict.

Berne hypothesises that, during difficult or stressful times and/or periods of insecurity, we may regress in a child mind state. In a healthcare setting, ‘difficult’ patients experiencing illness may be operating from their child state, and require positive reinforcement to build their ‘adult’ self. Hostile relatives may be operating from a judgemental, ‘parent’ state and thus require a response which is adult, and rational. This of course assumes that we are conscious at all times of our behaviour, and that of others, and the mind state being adopted by either party. Equally, it should be recognised that these mind states are dynamic, and may change frequently during the course of any interaction. Indeed, Berne argues that transactions assemble into ‘games’ which, when repeated / practised often enough during our lifetime condition us to respond semi-automatically to stimuli (like ‘scripts’). In this regard, being finely tuned to the positions being adopted – usually unconsciously – and developing insight is paramount.

The ultimate goal of Transactional Analysis is to build up our adult mind state through positive and productive interactions to be rational, caring and co-operative. TA offers a systematic approach to understanding ourselves and others, and its approaches are practical, insightful and readily communicated. This makes TA an ideal framework for teaching & learning ‘soft-skills’, as it aligns a reasonable explanation of both the conscious (behavioural) and unconscious (emotional) processes in people, with parallel principles for effective behaviour modification.

Theories & Models - Dale Carneige

2007-01-26T18:54:00.001Z

First written in 1936, How to Win Friends, and Influence People is probably the seminal self-help text, and spawned a subsequent industry of personal development handbooks. The book was originally written to provide "training in the fine art of getting along with people, in everyday business and social contacts".

The book is divided into four parts, with a number of key principles underpinning each section, as follows:-

Part 1 - Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

- don't criticize, condemn or complain
- give honest and sincere appreciation
- arouse in the other person an eager want

Part 2 - Six Ways to Make People Like You

- become genuinely interested in other people
- smile
- remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest & most important sound in any language
- be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- talk in terms of the other persons interests
- make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely

Part 3 - How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

- the only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
- show respect to the other persons opinions. Never say 'You're Wrong'
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
- Begin in a friendly way
- get the other person saying Yes immediately
- let the other person do a great deal of the talking
- let the other person feel the idea is his or hers
- try honestly to see things from the other persons point of view
- be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires
- appeal to their nobler motives
- dramatize your ideas
- throw down a challenge

4 Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offence or Arousing Resentment

- begin with praise and honest appreciation

- call attention to peoples mistakes indirectly

- talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person

- ask questions instead of giving direct orders

- let the other person save face

- praise the slightest improvement, and every improvement

- give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

- use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct

- make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

In many respects, it can be argued that Carneige's approach is subservient and lacks assertiveness in the extreme. It is very people centred, and is predicated on protecting the other persons feelings. However, whilst much of the language, and many of the examples, used in the book are now dated, the core principles espoused over 70 years ago have provided the bedrock of many of the Personal Development approaches still being used today.

Theories & Models - Emotional Intelligence

2007-01-25T12:51:00.000Z

Emotional Intelligence

Originally coined by two American psychologists Peter Salovey & John Meyer, the concept of Emotional Intelligence was popularised in the 1990's primarily by Daniel Goleman . This theory differentiates between the conventional Intelligence Quotient (IQ) – which is generally considered to be genetically determined and fixed – and Emotional Intelligence (EQ), which can be developed and enhanced. EQ suggests that the part of the brain that controls emotion receives external signals in advance of the intelligence functions, which implies that initial responses to events are often emotional, rather than rational.

In essence, Emotional Intelligence can be defined as a learned ability to perceive, understand and express our feelings accurately, and to control our emotions so that they work for, rather than against, us. The five core competencies of Emotional Intelligence are outlined below.

Self Awareness : knowing what you are feeling and how your emotions affect your performance. By insight into your strengths and weaknesses, you are better placed to gain self-confidence and certainty about your capabilities, values and goals
Self Regulation: ability to control your emotions and reduce stress by acting in a more positive and proactice way. The key benefits are the ability to retain composure and think more clearly under pressure, to modify your impulses and to exercise self-restraint
Motivation: persistence in overcoming discouragement, and enjoy challenge, stimulation and then strive for achievement towards your personal goals.
Empathy: ability to ‘read’ emotions in others, to understand others points of view and behave openly and honestly with others.
Social Skills: influencing & handling other peoples emotions and engaging in honing interpersonal skills such as communication, listening, negotiation and leadership amongst others

Goleman (2002) contends that ‘great leadership works through the emotions’ and that the key task of leaders is to create ‘resonance’ i.e. a reservoir of positivity that liberates people, to flourish and perform to the best of their ability.

Further general info available at www.eiconsortium.org and www.eq.org with
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence and www.businessballs.com/eq.htm also work a look.

Resolutions - a review

2007-01-14T20:50:00.000Z

The New Year is two weeks old, but how are your newly made, bright & shiny resolutions surviving? Are they looking a bit tarnished, battered & bruised, or have they been consigned to the bin until next Year . . .and another attempt.

If you are struggling, or want to get started again here's another approach that might be useful - the SMART approach.
The SMART acronym is widely used in Project Management, and stands for :

Specific:- make your goal specific. Rather than saying that "I want to lose weight", try restating this aim to 'I want to lose 1lb each week'

Measurable:- put an amount, or even a limit on your objective e.g. if you are cutting down on cigarettes rather than stopping, set yourself a goal of reducing by one/two/ten per day /week or month, as you decide. This will assist you benchmark your actual progress against your plans

Achievable:- set goals that are realistic, and within your capacity to attain. Be careful not to be too ambitious, or take too optimistic an approach. If for example you are planning to increase your activity levels, don't try and run 10 miles on the first day, or push yourself to 100% capacity.

Realistic:- Further to above, start small and achieve within your capacity. Its better to start with small successes, which build confidence. Give yourself some space and capacity to improve. Start by pushing yourself only to 60% - 70% of your limit, and know that you can - and will - do better tomorrow.

Time bound:- Put your goals and objectives into a defined timescale, e.g. losing 1lb per week, 4lbs by end of month etc but keep the time line fairly short. Aiming to lose x amount of weight before the summer holidays for example, may give you mental permission to lapse, as the goal (and ultimate reward) is too far into the future.

Before I finish, if you have managed to maintain your resolution and are sticking with it . . . WELL DONE!!! Take a little time out to pat yourself on the back, reflect on the changes you have made and use these improvements, and your positive feelings about your success to date, as a springboard to continued success.

Reflections on Life 2

2007-01-02T12:04:00.000Z

The following was sent to recently me by a friend:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When
you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need
you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any
wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say
or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.

Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must
realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work
is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to
move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has
come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or
make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They
usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real.
But only for a season!

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must
build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to
accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use
in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love
is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a
season or a lifetime.

Reflections on Life

2007-01-02T11:35:00.000Z

The following piece was written by Dr Bob Moorehead, and not foul-mouthed American comedian George Carlin, to whom it is often attributed. It was given to me by Tom Kenny, a Belfast based Management Consultant. I suspect there are lessons for us all in the message:

A wonderful Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers;
wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete. Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people.... who cares?

See:
www.xdude.com/paradox.htm

Any Ideas?

2006-12-28T20:20:00.000Z

This is the section where YOU might like to suggest topics to be covered, or that you might like more information on. Just click on the comments link below, and off you go! Check back and hopefully the info you need will be there. Alternatively, why not check our website at www.epmconsulting.eu, or e-mail info@epmconsulting.eu for further info, without obligation.

New Year Resolutions

2006-12-27T15:14:00.000Z

Its that time of year again, when many of us contemplate making changes in our life. For some, these will be minor alterations, whilst others may be considering more major changes. Commonly these changes involve shifts in behaviour (such as deciding to lose weight, to stop smoking, to take more exercise or to change direction in our careers or relationships). Often these changes have been germinating in our conscious or unconscious mind for some time, and a New Year offers us the opportunity psychologically to make a new start.

Research suggests there are three groups which people belong to when considering changing their behaviour, which broadly speaking can be categorised as:

non-contemplators: this group are generally happy with their lot, and see no need to change. This may be due to lack of insight, lack of motivation or being genuinely satisfied with their life and lifestyle at this time
pre-contemplators: this group have occasional (and perhaps increasing) pangs of guilt or dissatisfaction with their current situation, and would like certain things to be different. However, these insights are fleeting and have not yet become sufficiently irritating or disturbing to convert into the action required to change
contemplators: This group have reached the point where they are ready to take positive action to change. They are sufficiently dissatisfied with their current situation to make positive behavioural changes. This group are the prime focus of campaigns aimed at Smoking cessation etc at this time of year.

If you have reached the point where you are motivated to change, how might you improve your chances of success?

The pointers outlined below may be useful to you at this time.

Plan: Think through the change you wish to make in a rational way. Consider the implications of what you need to do in practical terms. What impact will this change have on your 'significant others'? What action will you take to replace the existing behaviour with a more positive alternative?
Be Practical: In most cases, the behaviour or habit you are trying to break has taken years to evolve, and become embedded as a significant part of your life over a long period of time. Don't expect that it will be easy to change overnight.
Be Positive: Start out with a positive determination to succeed.
Start Small: Whilst for some, the 'big bang' approach is appropriate, for many others setting small, short term targets that are achievable is more effective. Starting with a number of small successes can be the building blocks necessary to maintain and sustain the change in behaviour you are trying to make. Think Evolution rather than Revolution!!
Reward Yourself: Celebrate success and openly acknowledge the progress you are making. Obviously the rewards should be genuinely earned, and appropriate - opting for a chocolate cake 'reward' in the midst of a weight loss regime might be best avoided!
Lapses: Accept that there will inevitably be setbacks along the way, and plan for these. Don't allow these to be the excuse to fall back into old, established patterns of behaviour. When lapses happen - and they will happen - start again with renewed vigour. View lapses as diversions on your road to success, and don't get derailed from your ultimate goal.
Involving Others: No man is an island. Consider involving family, friends and/or colleagues in your quest for success. Others can provide support and encouragement when your willpower is wavering. Knowing others are aware of your goals may provide you with the extra impetus to succeed, if only to prove to them you can do it!

Finally, be clear that all change is difficult, and requires patience and perserverance (as are all things that are worth having). Remember, the Price of Persistence is always less than the Pain of Regret . Why not make that your motto for the weeks and months ahead?

Welcome

2006-12-18T20:14:00.000Z

Welcome to the Personal Effectiveness Blog

Over time, this site will have a wide range of information on how you might increase your Personal Effectiveness. It will contain detailed background information on a range of behaviours that will asist you to Be Your Best!

Further information can also be obtained from my company website www.epmconsulting.eu

I hope you find the information useful. Please feel free to comment - all feedback is gratefully received and considered. If there is anything not here, that you would like covered, why not post these in the Any Ideas section.

I look forward to hearing from you.